First Beach
by flightlessbird75
Summary: Post Bella's Cliff dive in New Moon. Bella finaly aknowledges her feelings for Jacob unknowingly triggering a series of events that will test their love for each other and change their lives forever. Mwahahahaha! Rated For language and Lemonyness :
1. Episode BPOV

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within the story. All rights belon to Stephenie Meyer.

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I was sure I was about to make what would either be the defining moment or the biggest mistake of my already unbelievably, tragic teenage existence.

Pain seared in my chest and all I could think about was how the hole was slowly igniting and tearing around the edges.

I had to take this step. I had to move on. If I continued to cling to the past I would never recover from loosing Edward.

The burn in my chest flared as I thought of him. He was gone and had made it perfectly clear he would never return. He-didn't-want-me. There, I thought it, the memory that I had buried deep within my psyche, the thought that I had parcelled up nicely and crammed into the part of my brain that I only ever visited on my very darkest of days.

I had kidded myself. Edward had always been just out of reach, just too perfect, just too good for me. Now I was left to torment myself to near insanity with what ifs and what might have been.

Jacob quietly cleared his throat, bringing me back to reality. He had been more that generous with the time he made for me. Despite my denial of him, he was my best friend. I never once doubted that. His friendship was never in question, but could I let him be more than that? Would it be fair of me to take advantage of his generosity further?

Oh, I knew he wouldn't object, but could I bring myself to make empty promises to him. He was so innocent, so untouched by heart break and despair. Could I inflict those on him just to satisfy a morbid curiosity within myself? If I did it would be the end of our friendship.

Jacob wore his heart on his sleeve. It's a cliché, but with Jacob, what was in him always came out, it bubbled involuntarily to the surface. I knew well how he felt about me; I saw and experienced his attempts at blurring the friendship lines on a daily basis. But to let him, to allow the blurring just so I could feel better about myself, was so wrong on so many different levels. There would be no turning back; we would never be just Jake and Bells again.

All I had to do was decide. Would I be able to cope if things didn't work out; If my feelings for him didn't develop into something more than they were, and ultimately if he discovered this truth and decided that he deserved more than a rebound relationship?

Whatever followed would change us both, forever.

Jacob pulled over to the kerb and turned to face me.

"You sure you're going to be ok?" he asked gently. Worry creased his brow.

"Um...yeah, I'll be ok; I'm going to have a shower and try to get some sleep." I fiddled with the hem of the sweater Jacob had loaned me. My nerves were getting the better of me. I was lingering too long, I should have just said goodbye and got out the truck but my body was defying me.

"Bella," he whispered, "Please. Promise me you'll be ok. It's just...I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

I turned to him. "Jacob. I'm so sorry about the cliff jump. I was going to wait for you; I don't know what came over me. It wasn't intentional."

We sat in silence for a few moments. With every passing second the tension within me grew. My brain wanted me to get out of the truck and run, realising that Jacob and I had come to an impasse, while my body willed me to close the small gap between us and soak up every ounce of warmth it could from Jacob, not just the physical warmth but the spiritual warmth he emitted too.

I gave him a long look, my brain fighting my body for dominance, before turning away and opening the door. "I'll see you, okay?" Dropping my face towards the ground I heaved myself forward.

"Bella..." Before I could stop him, Jacob's hand was on top of mine pulling the door shut. He snaked his arm around my waist and hauled me close into his side. I turned to ask what the hell he was thinking, that's when I saw it, my own pain reflected in his eyes. Any ideas of telling him off evaporated immediately.

A darkness had settled into his eyes and his face had taken on a gauntness I had never seen on him before. The pain that radiated from within him momentarily frightened me. My mind skipped into overdrive trying to decipher the signs he was showing. Swallowing hard, Jacob rested his forehead on mine. His warm musky scent washed over me and I understood. This was it; this was why he'd been so quiet on the way here. He had been planning this, probably even before we got in the truck at La Push. He was going to go for it.

I closed my eyes and sighed out slowly. That was all it took for my mind to catch up and for me to make the decision to leave the truck, immediately.

I pulled out of his grip and pushed the heavy metal door wide and left so quickly I had to look around to get my bearings. It took a moment for Jacob to register that I'd left the truck. He quickly threw open the driver's door and jumped onto the gravel.

I pretended to ignore him and quickly headed towards the house. My efforts were in vain, he quickly caught up with me, grasping my elbow and spinning me on my heels.

"Jesus Bells, what's the hurry?"

"Jake...please... don't do this," I pleaded.

"Don't do this? " He bit his lower lip angrily. "Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't do this..." His voice turned petulant as he tightened his grip on my elbow. This was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

Even in anger Jacob was beautiful. Drops of rain flowed through his cropped hair, down his smooth forehead and into his dark brows. They made their journey across his cheek, falling from his jaw onto his chest, darkening his t-shirt further as they soaked into the fabric. I shifted my gaze towards his eyes, they pierced into my soul.

I knew what was coming.

The pain that lay behind them was evident. I didn't want to hurt him, but he was leaving me no option. I raised my hands to gently stroke his cheek, to try and wipe away the pain, a longing fire fell into his eyes, a reflection of how I had felt much too often over the past six months. If I followed through on this I could never go back. I loved him too much.

I was no stranger to the feelings that had momentarily betrayed him and I would never hurt him the way Edward had hurt me.

I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

His soft, full lips warmly brushed mine and a whole new type of torture went hurtling its way down the highway to my battered soul.

His hand found its way to the small of my back, I flinched at the heat, but his touch was feathery light. He gently entwined my hair with the other

The kiss began slowly, him resting his lips on mine. They were unbelievably soft.

Jacob swallowed hard and drew a breath so deep his lungs must have been a step away from bursting. Then, with his strategically placed hand, he brought me closer and enveloped me with his warm embrace. Our lips moved in tandem, first softly, then deeper with each passing breath. His tongue traced my lower lip, willing me to open up.

I let him in, drinking in his warmth. He was deliciously sweet. The taste of him doused the fire rimmed hole in my chest and left a completely new sensation in its place, a faint tremor that grew stronger as the kiss continued. I shook as my heart thumped in time with his, an unexpected, new sensation

This couldn't be _my_ Jacob. His recent growth spurt had definitely transformed him into a man overnight but where had he learned to kiss like this?

He was unrestrained. I had so wanted to kiss Edward like this, with passion and abandonment. I had been rejected every time I tried. With Jacob there would be no rejection.

Surrender or fight was my only choice now.

I raked my fingers into his hair and gently tugged. He scooped me up and I clung to him for dear life as the kiss started to become more than I'd intended. My body was ablaze, what had started as a smouldering kiss was quickly becoming an out of control inferno.

I wrapped my legs around his waist as he brought me to rest on the side of the truck. The growing pressure between us was intoxicating and delicious and dangerous. This was not the first time I'd lost composure with a kiss. This was the first time I'd lost composure with Jacob.

I was taking this too far, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. Jacob's breathing hitched and a growl rumbled deep within his chest.

"Shit Bella," he moaned, forcing the words through the kiss. "We've got to..." I could hear the torment in his voice, but still I held fast, testing his patience and restraint way too far. God what was wrong with me?

My mind screamed at me to get a grip. My body had other ideas.

"Bella please," he whispered, "this is killing me..."

With one hand he reached up and began prying my fingers from his hair. I knew the incredible kiss was coming to an end and I couldn't help but take his removal of me as absolute rejection. How could I have been stupid enough to let things get this far?

I was overcome with chagrin. The blood which had carried the tremors coursing through my veins betrayed me and pooled promptly around my usually pasty cheeks. Unable to bring myself to look at my friend, I opted to stare at the sidewalk.

"Bella, don't... I mean... please..." He was struggling to find the words to stem the flood that was about to happen.

Oh god, was I that obvious?

I could feel the burning rivers begin to cascade over the brim of my eyes. Jacob remained silent as I came to pieces before him.

I had really messed up our friendship.

"Jake, I'm... I'm... so sorry," I sobbed. "I... I thought this was what you wanted." I pulled away from him. My head started to swim and as I turned away. I quickly recognized the sensation in my head that indicated that I was heading towards the curb, face first.

Jacob caught me from behind and crushed me to his chest.

_Oh god this was worse than any scenario I had run through in my head_.

All this time I had been kidding myself that Jake really wanted me but now my brain was fighting to convince me that the emotion I had misread as love was pity.

_Poor Bella, poor, broken up, shot to shit, hung out to dry Bella_.

Sad thing is; my brains attempt at sarcastic self reflection was closer to the truth than I was prepared to admit aloud to anyone.

Jake began to tremble behind me, the ripples dancing through his forearms intensifying with every passing moment. I had to break free. I had to get away before he phased.

"Jake?" No more than a whisper escaped. "Jake... Let go!" His hold on me tightened. "For god sake Jake you're going to crush me! Please. Let. Me. Go!" Panic drenched my cry.

Suddenly, I stumbled free towards the tarmac, my hands flailing out as if to steady myself. I grasped the air as my sneakers found the grip I so desperately craved, beneath me.

I took off, sprinting like the lunatic that I was towards the safety of Charlie's front porch, I didn't dare look back.

I lurched up the steps tripping over my own feet, practically taking out the front door as I went; slamming it shut seemed the only way to claw back a shred of the dignity that I had lost. I jammed myself against the rough grain of the wood, heart thumping like a jack hammer, tears streaking down my face.

I'd done it this time, with one fell swoop I had obliterated the most important friendship that I had, my only reason for living now. I glanced from the tiny arch window at the top of the door, surveyed the devastation I had left behind.

The image I saw was heart breaking. The rain was battering down and in the middle of the street, where I left him, was Jake; on his knees, head in hands.


	2. Yep, you're an asshole! JPOV

**I have noticed that ther's quite a lot of you read my first chapter but I don't have many reviews. This makes me sad :(**

**This is my first fan fic I need to know if it's good or guff and by saying guff I meen rubbish**

**Reviews please peeps ;)**

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2

Yep, you're an asshole.

"Aw... Jake, you've really messed it up this time, stupid mutt!" I couldn't understand what had just happened, one minute she seemed like she was in a trance, I thought she was picking over the bones of the thing she'd had with the blood sucker, again, the next it was like she was looking at me in a whole new way. I hadn't been ready for that.

I _certainly_ hadn't been ready for the way she traced her eyes over my face and chest like she saw _me, she _saw _me!_ Like she actually wanted _me. _And I was amazed by how soft and cool her hands felt when she cupped my face; like the other side of the pillow on a hot summer night.

I knew what she'd find when she looked in my eyes; she'd find the desperate, goofy idiot that had hungered for her touch for the whole of the past year. But yet she let me lean into her, drop my mouth to hers, breathe in her intoxicating strawberry and jasmine scent and, _wow,_ how she reacted when I kissed her.

After a few moments I become all too aware of how things were playing out, the way this kiss was going, I was about to start to display all types of unsavory behavior, in the middle of this street, in broad daylight, across from her dad's place. He had guns.

It took all of my effort not to drag her into the near by woods and finish this kiss in a way both of us would regret. Especially when she had yanked at my hair. I'd always viewed Bella as being soft and rounded, no sharp edges, but this kiss was showing me a whole other side of her. I'd waited too long for this and I didn't want to mess it up so, to save both our dignity, I had to try to break the kiss before we both completely lost control.

That was when she looked at me as if I'd slapped her in the head. The tears had quickly sprung to her eyes, and only then did it dawn on me how truly fragile she was, that asshole had really done a number on her. I fumbled trying to find the right words that would make this okay. I saw the rejection in her eyes, no matter what I said now the damage was done.

What had started as the most perfect moment of my life now lay before me in tatters, I had royally messed this one up and it was looking as though I wasn't going to be getting a chance of a re-run. Bella, in her eagerness to escape this nightmarish situation, had almost fallen in a heap on the floor.

In return I had brutally crushed her into my torso cutting off her means of escape and, unwittingly, her source of oxygen. Then, to top it off; preoccupied with my efforts to save some shred of her trust I had begun to loose it myself and started to phase, almost terrifying the life right out of her. No wonder she ran away from me.

Wahoo! Way to go Jake!

I must have knelt there in the middle of the road for almost ten minutes, trying to figure how I could put this god awful mess right, trying to understand how this had gone so badly wrong when I heard the rustling coming from the woods. I shot a glance towards the noise; all the time hoping and praying it was some of the local wildlife, I should have known better; Leah stepped from the dense flora.

"You okay Jake?" I hated how her voice reeked of sympathy.

"How long have you been there Leah?"

"Long enough. I knew she'd do this to you, didn't I say as much?" I could hear the satisfaction seep into her tone.

A growl erupted from deep in my chest. "Leah if you value the flesh on your bones you will stop right there, I'm really not in the mood for I told you so,"

"Jake, you should know... you're flogging a dead one there, the blood sucker really did her over, you deserve better than his broken cast offs."

I didn't feel myself go this time, but I knew blood when I tasted it. Leah hadn't even had time to react and phase herself. I had her by the neck and now I was fighting off the urge to sink my fangs through her smooth amber skin, into her trachea and snuff her out. Full stop.

"Jake... please... don't," her voice trembled, "I just don't want to see you make the same mistakes I have with Sam," she squirmed beneath me, "I should have left when Emily came on the scene, but instead I've hung around, making the whole packs life miserable, hoping that one day he'd see sense, fight his instincts and come back to me"

I loosened my bite. She spoke the truth. I hadn't realized till now how closely my relationship with Bella reflected the one she now had with Sam, they had loved each other so much, and I knew how the bloody fallout of their emotions affected the pack mind. I phased back.

Leah sprung from the ground in one slick move.

"You ever try anything like that again Jake and I swear to god I'll kick your ass!" she ranted whilst wiping her thumb across the decreasing puncture wound in her neck.

"Yeah you think? So, what, you're saying you think I should leave?" I asked.

"Hell, no Jake. You know as well as I do that Sam would never allow it."

"Well what then?"

"All I'm saying is that maybe you should think about broadening your horizons; start to look around yourself Jake. You're a hot guy, you'll find someone else, jeez it's not as if you've even imprinted. Imagine if that were to happen after she fell in love with you, that'd really mess her up." Again, she was right.

We phased and headed back to the reservation. I didn't know how I was going to explain my reaction to Bella. She had been really offended that I had broken the kiss, but I couldn't tell her that I'd caused her so much humiliation because of my unruly hormones.

I still wasn't sure if I could keep myself from phasing under normal day to day situations never mind in a heightened state of excitement and I certainly didn't want to try to find the answer to that great unknown with Bella, she'd never look at me again, even if I didn't kill her. I would have to get a grip on the phasing thing under less stressful conditions before I even thought about going there.

"_Dude... please, don't take this the wrong way but, don't go there. It's not something you want to share, trust me."_ Leah interrupted my line of thought.

"_Well, get out of my head bitch!"_ I would have to try and find a way to block my thoughts when I was in wolf form.

"_Where the hell have you two been?"_ It was Sam.

"_What is it oh masterful one?"_ Leah could be sarcastic as hell.

"_We've had a visitor, you two get to my place right away, the others are making their way now."_

"_Okay boss, we'll be right there."_

Leah and I took off as fast as we could run. God she was fast, but I could take her. As we ran I could tell she was trying to get on top of her thoughts about Sam. For months we had been subject to her and Sam's most intimate moments in their relationship, but at least now she was trying to fill her head with random thoughts.

I edged ahead of her as we took the turn into Sam's back yard. She tried to snap at my hind legs, yeah, she was a really bad loser. As we ground to a halt I dug my claws into the ground and flicked out by back legs sending moss, leaves and dirt cascading over Leah's muzzle. We phased.

"Jake you're an a-hole, man." I snickered and shook my head as she tried to pick the mess out of her hair, as I passed her towards Sam's front door I ruffed her hair and poked her in the ribs for a bit.

"Ahem," Sam coughed, "whenever you two are finished messing about, we would like to get started."

Sam would never admit it, even though he had imprinted and was settled with Ems, he hated to see any of us getting too familiar with Leah, but he should have known better that to even think anything of her and me roughing each other up.

We entered Sam and Emily's tiny kitchen and found a space to stand.

oooOoOoOoOooo

It had been all quiet around here since the blood suckers had moved away so we had reduced our patrols around the Reservation and Forks, Paul had picked up an unfamiliar stench whilst patrolling the farthest reaches of our boundaries, we had all grew familiar to the stench of the Cullen's during the time they'd been in Forks. Paul swore; this was different.

"Now, it could be that one of their blood sucker buddies was paying them a visit unaware that they had taken off," Sam piped up, "but I really don't want to take the chance, we're upping patrols. Jake you take the north end of Forks, Jared you take the south, Quill, you and Embry, La Push and First Beach, Leah you're staying in La Push," Leah started to protest,but Sam cut her off, "we need to make sure our people are protected. Paul, you and I will run the perimeter."

Sam might be a kind of serious dude but he always knew how to play to the packs strengths. Keeping Leah in La Push though seemed a bit off, she was one of the fastest in the pack and vicious to a point, surely it made more sense to have her out on patrol and leave one of the guys to do the protecting. I didn't take it up with Sam. It's never good to undermine the alpha.

The way things were suited me anyhow. Bella's place was in the north end of forks. I could have a run round see if she was okay. I'd need to give her a bit more time though.

oooOoOoOoOooo

I had run around Forks for around three hours, picking up traces of the leeches scent here and there but never finding anything solid that I could call a trail. Sam was probably right it would have been one of their blood sucker buddies stopping by for a visit. I had probably over done the patrolling bit under the circumstances but at least I had given myself enough time to build up the courage to face Bella and get my story straight.

I finished off in the woods around the back of Charlie's, it was only around ten or eleven when I made my way into the yard at the side of their house. It looked like the place was in darkness, then again I could hear the TV booming away in the living room, Charlie must be watching the highlights of the game from earlier.

I listened for a few moments but I couldn't here any other sounds, apart from the odd groan from the central heating system, so I guessed Bella was already in bed. She wasn't that into sport so it was unlikely she would be watching TV with her Dad.

There was a tree in the side yard, its branches led to the window high up on the side of the house. I could climb up and see if she was still awake or reading. A tree like this posed no challenge for me to climb now.

When I reached the bedroom window I realized I had been wrong about the place being in darkness. I could see a dim light escaping from the edge of the blinds. Cool, she was awake.

I reached out to gently tap at the misty pane of glass that separated us. That's when I heard her. She was sobbing and gasping, really going for it. It stopped me dead in my tracks.

I was no better than him...


	3. The Push BPOV

**Again I own nothing, it all Belongs to Stephenie Meyer:( **

3

The push

"Bella...Bella?" It was Charlie again.

"Yeah?" I was still hiding under the heavy, purple quilt he had bought when I first arrived in Forks.

"It's Jake... again... on the phone."

Oh no, not again. What was it like the fourth time he'd called this morning? I really wasn't ready to face him yet.

"Tell him I'll call him back later." I lied.

I heard Charlie relay the message then mutter something about the game he'd watched on the flat screen when he'd got in from work last night. He still hadn't asked about the non dinner event but I was sure he was pretty worried. It wasn't often I neglected him but as he had recently discovered it was never a good sign when I did.

I was certain he had heard me sobbing last night. I hadn't caught the usual tired rhythm of his steps as he climbed the stairs to bed, but I did hear the creaky floorboard flex just outside my bedroom door followed by a heavy sigh. I had silenced myself instantly although I was sure it was too late, I had been caught out, wallowing in self pity.

The night that had followed was marginally worse than before. The nightmares had returned, only now there were a few new darker twists to them. The one that had eventually made me wake up was the worst one yet.

_The dark emptiness was there as usual. I felt like clawing my insides out, to finally rid myself of the searing ragged whole in my chest. Light started to materialize on what I assumed was the horizon as it became lighter I realized I was on the cliff edge. _

_I felt the urge to run towards it and fly again, to feel the freedom I had before. With bare feet I broke into a sprint, my hair flaring out behind me as I gained speed. The icy northern breeze shot through the sun dress the dream version of me was wearing. I felt alive, real somehow. Then it changed._

_My legs grew heavy as if bound to the ground by rubber belts, every step sending shots of pain though my thighs. I struggled to move forward, aching for the lightness of step I had just experienced. I glanced towards the ground and identified the reason for my sluggishness. _

_Thick black mud up to my calves was pulling me down, sucking me into the unknown. Panic flared up my spine as I frantically searched for something to grasp onto. With the tips of my finger I caught some ivy vines and I begun to pull myself out of the bog, but it wouldn't let me go I turned to find the problem, and then the hands appeared, almost flayed to the bone, searching for me, tearing at my ankles, trying to pull me into the earth where I would be condemned to death. _

_But I wasn't ready to die. I clung on to the ivy, convinced it was my savior. Even as my palms begun to bleed and my nails begun to tear, I still held on, fighting, pulling and trying to escape._

_I broke free and sprinted again only this time it wasn't that I really wanted to get to the cliff edge, but I had to get away from the thing in the bog. As I gaped over my shoulder, looking for some supernatural being climbing from the mud, I bashed into an unseen barrier between the cliff edge and me. _

_I turned to look at what I'd crashed into. It was Jacob, only it didn't smell or feel like Jacob. Gone was the woodsy musk and in its place was something far more familiar, a sweet and heady scent that I knew only too well. As I reached out to maneuver myself behind him a shock coursed through my hand where it met his skin. He was rock hard and ice cold. _

_He turned to look at me, his face hardened, his mouth pulled into a sneer, eyes dead. I screamed "What is it? What's wrong?" I was desperate for the safety of the Jacob I knew. All that stood between him and the ocean cliffs was me._

_He snickered, raised his hands to my shoulders and pushed with all his force..._

I woke up flailing around on my bed trying to stop myself from crashing onto rocks, screaming silently as if still in the nightmare. It took a moment or two for me to realize that I was awake. The sweat made my hair cling to my forehead. My throat, which was still raw from the salt water the day before ached from the soundless scream.

I searched in the dim light of my bedroom for my trusty alarm clock, 7.04 it read. I turned my attention to the ceiling, trying to make out the patterns in the plaster. I had to calm down, my breathing was ragged and my heart was thumping against my ribs. At this rate I wouldn't see nineteen; my heart would give out one way or another.

I had to do something. I couldn't go on this way hanging on to any guy who showed an interests words. I didn't know what that something was though.

Charlie must have finished his conversation on the phone with Jake; I could hear his foot falls on the stairs. He knocked on the door to my room.

"Yeah?" I murmured.

"Bells, can I have a minute?" He wanted to talk, he _never_ wanted to talk.

"Yeah, come in." I pulled the covers over my head.

The door creaked open and Charlie poked his head round the door "Bella, what gives?"

"I dunno what you're talking about Dad," I said flatly.

"Oh... okay... so no dinner last night, midnight crying and you in your bed till noon has nothing to do with Jake acting like he's a serial stalker, huh?"

"Dad, you really wanna talk about this?" I knew Charlie too well. This was deep for him.

"Probably not, but I hate to see you so down, you keep too much to yourself, spend too much time on your own."

He was right, only now the company I kept was out of my control. I pretty much had no friends left in Forks now. The only true friends I thought I had had abandoned and rejected me. And I couldn't blame them.

"Anyways, I told Jake that if you hadn't called him in an hour he should just come over."

"You what? Dad, I really don't feel up to seeing Jake today, not like this." I flapped the quilt back and pointed to my eyes, they were still red and puffy from last nights break down.

"You two fell out?"

"Sort of." There was no 'sort of' to it. I had killed off the one remaining friendship I had.

"Well, if I were you Bells I'd sort it out. Jacob's a good guy, he's looked after you, he's crazy about you."

"See, that's where you're wrong Dad."

"Bella, give the guy a break." I could hear the authority of his tone. This might work with the local 'yahoo's' but not me.

"I think I'm better informed about Jake to know whether he deserves a break or not." I blasted.

"Bella I'm serious, cut him some slack." Charlie had made up his mind; Jake was blameless in this 'fall out.'

"Yeah...whatever." I rose from my bed, my legs aching from my dip in the ocean yesterday, stomped past Charlie and headed for the bathroom. If I had to see Jake, then I would be trying to regain some of my dignity.

I threw the door shut; it vibrated in its frame. A shower it would have to be, hopefully the hot water would relieve some of my aches and calm me down a bit. I would have to put on some cosmetics to try and cover up my puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks. It wasn't something I would do ordinarily, but I realized the crying damage was pretty bad this morning.

The steam belched up when the hot water hit the cold cast tub. It reminded me of the atmospheric mist from my nightmare. I striped and stepped in the hot water made my scalp tingle and itch; it scorched my shoulders and burned crimson valleys down my back.

I considered jumping out and turning the temperature down, but what the hell I'd had worse, anyhow it was managing to distract me from Jakes imminent arrival. I'd take my time with this shower. I was in no rush to face him.

I washed my hair through twice and then reached for the conditioner. I was going all out to smell like a strawberry. I followed this with some body scrub, paying particular attention to the patches of dry skin that were appearing on the palms of my hands and soles of my feet. I'd need to put some Vaseline on them, they were really bad. A gash had started to appear on the side of my index finger and the tips of my fingers were sore and split.

I shut of the water and stepped onto the lino floor tiles. I realized that in my temper I had forgotten to fetch a towel from the closet. The only thing that might dry me was the hand towel I had placed beside the bathroom sink the last time I'd cleaned. It would be a stretch but I had to try.

I could hear Charlie moving around down stairs, probably searching for something to eat for lunch, most likely settling for a can of soup and some bread. I heard the muffled knock on the front door. Oh... I balked, the panic rose in my chest and my legs began to fizz.

Charlie opened the front door and spoke. I couldn't make out what was said, but from the lightness of the conversation I was sure it was Jake. I wanted to run away and hide, but that wouldn't aid my cause with the dignity and everything, besides I was now trapped in the bathroom with a hand towel as an aid to maintaining my modesty.

I really didn't fancy putting my old sweaty pajamas back on. I grabbed the lid from the laundry hamper and tucked the hand towel under my chin so it covered my front. _Shit._ I was going to have to make a run for it.

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	4. Ok, so it's gonna be like this? JPOV

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4

OK, so it's gonna be like this?

I had spent all night lying under Bella's bedroom window, listening to her try to sleep, every now and then her breathing would speed and then hitch up in her throat; sometimes it stopped altogether for a few moments. Those were the times I found it most difficult to stay put and not burst through her bedroom window.

If anyone in the world was capable of dying of a broken heart then I was sure it was Bella. I'd seen her try to hold herself together over the past few months. It was painful to watch. I'd only added to that pain with my insensitive handling of last nights events.

I'd made my way back to La Push at around four am. I needed to try and have a semi comfortable sleep and have a shower before I could face the day, before I could face Bella.

When I woke at around nine Billy was parked out on the front porch, dressed head to toe in black. It was Harry Clearwater's funeral today. Paul was standing close beside him, they seemed deep in conversation. Sam and the rest of the guys were passing the large oak tree next to my workshop.

Sam nodded in greeting, "You not ready yet, Jake?"

"Dude I'm just up let me grab a shower and get awake. What time's the funeral anyhow?" I questioned.

"Two thirty over at Sues," he shot back.

"You're a bit early then?" That was like over five hours away.

"Yup, your Dad wanted us to come over, discuss all the details and maybe have a think about who might take Harry's place on the council." I turned to look at Billy.

"Dad, Harry isn't even in the ground yet and you're already giving away his seat?"

"Jake it's not how it looks; Harry filled an important role, a role _we_ can't afford to be unfilled. Especially with this whole vampire thing going on," he defended.

"What whole vampire thing? We checked all over the Olympic peninsula last night, I thought we agreed it was one of them just passing through." It was Paul who replied.

"We were wrong; Leah left the reservation last night to look for you after we had all returned. On her way to Forks she picked up a strong trail just off the highway. She followed it for a while. The way she described it, I think the trail led to that place where we saved Bella from the French leach that day. She thinks it must have backtracked because there was no trail leading out of the place."

"It must have led somewhere right?" I was confused, they couldn't fly.

"Nope, just like it dropped out of the sky, the trail begun at the edge of the highway, and ended in the clearing." Leah answered as she and Seth approached the Porch.

"How come I'm only hearing about this now?" I asked feeling a bit pissed.

"Jake, you've got enough on your plate right now." She raised her eyebrow.

"Hmm... Yeah... right." I shot her a glare as I clawed at my head.

Sometimes being a wearwolf was the best. This was not one of these times. I'd let my mind wander when we had been running back to La Push and a then again whilst patrolling last night. I made my excuses and headed for the bathroom.

_I should call her_. I stopped by the kitchen on my way and picked up the receiver. _What if she picked up the phone? What if... no one answered? What if... she did answer and told me to get stuffed? What was I going to say anyhow? What if... _enough! For god sake Jake it's only Bella.

I dialed the number. It rang a few times. I was ready to hang up when I heard the phone click.

"Hello?" it was Charlie.

"Hey Charlie, can I speak to Bella please?"

"I would say yeah Jake but she's still in bed yet, but as soon as she's awake I'll get her to call you." Charlie sounded like he was a bit harassed.

"That's okay, I'll call back later"

"Your Dad all set for Harry's funeral this afternoon?"

"Yeah just about, I think"

"I'm sure Sue really appreciates what he's doing, what with Harry and your Dad being old friends."

Billy had helped Sue prepare a traditional Quileute funeral for Harry and had organized a get together around a bonfire tonight so everyone could pay tributes and tell stories about the times they remembered with him. It had hit Billy pretty hard Harry's passing; he was only a few years older than Dad.

"Yeah I'm sure she does, anyhow I better go, let Bella know I'll call back."

"Sure will Jake, see you later."

I hung up the phone and continued my journey towards the shower. It wasn't like Bella to be in bed until this time. I knew it was early but on the days when she visited the reservation she'd always managed to catch me in bed, snoring my head off. This was late for her.

I jumped into the shower and turned the temperature dial as far as it would go, it didn't make any difference, the way my body temperature was just now everything felt either cold or lukewarm; I grabbed the first bottle that came to my hand and squeezed a puddle of the liquid into my palm. I relaxed a little as the water run over me then I played through the events of yesterday afternoon in my mind.

The terror that had taken over when I realized Bella was in the ocean yesterday seemed a lifetime away now. Hadn't she realized the danger she was putting herself in? She had such a sweet soul I couldn't believe she'd try to harm herself, she would never do that to Charlie or her mom, but she'd been so down; almost as if she was stuck in a waking nightmare, the way she grasped at her torso as if to hold herself together. I

t was difficult to stand it. I wanted be the one to hold her together, I wanted to be the one to strengthen her. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do to make her whole again. Even if it meant me begging for her forgiveness and swearing a lifetime of servitude. If that's what it took then that's what she would get.

I shut off the shower, wrapped a towel round my waist and headed for the closet in my bedroom. I stopped briefly to call her again, I'd spent half an hour or so in the shower, she was sure to be up now...

No... I was wrong, Charlie answered again. He asked if it was urgent and I said it wasn't.

I needed to get dressed anyhow, so I headed towards my room. This was certainly going to be the most challenging task of the day so far. I somehow had to try and find some black to wear for the funeral, not difficult considering almost all the clothing I owned was black, but what with the reduced wardrobe due to uncontrolled phasing and the whole trying to extract clothes from the closet of doom without it emptying its entire contents onto A. The floor or B. Me, you could see why it would be a challenge. I pulled on the handle with my left hand whilst tying to get my right hand into the closet far enough so as to stem the avalanche. It seemed secure enough so I pulled the door open.

It was my turn this time. The contents collapsed on top of me. _Damn it_. I eventually found a plain black tee shirt and jeans, I got dressed then tried to cram the rest of the junk that had fallen out back into the closet, having to use my whole weight to jam the door shut. I really needed to do something about that, there was stuff in there that I had played with as a kid.

When I got back in the living room there was nowhere to sit, Sam, Paul, Embry, Quill, Leah and Seth were there filling every seat and spilling onto the floor. Leah looked pretty rough her eyes were all puffy and swollen, Seth just kept his eyes on the floor, poor kid he really could have been doing with his dad around right now, it might have helped him to get to grips with the transformation he was going through.

Billy was holding court. From the kitchen I could here plates clunking together, I stuck my head round the door. It was Emily; she was cooking up a huge breakfast in two huge pans. I don't know how she did it but she always managed to make something out of nothing. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey Jake, you ready for some food?" her gentle nature shone through in her voice.

"Am I ever not ready for food?"

"I guess not," she giggled, "where's your little shadow today anyhow; I thought she was almost living here these days?"

"Not today." I pressed my lips together, raised my eyebrows and shoved my hands deep into my pockets.

"You wanna tell me about it?" Emily was always very intuitive, she was also very discrete. I could tell her about what happened and I knew she wouldn't tell a soul. Not even Sam. I hitched myself on to the worktop close to where she had prepared the food. She listened whilst I told her the story in between mouthfuls of bacon and eggs.

"Jake I know how hard this is for you but Bella's been through a really tough time, a tougher time than any of us probably realize, you shouldn't take her reaction personally. She's really messed up god you only need to look at her to know that. Anyhow I don't think you really want to end up being the rebound guy, do you?"

"No, but I really miss her when she's not around." That was an understatement, I felt like I had lost a limb when she wasn't around; I was in agony when she wasn't around.

"Have you tried to call her yet?"

"Twice," I replied.

"Well what are you waiting for call her again, whilst this lot are busy eating." She jabbed her thumb towards the living room and handed me the phone.

oooOooOooOooo

She was still in bed. This time Charlie seemed a little pissed when I called. I could see why, I'd called three times in the last two hours I was starting to feel like a stalker. I'd give her another half hour.

I found an empty patch on the floor to sit; everyone was listening intently as Billy spoke about the council and what the position called for. I tried really hard to pay attention and listed to what was being said but my thoughts kept wandering back to Bella, it was getting close to noon. She never slept this late, _I wonder if Charlie's checked on her this morning_.

I gnawed at my thumb nail and shot glances out the window. Some survival program was bumming away on the TV, I tried to tune in for a few minutes. I was pretty sure whatever Sam and the guys were talking about was important but I just couldn't take it in, my head felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool, Bella shaped balls of cotton wool. _Maybe I should go over, check on her my self_.

Emily entered the living room and weaved her way through the bodies taking up space on the floor; she sat on the arm of the chair behind me and quietly nudged me on the side of the head with the cordless phone.

"Again," was all she said whilst she stuffed the last of her toast into her mouth. It was all she had to say, I was agitated beyond belief and the others were beginning to notice. I took the phone and stepped through the front door on to the porch. If she wasn't up now I was headed straight over there.

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	5. Rescued BPOV

**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**This chapter was specially Written for: pattyofurniture, tigger5600**

**Preciousfairymom and RinaEvangeline. Thanks for the inspiration guys. :)**

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5

Rescued

I looked towards the sweaty pajamas lying on the floor again, I really didn't want to go there but... I grabbed the bottoms. _Damn it._ The spray from the shower had soaked them through. Sweaty I could handle at a push but wet and soggy. Yuck. I stuffed them in the laundry hamper and edged the door open and listened for a moment, butterflies bashing about inside me.

Charlie and Jake seemed to have made their way into the living room. I could hear them muttering over the drone of the TV. The coast was clear. Okay. All I had to do was cross the hall at high speed. The bathroom door creaked tiredly as I assessed the route I was about to dash.

There were a couple of hazards standing in my way, the lamp table, a pair of boots, a pile of Charlie's clean laundry I had left there the morning before, nothing out of the ordinary. I made a run for it and unbelievably I didn't trip, fall over or stub my toe, success! I reached for the door handle and gave it a twist.

Nothing happened, I twisted again, nothing happened. _Open the door Bella, _my mind screamed. I dropped the towel and grasped the knob with both hands and twisted it hard to the right, and then left, _nothing was happening_! I bashed against the door with my shoulder, _as if that was going to do anything._

Oh no, oh no, oh no, I could hear someone moving around in the living room.

"Yeah Jake, help yourself, they're in the cupboard above the kitchen sink."

"Thanks Charlie."

_Boots, I can hear boots making their way in this direction._

I took a few steps back and with all the strength I had I took a run at the door, slamming myself against it. Nothing happened. _Arghhh!!!_

The Boots had stopped. I turned around; I had to make my way back to the bathroom.

There, at the bottom of the stairs was Jake, mouth hanging open, staring at the crazy naked lady that had moments ago been throwing herself against a door. I stood frozen to the spot and clasped my breasts, glaring at him for a moment as if to stop his eye's from wandering.

"Hey, Jake," I barked. He shook himself out of his stupor and dropped his eyes to the floor, his face flushed scarlet.

"Bella," he acknowledged then turned stiffly and made his way towards the kitchen.

I entered the bathroom. '_So much for clawing back some dignity' _I thought, thumping my head against the door.

Jake made sure Charlie came to my rescue. He had knocked at the door, brought me a towel from the linen cupboard and fixed the handle of my bedroom door. The only thing I knew he could never fix was my bruised ego.

Jake had not reacted as I would have imagined. He'd been bashful. I would have put him down as being the type of guy that whooped at seeing a sliver of female flesh. Maybe I'd put him into shock. I giggled at this thought. The image of the gaping Jacob flashed into my head again.

The giggling started to get out of control. _Jeez Bella get a grip the guy's just seen you naked. _Something about his reaction made the events from the last few minutes a lot less embarrassing than they should have been. Talk about an ice breaker.

Once I had gotten the hysterics under control I left the bathroom and made my way across the hall. My bedroom door was lying open. I closed it behind me. What was I going to do? I should be curled up in a ball in the corner or something, my chagrin knew new heights.

I opened the closet door and fished out a pair of black pants and a black blouse and got dressed, then I turned my attention back to the burning red holes that had replaced my eyes, they were very bad, _perhaps I should just wear sun glasses._

"Bella? I need to go now, Jakes _still_ waiting." Charlie called from the foot of the stairs, obviously oblivious to my encounter with Jake only a few moments ago.

"I'll be right down, dad." here goes, this was it. I pulled my hair to the side and wove it into a thick braid then pulled on my socks and shoes and steadied myself for what was about to follow.

oooOooOooOooOooo

Jake was sitting at the kitchen table, rigid. I held my arms tight to my sides and clenched my hands into fists, the joints cracking with tension. He glanced up to look at me briefly, his eyes burned under his deep brows. I drew my eyes away and went to fetch a glass of water. The silence was deafening.

"You okay Jake?" I asked flatly.

"Um... no, not really Bella." His eyes raked over my face.

"'sup?" W_here the hell did that come from?_ I was making this more difficult for him than it needed to be.

"You're joking, right? Don't you think we need to talk about what happened last night?" Torture was written all over his face.

"Yeah, sorry Jake, your right we do, I'm being an ass." He stood up and maneuvered his large frame around the table towards me.

"Bella, if anyone's an ass it's me. You totally caught me out of the blue and I didn't know how to handle that -well- as you know," he lowered his eyes to look at me again "I didn't handle it."

"Jake... I took advantage of you. I wasn't thinking straight, it must have been shock or something from the cliff jump. I regretted it as soon as..." I let my words trail off. What the hell was I saying? I didn't regret anything about the kiss. The only thing I regretted was reacting like I did. The kiss I'd had with Jacob was the first time in more than six months that I'd felt alive. What I was saying now was only going to only achieve one thing, hurt for Jake. I looked up, he hadn't missed it. The pain was back in his eyes.

"You regretted it?" he growled, his eyes narrowed and the sneer I hated so much made it's self present. "Was it really that bad?" He glared at me. I turned back towards the sink.

"Jake, that wasn't what I meant and you know it." I retorted. I heard him turn and head for the door.

"Jake, I only regret putting you in that position," I explained softly "It was unfair of me to use you like that, I'm a mess, you don't need that." The tears sprung to my eyes and I dropped my face to into my hands.

I felt Jakes warm embrace envelop me from behind. There was silence for a moment. "You should know," he breathed in my ear, "I don't regret any part of it." Tingles shot down my spine, "And what's more, I'd do it again...in a heartbeat." His whisper was like silk on silk. My legs began to tremble beneath me.

I tried to scramble my thoughts together. _What was the deal? Hadn't he had enough of my crazy antics over the last 24 hours?_

I gently pulled away to turn and look at him. "Jake, what I did to you yesterday was unforgivable. I never meant to spring on you like that; I just wanted to see how it would feel, to kiss you, to have you hold me." I was starting to ramble again.

"And?" he asked. I had to be careful.

" It was great. Better than great, it was fantastic." S_crew careful this was not time for telling lies. It was fantastic._

"Well, what's the problem then?" he said, slipping his hand around to the small of my back and pulling me closer.

I rested my hands on his chest. "Jake, there's things you don't know about me, things I haven't told you, things that make me question my sanity from time to time."

"Bella," he replied. "You know you can tell me anything, there isn't anything about me you don't know."

"I'm worried that what I tell you might hurt you." O_r frighten you away, _I thought to myself.

Jake looked thoughtful, as if trying to solve a difficult problem. "Look, if your not up to telling me at the moment just promise me that this _is_ a conversation we will have." He knew too well that if he made me promise I'd never go back on it.

"I promise." I said crossing my heart like a seven year old.

He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and lingered there for a moment. He took a deep breath. "So, where does this leave us?"

"I don't know Jake."

"How about we just take it slowly then? You tell me whenever I'm close to crossing the line, and I'll tell you whenever you get close to crossing mine." He chuckled quietly.

"Yeah, right," I giggled. "Like _you've_ got a line"

"Whatcha tryin' to say woman?"

"Jake, you're a dog" I laughed

"Only _you_ know me well enough to know that I'd never take offense to that, Bells." He drew me in for a hug and then broke it with a tickle.

"Anyways," he drew a lung full of air. "Billy's organized a bonfire tonight as a sort of celebration of Harry's life, it's a kind of traditional thing you know, campfire tales and stuff, hey you could sing some campfire songs, weren't you a girl scout or something when you were younger?"

"A girl scout? You think?" What was he trying to get at?

"Yeah well you had to get the survival skills from somewhere." I could see he was suppressing laughter.

"Jake, what are you on about?" I was confused and frankly, becoming a little irked.

"Yeah, your super survival skills you were displaying at the top of the stairs earlier." He dissolved onto a hooting mess.

I was sure my face surpassed scarlet this time. He'd caught me out. I slapped him playfully on the arm. "Thanks for reminding me, though your face was priceless I've got to say." That shut him up. He looked at me intently.

"Would you like to be my 'date' to Harry's wake Bella?" He used his fingers to display quotation marks when he said the word date.

"I don't suppose it would do any harm," I teased. "But no more talk of the crazy naked lady from earlier, or I will sing." That was something no one wanted.

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	6. Don't even say it I know, I know JPOV

**A little note just to let you know it might be a few day's until I'm able to post again, family and work commitments to considder :)But you should know that when i'm not writing the next chapter i'll be thinking about what to put in it :) so here's and extra long one, just to keep you guy satisfied over the coming days. It's a little different from the others and the language is quite a bit stronger than before. I had great fun writing it, hope you all have great fun reading it. Let me know what you think. ;)**

**Stephenie Meyer owns it blah blah blah......**

6

Don't even say it, I know, I know.

I'd jumped into the Rabbit about five seconds after I got off the phone to Charlie, An hour? There was no way I was waiting an hour, He'd given me the green light to go over there and nothing was going to hold me back. I turned the key in the ignition. Nothing. _What the hell_? I'd only just replaced the solenoid the day before yesterday. This thing was starting to cost me a fortune. I popped the bonnet and jumped out to go take a look. I couldn't see what the problem was initially, then I caught a strong smell of gasoline,_ the fuel filter_, now this was not an expensive job but it was time consuming and time was something I didn't have. I strode back into the house. Emily noticed my face was like thunder, but she didn't mention it as I headed towards the kitchen sink. My hands were thick with engine oil. I poured dish soap onto them and called on Emily to help me pour some sugar on them.

"What's up Jake? You're shaking" her voice was thick with concern.

"The god damned rabbits having a bad hair day" I let the frustration roll off me.

"What's the issue? you don't need the rabbit to get to Forks"

"I _was_ going to give Bella a ride back to La Push if she was coming to the funeral, give us some time to talk you know? I don't think even she would be enthusiastic about jumping on my back and riding me like the donkey derby" Emily disintegrated into fits of laughter "Beside I wanted to get there pretty quickly. Charlie told me it was ok to come over." She poured a heap of the sugar into my hands and I begun to scrub at the oil, I turned to face the sink.

"Just calm yourself down for a moment or your going to phase yourself right out of those clothes, that would set you back what? Half an hour?" She was right. I wanted to get over there before Bella could call with some reason for me not to. "Take the pickup it's more reliable than the rabbit even on one of its good days" Emily handed me the key's as she called to Sam "Jake's taking the pickup over to Forks, I need him to pick up some groceries and the rabbits playing up ok?" Emily was well aware of the hard time the guys would give me if they knew I was ditching them to go see Bella, especially when they were trying to discuss important tribe business. She shot me a wink "now go, you owe me one" then she turned towards the sink full of dishes that were awaiting her attention.

oooOooOooOooOooo

The weather was unusually sunny for April, not that we hadn't had our fair share of rain; this was the first dry day for almost three weeks. Billy would have good weather for tonight's bonfire. I pulled into the narrow street and headed up the hill towards Bella's place.

I hadn't noticed the nerves before, but now they were really starting to kick in. I felt myself flush fiery hot _uh oh, calm down, count to ten: one..., two..., three..., four..._ my skin prickled and puckered, I had to pull over. _Five..., six..., seven...,_the high pitched ringing started to sound in my ears sending a searing pain into my temples, _deep breaths Jake, in and out, in and out_. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, the ringing in my ears settled to a deafening roar. This was what it was like, I was going to phase before I even saw Bella. _Eight..., nine..., ten..._ nothing was working. I felt the tears well in my eyes. I was so out of control, how could I ever trust myself_ not_ to hurt her. I felt the hair slowly begin to emerge through my skin, the muscles in my arms flexing and rippling, pushing it out, it was torture. If I was going to have to be the beast then I was going to have to suffer for it. I bumped my head onto the steering wheel, resigning myself to my fate.

Then. It passed as quickly as it had begun, like someone flicked a switch. I had never before been able to stop a phase once it had gotten that far. The sweat beaded on my forehead and my breath was ragged. _What the hell just happened?_ I pealed my fingers off the steering wheel, _well that's fucked_; there were deep finger gouges in it. I checked myself out in the rear view mirror, the tracks the tears had taken stained my cheeks with salty residue and my forehead glistened. I drew my arm across my face and lay my head against the rest, a sigh escaped from my chest.

After spending a few moments staring at the head cloth I shoved the stick into first and pulled back onto the street only to pull back over in front of Bella's. I threw on the hand break and looked at the little white house in front of me, in my head I tried to anticipate which of the scenario's I had been imagining all morning was going to play itself out in the next few moments. The truth was I had no idea. I took a deep breath, jumped out of the truck and made my way up to Charlie's front door via the brick pathway. I knocked on the rough brown wood and waited. It was Charlie who answered. _Thank you god._

"Hey Jake, come in"

"Thanks... she up yet?" I asked.

"In the shower, might be a while" he waved his hand "you got sisters, you know what there like" Charlie directed me towards the living room. "You catch the game last night?" baseball was Charlie's favourite topic. I was about to disappoint him.

"Nah... I was hanging out at First Beach with Quill and Embry, who was playing anyhow?" Charlie looked at me as if my head was on backwards.

"Braves and Dodgers" he continued to look at me with his eyebrows raised in confusion.

"right... I forgot, and...eh... who won?" _I should know the answer to this_.

"Dodgers, 6-2" he huffed.

"Man that sucks" I replied. In all honesty I couldn't care less who won, but it was the response Charlie was looking for.

"Yeah tell me about it" He picked up the remote and stared to surf the channels. "So you gonna tell me about the fallout, or am I just gonna have to use my imagination?"_Oh. Shit._

"Fallout?"I was going to have to bluff my way out of this one. I was certain Bella hadn't told him about last night. She had told me how he had squirmed this one time when he had asked her if she was interested in any of the local boys. _He must be fishing for info_, _well he ain't getting it here._ "uh... you've lost me" I lied.

"Jake, I like you kid, but after a few months of watching Bella try to get over that asshole Cullen, almost destroying herself in the process I need you to know this" he shook his head as if trying to expel the memories "Be careful. If you hurt her, intentionally or otherwise, I will hunt you down" I almost had to grab myself by the balls to stop myself from laughing in his face but I knew where he was coming from. A laugh rumbled deep in his chest "Just kiddin... I know _you'd never_ hurt her anyway" he looked me straight in the eye._ Warning noted._ She was the only Bella for him too.

I didn't need to respond to his warning; the look on my face must have said it all. I sat there in stunned silence for a few moments, images of different and inventive ways Charlie would find to 'hunt me down' dancing through my mind. The tension in the air was unbearable I had to find a way to escape for a few moments or I was going to start reacting to it. Again.

"is it ok if I go fetch myself a glass of water Charlie?" he had turned his attention back to the TV.

"yeah sure" he didn't brake his gaze.

"where do you keep your glasses?"

"They're in the cupboard above the kitchen sink" he continued to stare at the screen.

"Thanks Charlie" he didn't respond this time.

I turned and made my way through the arch that separated the living room from the hallway and moved towards the kitchen. As I entered the hall the scent of hot strawberries hit me like a brick wall. There it was; Bella's smell. I was overcome in an instant, my mind reeling back to the kiss we had shared yesterday, that beautiful, perfect, hot kiss. My thoughts were disrupted by a loud banging noise coming from the top of the stairs. Startled, I looked up to see the source.

You could have gouged my eyes out with a white hot fire iron there and then and I swear to god, I would never forget the image I registered at that moment. Bella in all her glory throwing herself against her bedroom door, and she was perfect. I was rooted to the spot, unable to move or form a coherent thought. I just stared taking in her form. Tiny as she was, she had perfect proportions. Her legs were lithe and the muscles defined, her butt smooth and round, dimples on either side where it met her back, her damp hair fell to just above her waist, I could see the outline of her soft shoulders through it. _If you turn around I will die_ _here and now._ Then she did and I wished I could.

"Hey. Jake" she barked.

_Hey. Jake? How am I supposed to respond to that?_ Panic shot through me like fire. Bella stared as if daring me to look down. I knew if I did that it was game over for me, the tent that I had smuggled in here in my pants was going to pitch with or without my help. I dropped my eyes to the floor.

"Bella" _Jeez idiot, is that the best you can do? _Then it pitched. I quickly headed for the kitchen.

_Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuck. I _pressed myself hard against the kitchen cupboard_. Please. Go. Down... Please... not here, not now. _I was overcome with despair. This was the only thing worse than me phasing right in the middle of Charlie's living room. If he came through here now I was getting shot in the head for sure . Regenerating werewolf or not that was going to hurt.

oooOooOooOooOooo

I drained the glass empty of water four times before I could consider returning to the living room. When I did Charlie was still surfing through the channels.

"Charlie, I think Bella might be needing your help, I heard her calling from the bathroom" I lied

Charlie rose from his chair, handed me the TV remote and stomped up the stairs. I flicked through the channels for a few minutes then flung it back on his seat.

Once Charlie had helped Bella out he returned to the living room. He lifted the tie and jacket from the back of the lounger. "Jake I'm gonna have to head off in a few minutes, I promised your dad I would stack the wood for the bonfire tonight, Bella's getting dressed just now. I know I don't need to tell you to stay down here..." he didn't finish his statement, he didn't need to.

"I get it Charlie, I wont be going anywhere" _Apart from into hiding._

"I'll giver her a shout, let her know I'm leaving." He turned towards the foot of the stairs. "Bella? I need to go now" he turned to look at me "Jakes _still_ waiting".

_You should just get up and leave now numb nut_, luck was certainly not on my side this week, I had successfully embarrassed Bella not once, but twice, I had broke Sam's truck, nearly broke Charlie's cupboard door and made the biggest ass of my self ever. Now there was nothing more for me to do than wait for the icing on the cake. _Bring it_.

oooOooOooOooOooo

I waited for Bella for a while in the living room looking at all the photo's Charlie had placed on the walls of when Bella was only little, her long dark curls were her trade mark. I scanned the walls some more, a baby picture caught my eye, even then she had a mop of black hair. I moved towards the window and I caught sight of somewhere I knew very well, it was the reservation. In the middle of the picture were two small children, jet black hair, covered from head to toe in thick brown mud, hugging each other and smiling insanely at the camera. One was Bella for sure; I could tell from the curls, the other was a smaller boy with crazy white teeth. I studied it for a moment. As I did the memory of a child's voice sprung to my mind "forever Bells". It was the promise I had made to her when we were little. I would love her forever. The boy in the picture was me. I scanned it thoroughly, at the edge of the picture I could see a woman, my mother. For the second time today tears welled in my eyes. I had suppressed this memory for years. It was the day we made mud pies at La Push. My mom had died just a few short weeks later. I could hardly remember anything of my childhood from then until I was about thirteen.

I pulled myself away from the photo and headed towards the kitchen. As I sat at the table, I became aware of light footsteps coming down the stairs and along the hall way before stopping lightly behind me. _Here goes_. My pose stiffened in the chair. I raised my eyes slowly to meet hers.

"You ok Jake?" there was no emotion in her voice.

"Um... no, not really Bella" I wasn't going to start lying now.

"'sup?" she blurted. W_hat the fuck? Keep cool Jake._

"You're joking right... Don't you think we need to talk about what happened last night?" I stared at her in disbelief.

"Yeah, sorry Jake, your right we do, I'm being an ass" I stood up and moved towards her, she wasn't going to taking the blame for this.

"Bella, if anyone's an ass it's me. You totally caught me out of the blue and I didn't know how to handle that...well...as you know" I looked down into her deep brown eyes "I didn't handle it."

"Jake... I took advantage of you. I wasn't thinking straight, it must have been shock or something from the cliff jump. I regretted it as soon as..." _here it comes. _I closed my eyes trying to block out the sight of her mouth saying the words. She didn't finish the sentence.

"you regretted it?" _there it was..._ "was it really that bad?" she refused to look me in the eye.

"Jake that wasn't what I meant and you know it" _screw it... I don't want to put myself through this. _I turned and walked towards the door.

"Jake I only regret putting you in that position" I could hear the grief in her voice "it was unfair of me to use you like that, I'm a mess. You don't need that" She was sobbing. _Well done dumb ass._

I walked up behind her and clasped her to my chest. _How can I sort this?... Fuck it, here goes nothing._ "You should know... I don't regret any part of it" I breathed in her ear. She slumped into my embrace "and what's more, I'd do it again...in a heartbeat."I whispered. This tiny girl had no idea what her closeness was doing to me. She rested her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her even closer, holding her up.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes before she turned to look at me. "Jake what I did to you yesterday was unforgivable. I never meant to attack you like that; I just wanted to see how it would feel, to kiss you, to have you hold me."

"And?" I had to ask. _God please let her say it was ok._

" It was great. Better than great, it was fantastic"

"Well what's the problem then?" _was this pushing it? Do or die Jake your finding out if it's yes or no, today._

"Jake there's things you don't know about me, things I haven't told you, things that make me question my sanity from time to time"

"Bella you know you can tell me anything, there's nothing about me you don't know"

"I'm worried that what I tell you might hurt you" I knew where she was going with this. I'd seen first hand the effect lover boy's parting had had on her. I didn't want to drag it up for her right now. I didn't know if I could handle the details myself.

I let her off the hook "Look, if your not up to telling me at the moment just promise me that this _is_ a conversation we will have" I wanted to have this talk with her one day but not today. If I made her promise she wouldn't back out.

"I promise" she said, drawing a cross over her heart.

I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and lingered there for a moment breathing her strawberry scent deep into my lungs. "so, where does this leave us?"

"I don't know Jake."

"How about we just take it slowly then? You tell me whenever I'm close to crossing the line, and I'll tell you whenever you get close to crossing mine" I chuckled

"yeah, right" she giggled "like _you've_ got a line"

"Whatcha tryin to say woman?"

"Jake, you're a dog" she laughed.

"Only you know me well enough to know that I'd never take offence to that Bells" she really had no idea how much of a dog I was.

"Anyways" I drew a lung full of air "Billy's organised a bonfire tonight as a sort of celebration of Harry's life, it's a kind of traditional thing you know, campfire tales and stuff, hey you could sing some campfire songs, weren't you a girl scout or something when you were younger?"

"A girl scout? You think?" she looked confused.

"Yeah well you had to get the survival skills from somewhere." I was creasing up inside.

"Jake, What are you on about?" frustration fell onto her face.

"Yeah, you know...your super survival skills you were displaying at the top of the stairs earlier" I couldn't suppress my hilarity any longer. She flushed bright red. She was beyond beautiful.

"thanks for reminding me, though your face was priceless I've got to say" she giggled,_ You think that was funny babe, you aught to have seen what I had to do for an encore._

"Would you like to be my 'date' to Harry's wake Bella?" I asked he sheepishly._ I know , I know a funeral for a date. Slick_.

"I don't suppose it would do any harm" she teased "but no more talk of the crazy naked lady from earlier, or I will sing" I would have paid a fortune to see either one.


	7. Ready BPOV

**Ok so he's a little slice of lemon for you. It's my first time remember,and it was really hard (no pun intended) :)**

**The characters 'n' stuff belong to Stephenie Meyer, though i'm sure she wouldn't want credit for what i'm about to do with them**

"_Would you like to be my 'date' to Harry's wake Bella?" He used his fingers to display quotation marks when he said the word date. _

"_I don't suppose it would do any harm" I teased "but no more talk of the crazy naked lady from earlier, or I will sing" and that was something no one wanted._

7

Ready

Jacob reached for my hand and quickly turned me back into him, gently holding me against his chest.

"Is this ok?" he murmured, I could hear his heart beating rhythmically deep within. I felt so safe standing there wrapped in his arms. One thing I was now sure of; Jacob would never hurt me or see me hurting. Not like Edward had. Jacob had always been so attuned to my moods, knowing when to be serious, when to be comforting or when to make me laugh. _Why am I only realising this now?_ I allowed myself to think about Edward for a brief moment. How could he have promised me an eternity with him then walk away without so much as a look back? That stung.

I raised my head to look at Jacob "Jake... this is more than ok, I realise that now" his ebony eyelashes lay softly on his cheeks, contentment etched into his face. He looked so peaceful, the heavy brow he had worn over the past few months, gone. I raised my hand to touch where it had once been. His eyes opened heavily. Passion scorched his gaze; his eyes pulled me in and took my breath away. Gently he drew his hand along my back up towards my neck, pulling me tight against himself with his other. This russet giant towered above me; it was hard to believe the man who stood before me had matched me in head height no more than six months ago, now he was only recognisable by the copper glow of his skin and his familiar eyes that now pierced into my soul with unfamiliar passion, how could I not want this? How could I not want him? I had been a fool to deny him all this time.

His hand brushed across the fine strands of hair that had escaped from my braid, sending shivers coursing through me. This wasn't like being touched by an angel, this was better. My nerve endings were set ablaze where ever he grazed my skin. If he didn't kiss me now; the whole in my chest, which had been tearing me to pieces for months, was going to consume me.

As though reading my mind, he brought his lips close to mine; there was no uncertainty this time. I knew this was what I wanted; more importantly I now knew this was what he wanted. He had spelled it out to me as clearly as he could.

His lips lingered, a smile playing around the edges; waiting for me to close the gap. I allowed my eyes feast on him for a moment; there was no 'kind of beautiful' about it, Jacob was the most beautiful being I had ever laid my eyes on. The realisation of this was now crashing down around me.

I reached up onto the tips of my toes, resting my arms around his neck, drawing him down to close the last few centimetres of space between us. His kiss was tender, his soft lips moulding to mine, his scent was thick and masculine, warm and woody. I wanted to taste him, to feel his tongue against mine, I pressed forward, nipping his lower lip with my teeth, teasing him open, he understood. I eased my tongue into his mouth gently, tracing around the inside of his lips as I entered, they were unbelievably smooth and cool; he was delicious.

I searched for his tongue, grazing my own along his teeth as I pressed deeper, further into his mouth. Shockwaves coursed through my body as our tongues met; fire and ice flared across my skin. He froze mid kiss and my eyes shot open. His stare burned through his thick lashes, I fixed my eyes on his and pulled him back in, continuing my assault on his mouth. It was all the reassurance he needed. He loosened his grip on my neck and back; running his hands down to rest on the back of my thighs, In one swift movement he scooped me off the floor and moved us towards Charlie's kitchen table, it was then I realised how much Jake was enjoying this kiss he had grown hard from my touch and the feel of him against me was driving me crazy.

I rocked my hips into him. He gasped, grasping onto my thighs holding me still briefly, his hot breath blasting into my mouth before pulling me in close and matching my rhythm. I hung my head back as Jake rained hot, moist kisses across my jaw, down my neck and along my collarbone all the time pressing himself fully against me. He raised one of his hands and brought it round to my front. I watched as he slid one of his thick fingers between the top and second button of my blouse; he raised his eyes to once again meet mine and search for my approval, I pressed my teeth onto my bottom lip and closed my eyes. He understood. _Yes_. He flexed his finger and the button flew off in the direction of the stove. In a heart beat his mouth was on my breast, his tongue tracing gentle circles, driving me wild, A hot, trembling sensation was building in between my legs. I pushed my hips into him harder, locking my legs behind him. Jake felt amazing.

Then the phone rang. Jake froze immediately and pulled himself away.

"I...I need to go... give me a couple of minutes, I'll be right back, I swear..." he left by the back door, leaving me in the position I had assumed on the kitchen table, feeling bewildered. I reached up towards the phone, which was now ringing incessantly on the wall above me, defeat and embarrassment washed over me in waves.

"Hello, Swan residence" there was no reply "Hello, Swan residence" still nothing. I waited for a few seconds, I could sense someone on the line, "hello?" they weren't playing ball "ok...whatever...bye" I replaced the receiver. _I bet Charlie's forgot something_. They were always having problems with the phone lines in La Push. _I'll try to call him back in a few minutes._

I hopped off the table and walked to the mirror in the hallway. My hair was dishevelled. _Oh my god, what just happened? _I removed the band from the end of the braid and picked up the brush. _I bet I frightened him off, stupid Bella you had to push him again. _I stared at the image of myself in the mirror for a few minutes allowing myself to get lost in thought.

I don't know what had happened to change the way I felt about Jake, but in the last twenty four hours things had flipped on their head, I had been caught butt naked by my best friend, who had acted like a gentleman of course; I'd kissed him twice, though you can't count the first, what with all the crying, lunatic running and insane rambling I'd done. The second one was, well; the second one was amazing. But now he was gone.

Jake's presence did something to my soul, I don't know what that something was but whatever it was he was healing me, I knew that much for sure. And then I had to go and frighten him off and give myself the reputation of being easy. I lowered my face into my hands in despair. _How do you follow a day like that? _I rubbed my eyes then returned my gaze to the mirror. Jake was there leaning against the stair case. I was momentarily paralysed.

"Hey Bells" his voice was like smooth like warm honey "sorry I had to run out just then, wolfie things... you know?"

I blushed furiously as the impact of what we had done sunk in.

"Are you ready to go? Harry's funeral is at two thirty, wouldn't be good if we were late what with this being our first date and all" he teased as he reached out to take my hand and lead me to the door, just then the phone rang again, breaking me out of my trance.

"Just...give me a minute Jake that might be Charlie. I think he tried to phone earlier, must be a problem with the phone lines over at la Push again" I skipped off towards the kitchen to answer it. "Hello? Charlie?" the line was dead again, "Charlie if you can hear me Jake and I are just leaving, we'll be there in about twenty minutes" I looked up and smiled at Jake then replaced the receiver.

"You ready now?" his smouldering eyes undressed me where I stood. Oh, he knew I was ready alright.


	8. What's going down already? JPOV

**Hmm dreamy, Anyways,back to the story :)**

**You know the script, Stephenie Meyer owns it :(**

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* * *

8

What's going down already?

My senses were being assaulted by the most, sweet, arousing smell in the world, I could almost taste it. I slipped my finger into her blouse, and checked her face for an answer, it was there. _Yes_.

Then I heard it in the distance. _Not now, please not now_, the piercing sound of Sam's alpha howl resonated in my head. I tried to block it but it was no use. Just then the phone rang. _Saved by the bells, God damn it. _I pulled myself reluctantly out of her embrace her eyes were filled with lust.

"I...I need to go, give me a couple of minutes, I'll be right back, I swear..." her face fell then scorched, obviously Bella was now feeling the impact of what had just taken place, I didn't have time to talk this through just now. Something was going down and I had heard the call. I couldn't not go.

I burst through the back door towards the woods at the back of Charlie's, stripping off clothes as I ran, as soon as I met the tree's I phased.

"_What the fuck Sam?" I knew there was a good reason coming but I couldn't help feeling pissed. _

"_Mind your mouth Jake" Sam would never have tolerated a smart mouth from any of the others, he would have ripped them a new asshole if they'd dared talk to him the way I just did. After our little chat the other day I knew he would take it from me. "We've had another visit, Jared picked up the scent on his way over from Kim's this morning"_

"_Where?" I knew what the answer would be before he said it._

"_He followed it as far as the Cullen's place but he had to stop. If he'd followed it any further and they were home there would have been one almighty shit storm for us to deal with, they only suspected our existence when they left. We don't want to make them any the wiser". _

_That was it then; if they were back Bella and I were over before we'd begun. Despair took over. "Jake you stay phased just now, the rest of you get dressed and make your way over to Sue's" he was trying to protect me, protect my thoughts, I felt my anguish fall over the other guy's before they phased back to human form. Sam remained silent for a moment listening for the others no doubt. "Jake...don't tell her" _

"_You know I can't do that Sam, I won't lie to her, not now" I loved her too much, she had given me a gift, she had shown me the way things could be between us. If I withheld this from her it would be the ultimate betrayal and if she found out she would never forgive me._

"_Give yourself a break Jake, you're just starting out with her, I know how long you've waited for this... don't tell her..."_

"_Sam I hear what you're saying, but I can't"_

"_Jake... you don't get it" I could hear the change in his voice "you are not to tell her, she could...er... compromise us" we both knew she would never do that, but Sam was very aware that I couldn't disobey the alphas command. He was trying to make this guilt free for me._

"_Ok I get it..." _

"_Go back to her now, but Jake...be careful" I knew his warning wasn't in reference to any vampires, "and try to think about fixing cars or something the next time you phase"_

_The pack mind connected us in a way that meant we shared each others thoughts and memories like we had experienced them ourselves. It kinda drove us all a bit crazy, especially if we weren't getting any action._

I walked back towards the house picking up and replacing my clothes as I went, it was a good thing Bella's back yard backed on to the Forrest, naked Quileute boys strolling around your garden was a sure-fire way to get a girl a bad name.

I quietly entered the door I'd exited moments earlier. Bella was in the hallway brushing her hair, she was the most stunning girl in the world, and she had no concept of that. I watched as she braided her hair once again, worry etched on her face. I wished I could ease her anxiety, share her burden; but this was going to take time and gentle handling on my part. She eased her face into her hands and begun to rub her eyes. This time there were no tears. She looked up and caught me watching her, she was lovely.

"Hey Bells...sorry I had to run out just then, wolfie things... you know?"

Her face flushed, I could tell she was angry. I had to soften the atmosphere, distract her... make amends for deserting her at the crucial moment.

"Are you ready to go? Harry's funeral is at two thirty, wouldn't be good if we were late what with this being our first date and all" I smiled at her as I reached out to take her hand, just then the phone rang.

She spoke a few words into the receiver, I was still preoccupied with the information I had just received from Sam. She looked up and smiled as she set the phone back on the wall.

"You ready now?" I asked, she smirked for a moment then reached for my hand, hers was tiny and pale against mine. She felt so fragile. I lead her to Sam's pickup and opened the door for her to climb in. As I entered the cab her smell hit me, it wasn't the strawberry and jasmine smell from her bathroom bag, it was her. This was going to be my punishment for being a bad boy. I was going to have to spend the day with her smelling like this and try not to jump her. Her smell was driving me insane.

All I could think about all the way over in the car was getting her alone, pulling into a side road, laying her on the hood of Sam's pickup and have her roll her hips in to the huge erection, _uh oh,_ I was now sporting. I knew if I did it wouldn't end there, my animal instincts had taken over but deep down I respected her need for boundaries; even though she hadn't shown me where they were yet... This was going to be the longest fifteen minute drive of my life.

On entering La Push the significance of where we were heading finally dawned on me and I managed to get my urges under control. I pulled up along side Sue's house, there were so many people there they had spilt out into the front yard, it was a sea of black. People were just mulling around. I jumped from the truck and went around to Bella's side to open the door for her. I held out my hand to steady her. I squeezed hers gently, her cheeks flared momentarily as we made contact. I gave her a temperate smile; I didn't want to get myself back into a state again so I didn't linger in her gaze for long.

"Let's go find out where everyone is" I led her towards Sue's front door.

oooOooOooOooOooo

The funeral went well, well as well as a funeral can go I suppose. After the ceremony Sue, Leah, Seth, dad, me and the rest of the pack all headed over to A-ka-lat, the ancient burial grounds on James' Island just off the coast. Bella couldn't go there, tribe members only. I left her in the capable hands of Emily.

oooOooOooOooOooo

It was twilight when we returned, the sun was sinking in the sky on this unusually sunny day. Bella was busying herself, helping Emily prepare cuts of meat and salad for the barbeque dad had organised for this evening.

"Do you need any help?" I glanced at Emily

"No we're just about done here Jake, but if you want; you and Bella could take some of these trays of food down to Charlie at the barbeques, he's kinda commandeered them we think, you know it's a guy thing, Me man, Me bring fire!" Emily and Bella cracked up.

"yeah... ok... it's like that is it?"I teased.

"Sorry Jake your exempt from that" she quickly corrected herself "Not that we're saying your not a 'man' per say, but you don't need to play with matches to prove it" Emily dissolved again but Bella blushed bright red. Emily straightened herself out. "oops, take it I hit a raw nerve there" Bella grabbed two trays and headed for the door, her eyes fixed on the floor. "What'd I say?" Emily looked up at me gingerly.

"Nothing Ems, it's just Bella's real easily embarrassed, don't think anything of it"

I took some trays and headed after her catching up with her within a few strides. "Bella, Emily didn't mean anything there" I started to explain.

"Jake... I know; and I don't know why I reacted like that. I'm just real tired, I had a bad dream last night and didn't sleep well..." she trailed off. She'd told me about her dreams once before, they sounded vivid, terrifying.

"You wanna tell me about it?" we slowly paced down towards where the bonfire had been built.

"You don't wanna know Jake, trust me. It was really messed up" she shook her head. I placed my trays on the table that Charlie had assembled by the barbeque, before relieving Bella of the one's she had carried.

"You wanna go for a walk, before the action gets started around here?" I gave her my widest smile. It was kinda pathetic.

"Yeah... I'd really like that Jake" she said softly.

"Come on... I wanna show you something" I took her by the hand and led her the short walk towards the cliffs at First. There was a clearing that I had found that overlooked the bay. On a warm day the sun would filter through the leafy canopy provided by the Acer trees and cast an otherworldly glow to the scene. Occasionally the sun would penetrate through gaps in the leaves sending bright shafts of light scattering across the clearing floor. Floating moss spores would dance in the rays. You could hear the pacific wave's crash onto the rocks below. The place was filled with peace, my little heaven on earth. I had fantasised about bringing Bella to this spot...sharing it with her since the day she arrived at my house with the busted up bikes. I wanted her to be sure about us before I took her there.

We laughed and talked about Charlie's cooking skills and many of Bella's emergency hospital trips due to falling off the bikes as we walked. I had to get something off my chest before we went any further. I was falling for her hard and I had to know.

"So does this mean we're 'dating' now" I teased as I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand. She looked up at me.

"Yeah Jake, I guess you could say we were dating. That is unless you think I make out with all my friends on Charlie's kitchen table" she giggled. I wanted to scoop her up again and hold her tight against me, but there was something I had to know. I knew it was going to sting. I stopped and turned her towards me.

"What if the lee... what if Edward was to come back, would that change things?"I felt my brow crease anticipating her reaction. She looked across the bay, just staring into the distance as she thought for a moment.

"He's not coming back Jake..." she replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

"that's not what I asked Bells, I don't want to push you, it's just...I need to know how you feel" She turned to look me in the eye.

"No, I don't think it would" she smiled timidly, waiting for my response. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and bent my head to kiss her neck.

"That's all I needed to hear" I whispered into her ear.


	9. Changes BPOV

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9

Changes

He said it, he finally asked, "What if Edward was to come back, would that change things?" I didn't know how to answer that. Jacob was asking me about an event I'd already accepted as never happening, I could understand why he was asking and I could see why he was asking about it now, but it tied knots in my gut even just to think about it. _He's never, ever coming back. _That was the finality of the situation but it didn't hurt as much as I thought it should have. Jacob had been the saviour of my soul and now he was the keeper of my heart.

"He's not coming back Jake..."

Jake interjected. "That's not what I asked Bells, I don't want to push you, it's just...I need to know what you feel" his brow was furrowed with worry.

He needed me to commit to our relationship, to choose. He needed me to choose him. _I _needed me to choose him.

"No, I don't think it would" In that moment I was certain that it wouldn't. Why couldn't I just tell him that?

I turned back towards the ocean. The sky was clear and the sun was beginning to sink into the horizon. Jake wrapped his strong arms around me from behind, gently resting them on my stomach. He dropped his head to my shoulder and placed a tender kiss on my neck. It raised goose bumps all over my body, I closed my eyes.

"That's all I needed to hear," He murmured into my ear.

We stood for a few moments wrapped in the moment of realisation that we were finaly together. As natural as it seemed now, we had taken the long road to get here. Being like this, with Jake, was as easy and as natural as breathing.

"Come on, remember I told you I had something to show you" he released me from his grip then took me by the hand and guided me further along the cliff edge until we reached a tiny clearing underneath the Acers. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The setting sun illuminated the spot with an amber glow; the dense vegetation was alive with wild flowers that swayed gently in the breeze.

"Jake, it's amazing" I could hardly speak as the beauty of the place overwhelmed me.

"You think this is amazing? Check out the view." he turned me towards the bay, my heart stopped momentarily as I took in the sight.

The sun was sinking into the inky black Pacific, casting a reflection that cut a crimson path across the waves to the soft, golden sand on First. The sky was alight with colour. Fire danced across the horizon where the sun met the waves sending a saffron flush into the sky, this darkened to vermilion, scarlet, indigo then finally cavernous black, the first stars of the night were starting to glitter over to the east. The sky was ablaze.

I couldn't help but feel the significance of what I was witnessing. This was the sunset on my relationship with Edward. The only constant within the tumultuous picture that lay before me was the unfaltering sun, the light from it was blinding, warming. It was my Jacob. As it sunk into the sea I could feel it taking all the pain and suffering I had felt over the past few months with it. Tears of relief rolled their way down my cheeks.

This would be the last time I would cry for Edward. Jake was my world now.

Jake laced his fingers into mine and laid our hands on my midriff. "I love you Bella" his voice was drenched with sincerity. "I have for a long time" we stood silently and watched as the dark night sky consumed the last rays of the day. I had come home.

oooOooOooOooOooo

The barbeques and bonfires were in full swing by the time we returned. Charlie was commandeering the position of head cook and bottle washer. Billy was parked by the side of the bonfire, Sue was at his side. The rest of the pack were scattered around the fire listening intently. Every so often laughter would erupt, a result of some of the stories about the escapades Harry and Billy had got up to when they had worked together for some construction company up in Forks.

Jake located himself on the ground against the thick trunk of a tree. He motioned for me to sit in the space between his legs. I snuggled against his warm chest and inhaled his musk. Once I was comfortable Jacob slipped his hands under the hem of my blouse and settled his enormous hands on my bare abdomen. It sent tingles through me for us to be this intimate in company. Charlie shot us a disapproving look and I shot one right back. Jacob chuckled quietly and Billy began another story as everyone listened in silence.

"I remember this one time the management had employed this guy to be our new foreman on a job up near Bogachiel, he was a real brown nose you know, always running to the bosses every time there was a problem with one of the workers. I'd seen him report many of our crew for minor breeches, he was a real asshole, however, he hadn't noticed that we were quickly becoming aware that he was a real _lazy_ asshole.

Every time there was any heavy work to be done the guy just disappeared, we couldn't find him anywhere. One day we were laying concrete sewage drains for this new housing complex, it was a real dirty, heavy job, lots of manoeuvring and stuff to be done to get the pipes into position. Anyhow right on cue the guy disappears, only this time Harry notices that he's made his way into one of those on site plastic porta toilets" Billy shook his head and laughed quietly to himself.

"So, Harry jumps out of the excavator he's working on, removes the chains we were using to move the pipes with and runs over and attaches them to the hook on the top of the porta toilet. We all just stood around with our mouths gaping, unable to move to stop what we all knew was about to happen. Then, as cool as you like, Harry jumps back into the excavator and manoeuvres it across the site, raising the limb at the front as he goes, and reattaches the chains to it. The next thing; he lifts the whole unit of the ground and moves it into position on top of this small slope on the site and gives it a gentle nudge and over it goes. The guy threw a shit fit, for real, he was head to toe in the stuff" The whole place erupted with laughter.

After a while the stories changed and Billy started to talk of the legends of the tribe, one of the stories that stuck with me was the story of the third wife. She had sacrificed her life for her husband, the Chief, during a battle with vampires. It got me thinking about what I would sacrifice for Jake if it came to it. I had already sacrificed so much of myself trying to save the love I thought I had with Edward. I had nothing left to give.

I felt Jakes embrace tighten around me as though he could sense my thoughts and feelings, I rested my hands on his forearms and gave him a gentle squeeze. Just then Quil approached and sat down beside us.

"_Ooh_, check you two out!" Before Quil could say another word Jacob threw out his hand and slapped him on the side of the head. It caught him totally off guard. He raised his hands to protect himself from further assault. "Mother fu... dude, whatcha do that for? I was just sayin..."

"Well don't bother 'just sayin'" Jake shifted about uncomfortably behind me; I gave him another gentle squeeze.

"It's okay Jake" I reassured "Quil's just jealous that you've got a girl and he hasn't" Jake howled with laughter whilst Quill shot him a death stare.

They shared some sort of unspoken communication with each other. I didn't know what or why, but Quil's face grew steadily redder. "What?" I asked bluntly as I turned around to search Jakes face for an answer.

"Nothing babe, it's just Quills given up the quest for a girl for now" The muscled on Jakes chest continued to jiggle with laughter.

I felt my face flush scarlet again. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? That Quil was gay? He had always been such a guy, you know_ really_ into girls. How would that interfere with the whole imprinting thing? I suddenly felt sympathy for Quill, if he did imprint he was destined to be stuck in a loveless relationship for the rest of his days. That really sucked.

I was suddenly brought back to reality when Jake dropped his lips to my ear and breathed, "It's not what you think" He grazed the fleshy part of my lobe with his teeth before he continued "I'll tell you about it later" His abuse of my ear had rendered me temporarily insane, I couldn't gather a coherent thought in my head, I just nodded like a daffodil whose head was caught in a light breeze.

"Anyways" Quil sucked in a deep breath. "Sam told me to tell you that you and I have to do the patrol tonight"

Jakes body flexed in annoyance "You're kidding right?"

"Nope, so you best wrap it up here" he swirled his finger towards us "and go get ready". With that Quil flashed him a grin and quickly walked off towards Paul and Embry, who were now providing Jake and me with an audience.

"Sorry Bells I need to go" I sat forward so he could raise himself off the ground and I felt a sudden shiver resonate within me.

Jake knelt down on one knee in front of me and gently raised my chin so he could look in my eyes.

"I love you" he whispered, then he leaned into me and gently kissed me on the lips. My heart lurched forward, drawn to him and then I reluctantly released him so he could fulfil his duty to the tribe.

Jake was the image of perfection from every angle. As he walked away I drew my eyes down his strong, muscular back and rested them on his tight buns. _Hmmm_.

I could feel Charlie eyeballing me again and I really wasn't in the mood for a father- daughter talk tonight, so I met his gaze and raised my eyebrows to signify that I was waiting for his question.

"Whenever your quite finished Isabella, I'd like to get home this side of midnight" I could see the frustration in his face.

I was getting the talk tonight, whether I was in the mood or not.


	10. Why, why now? JPOV

**Please read and review:)**

**I don't own anything, no I mean it, I really dont own anything. So feel sorry for me and leave me a review :)**

10

Why, why now?

I really didn't want to leave her. I had a sneaky suspicion that Sam was being a bit of an asshole and trying to meddle in business that had nothing to do with him. I could feel Charlie's glare getting heavier as the moments passed. Bella had given him a 'what's the problem?' look only moments before Quil had plopped himself down beside us providing a welcome distraction, even if it was only because he was acting like an idiot. I didn't want Bells getting into anymore trouble than she was already.

Billy and Charlie had always been advocates for Bella and me getting together. Billy on one hand had inside information and could see how her personal safety would be enhanced and how the pack would benefit from any information she could give us. On the other hand Charlie could see Bella become more and more animated with every moment she spent in La Push.

I could tell by the way Charlie was now eyeballing us that he was having no problem visualising the potential pitfalls that could present themselves when a gigantic Quileute boy (no matter how much he knew and liked him) was trying to get his way with his very delicate and dainty daughter.

I reluctantly rose from my sitting position behind Bella and knelt down in front of her, cupped her chin in my hands and lost myself momentarily in her smooth chocolate coloured eyes.

"I love you" she nodded her head gently. I didn't need her to reply with any great displays of affection or anything, the fact she let me plant the sweetest kiss of all time on her lips in front of both our friends and family was enough for me. I was on cloud nine, now everyone knew how things stood and I couldn't stop myself from feeling ever so slightly smug.

I stalked over to the side of Sues little red house to where the rest of the guys had gathered.

"What's the beef? Whose going where and who are they going with?" I asked. Paul, Embry and Quil stood with their mouths gaping. "What?" I looked to each of them for an answer to my question.

"Fuck dude...you're a fucking badass" Embry started babbling. I had no idea what he was talking about. "I thought Charlie was gonna pull a fucking gun and shot you in the head when you kissed Bella like that."

"Like what?" I really wasn't in the mood for Embry's stupid assed messing about.

"Seriously?" Paul looked at me with one eyebrow cocked. "That was one fucking hot kiss my brother" he held his hand up for a high five.

"Shut up asshole" I was quite happy for them to know Bella and me were together but having them fantasise about our every kiss or touch was another thing altogether.

I glared at each of them as I walked past and headed for the tree line in Sue's back yard.

That was the thing about the reservation, everyone's house backed onto the forest, Ideal cover for shape shifting werewolves.

I continued into the woods a little further than I would normally. There were still lots of people mulling around the bonfire, I didn't want to risk any of the guests spotting us in wolf form. As I started to feel the moss soften underfoot I stripped and hung my clothes over a nearby branch then I phased.

In an instant I thought I was going to puke. I felt my lips curl back and I let a feral growl surge through my clenched teeth. The others were there in an instant, all of us growling belligerently at the stench that now filled our muzzles. _One of those dirty leech fuckers have been here. _I could feel the panic rise in Quil and Embry, they yelped and trotted nervously around me as the realisation of the proximity of the leech sunk in, they needed to keep their cool if they were going to be of any use tracking the bloodsucker.

_We need to let Sam and the others know _Paul raised his head to let rip with a howl.

_No Paul, don't; there are too many people around, it would draw unwanted attention, besides we don't have time this stench is strong, the bloodsuckers only got a few minutes lead on us. If we go now we've got a good chance of catching it. We can't wait for the others. _I didn't hang around for the others to respond, every second I wasted listening to them was a one second lead the leech had on us. The thing had come within two hundred feet of Bella and the tribe members for christ sake. Way too close for comfort.

Although it pained me to; I tasted the air to try and pick up the direction it had gone in. _East towards Forks. _I burst forward into a flat out sprint_. _The only sound in my head was the thundering of my paws as they crossed the forest floor. My hair was bristling with fire as I raced after the stench. I heaved bile into my throat and then swallowed hard. I didn't have time to stop and throw up; I could sense I was gaining ground. My heart thudded in my chest and my hackles drew themselves up into a brittle ridge across my shoulders and back.

_Hold back Jake your too close to the Cullen's place you're going to break the treaty, _it was Paul

_Fucking screw the treaty, it's already broken, they knew that the moment they set foot on Quileute land. _I paced forward. The trees were beginning to thin out in the distance. I could see the glow of lights._ Of course this must be it._ I thundered on, pushing myself as hard as I could until I could clearly make out the shape of the house.

I slowly wound my pace down to a trot, and watched intently for any sign of movement. _Nothing_.

The house was grand beyond words. It was hidden in the dense forest so as not to draw attention to it's over stated style on the Olympic peninsula. _Great, not only do these fuckers need to be model like in looks they also have to have the pad to die for. No brainer why Bella was so drawn in here. _In my heart I knew Bella would never be attracted to the material things in life, but damn it I was jealous.

Paul ran into me, drawing me out of my train of thought. _Hey watch it idiot._

_Jeez Jake I thought I was going to have to bring you down for a minute there._ Paul liked to live in a fantasy land.

_Yeah like you could. You couldn't even keep up with me never mind take me down. Lazy shit._

_Whatever ass wipe. _Paul could be a real prissy little bitch at times. We stood quietly and watched the house for a few moments. _So what's the plan?_

_I don't have one, we need to see how many there are first_. I could hear Quil and Embry approach us from the rear. They must have picked up our scent (_though god knows how they did in this shitty smelling place_) because they gradually slowed themselves to a stop and there was no way they could see us in the thick trees where Paul and I now found ourselves standing. I could here them panting as they came to stand beside us. We all watched in silence like we were waiting for some frigging epiphany to happen. Then it did.

The leech peered out of the glass doors overlooking the garden. It knew we were here. It searched the line of trees where we were and finally brought its eyes to rest on us.

"You can come out you know. I won't harm you, it's not in my nature" its voice pierced its way into my head like someone drawing their nails down a chalk board.

_Shit, do you think it can see us? _Embry was never the sharpest pin in the cushion.

_Course it can dumbo, haven't they got some sort of supersonic eyesight or something? _Quil's I.Q matched Embry's so closely I would swear they must be twins sometimes_._

_Sonic, idiot implies sound, not vision. _Paul piped up, _you can't hear with your eyes; ergo you can't have supersonic eyesight._

_Okay... what?_ Paul's contribution had only served to confuse them further, not hard though given the circumstances.

_Shut the fuck up guys. It's waiting for us to make our move. _I was frustrated by their pissing about. _We need to be careful in case there are more inside, I'll take the centre, Paul, you take the right flank Embry you take the left, Quil, you get in behind in case you fucking hurt yourself._

Paul and Embry chuckled to themselves at Quil's expense. _Seriously, Quil, you get in behind and watch for anything coming at us from the rear._

We nodded to each other in agreement and then I stepped forward from the thicket of trees we had been standing in.

Shock swarmed over the bloodsuckers face as it took in the sight of us four giant wolves snarling and growling our way across the yard.

"Play nice doggies, because if you don't I won't either."It pulled its face up into a grimace and bared its glistening, primary weapons for us to see. "I can understand now why I've been finding things so difficult lately, can you change for me so we can discuss what has happened here."

_I'll phase the rest of you stay as you are._

_No fucking way Jake you'll be vulnerable in your human form._ I could sense Pauls worry.

_Exactly, that's why you are going to stay as you are._ Without another word I phased into my human self.

"Why the hell were you on Quileute land? You know that you've broken the treaty now" a low growl escaped as I said it.

"I had to take that chance." The leeches over confidence made me want to throw up onto the immaculate lawn beneath my feet.

"Why, why now?"

"I had to see Bella, to make sure that she was okay." Its voice pierced into me again.

"You didn't care about her welbeing all those months ago when you walked away from her and left her as good as dead." My words hit like a slap in the face.

"I didn't realise she had got so bad, not until recently anyway, when she fell off the radar so to speak," It paused for a minute then continued "I see she's happy now, with you." It nodded it's head towards me.

"So... what? You're here to suck any remaining happiness right out of her, because that's what's going to happen when she finds out you're here." I was sure of that.

"I would never try to hurt her dog." _Motherfucker._

"How did you even know where to find her?" I was starting to struggle to keep a grip on the rage that was now shaking me to the core.

"I bumped into some of her school friends in town, they told me that she was spending lots of time with you Jacob Black, down on the reservation." I let a snarl rip through my teeth.

"Well now you've got your answer leech, you can crawl right back under whatever stone you dragged your sorry ass out from." I turned to walk back towards the pack.

"It's not quite as easy as that. I need to speak to her," The bloodsucker was trying to push me over the edge I could tell.

"Never"

"Jacob...She's in danger" Nothing new there then.

"We know. We chased your red haired buddy off ot the Olympic park over a month ago now, so no need for you to hang around any longer."

"That's not what I'm talking about, I know about Victoria and I'm impressed by how you wolves handled her, but that's not the danger I am talking of, it's something else,"

So here was the real reason why the leech had returned to Forks.

_Oh fucking excellent... _

**Do I need to say it again? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, GO ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. REEEEVIEWWWWWW. ;)**

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	11. Stroke BPOV

**WARNING Lemon Meringue Pie Included, those sensitive to either Lemons or Pies look no further. Lots of OOC Lemonyness. You have been warned!!**

**Those who find themselves indulging in the pie and finding themselves thinking WTF? stick with it all will become clear.**

**Trust me Stephenie Meyer wouldn't want it.**

* * *

11

Stroke

I grasped the handle on the door of the cruiser; Charlie entered the drivers' side close behind me. There was a heavy silence in the air; you know the kind where you can actually hear the silence.

Charlie pushed the key into the ignition and fired up the engine.

"Buckle up" _Oh... shit_, I could tell from the tone of his voice that I was in for a rough ride home.

Charlie glared at me as he flicked the headlights on and slowly reversed the cruiser off the grass. "What?" for the first time in my life I was talking to Charlie like I was a teenager with a bad attitude.

"Don't 'what' me lady, you know fine well what. What the hell was that all about?"Charlie was furious.

"Dad, don't start" a pleading tone seeped into my voice.

"Don't start..._don't start_? What the hell do you expect Bella. You just made out with Jake at a fucking funeral for Christ sake. How do you expect me to react? You were totally disrespectful towards Sue, Leah and Seth. And what's more this, _**this**_ is the way I have to find out that you and Jake are together? You could have told me before." Sweat was beading on his forehead. I had never seen Charlie so angry. He never used profanities, especially not in front of me.

"You seem to have a bit of a conflict there Charlie, what bothers you more, me and Jake sharing a kiss at a funeral, or me not telling you we were together before now?" I was on a suicide mission now, my mouth had gone into overdrive and I was now careering dangerously close to the precipice.

"Do not use that smart ass tone with me Isabella," he was roaring over the sound of the engine now. I had really pissed him off. "You are grounded, and what's more, I am driving you back to La Push first thing tomorrow morning and you are personally going to apologise to Sue and her family for your lack of respect." Charlie's breath huffed in his chest.

This was not the talk I had been expecting. I had thought he might have mumbled a few uncomfortable sentences about being careful and not getting too serious with Jake but not this. We sat in silence for the rest of the journey. I could feel my face glowing hotter as the moments passed by. How dare he speak to me like that, I wasn't a child anymore, he didn't have any say over my life, or what I did with my boyfriend, or where I did it.

We drove up the hill towards the house. Charlie hadn't uttered another word since his rant. I chose now to break the silence. "You know what Dad? I don't have a problem apologising to the Clearwater's for any offence I caused them, but I will not apologise for not telling you about Jake and I before hand." Charlie turned his glare on me again, but he was going to hear what I had to say. "Jake and I only agreed we were together today. I didn't have time to fill you in before the funeral." Charlie's look softened; he rolled his eyes and swallowed hard.

"Bells, you don't need to apologise for that, I should be apologising for how I just spoke to you. I'm so sorry Bella" he hung his head in shame. Charlie had had a rough day. Harry and he had been fishing buddies. He was still raw with grief over his friends' untimely passing. I placed my hand on his shoulder to offer him some comfort. He raised his hand and patted the back of mine before turning to me and mouthing "sorry". I shook my head to dismiss him.

"It's okay dad. Are you ready to go in the house?" I smiled at him gently.

"No, just give me a few minutes Bells, I'll be in right behind you" He hung his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes. I quietly exited the car and made my way up the stairs and through the front door.

The light was on at the top of the stairs, I was sure I had put them all off before Jake and I left, saying that, my head had been all over the place earlier thanks to the hot sexiness that is Jacob Black. I let my mind wander back to our encounter on the kitchen table this afternoon.

Jake had felt fantastic as he rocked himself against me; his kisses were tender and gentle beyond belief, the movement of his tongue against my bare skin had set my nerves alive. It was the first time I had ever been touched like that and I have to say I was hoping it wouldn't be the last or that I wouldn't have to wait too long before he tested the lines again.

I smiled sheepishly to myself, content in the knowledge that I would at least have this memory to tide me over until I next saw him.

Charlie entered the front door to find me staring at the kitchen table with a goofy grin on my face.

"You okay Bells?

"Uh...yep. I'm going to bed now dad, it's been a long day."

"Okay... night Bells"

"Night Dad" I turned on my heels and headed up the stairs to my room. Despite the car journey from hell I'd just be subjected to, I had just experienced the most perfect day of my life. I nipped the back of my hand to make sure I wasn't dreaming again. Nope I was wide awake. Which meant everything that had happened today was real. Quite a nice change for me.

I removed my shoes and grabbed my bathroom bag before I padded along the hall to the bathroom to commence my bedtime cleaning routine.

I grappled in my bag for the strawberry glycerine soap bar, my face flannel and my toothbrush. The soap wasn't there. I emptied the bag onto the counter and took stock of its contents. The soap, a lip balm and my conditioner were gone. _I must have just thrown them into my room what with all the confusion this morning_. I had everything I needed for now; I could replace the other stuff before my morning shower.

I finished getting washed and made my way to my bedroom. My bed was becoming more inviting as I cleared the clothes I had worn today into the laundry basket. I swear I would never look at the lid of one of these in the same way after this mornings' escapade.

I climbed into my bed. Tonight was not a night for nightmares, the hole on my chest was gone now and I was sure only sweet dreams of Jake would follow.

oooOooOooOooOooo

_The eyes, the burning red eyes trapped me within their glare. I looked frantically around for somewhere to hide, a boulder or tree; anything, the landscape was barren, there was no vegetation only burning hot shards of stone. I was in my bare feet again. The shards, sending shooting pains trough my feet and ankles. I needed to hide._

_I shook myself awake from the nightmare only to find Jake standing by the side of my bed. He dropped onto his knees and drew me into his arms, his shoulders were shaking and he was sobbing hard. I met him with a fierce embrace "Jake what's wrong? What is it? Are you hurt?" he didn't answer; he just continued to reap soundless sobs into my shoulder. "Jake, please, tell me what's wrong, what happened?" Jake broke his grasp on my shoulders and brought his hand to my face, running his thumb across my cheek as though he was wiping away a tear. _

_I couldn't bear to see Jake like this, whatever had happened he was badly shaken, but I could sense he wasn't going to tell me why._

_I looked into the deep pools of tears where Jakes eyes had once sparkled. I swear when I looked into Jakes eyes, I could see his soul._

_He inched his face forwards then drew me into a kiss; I could taste the salt from his tears._

_His moist lips were like soft pillows and they moved like a warm breeze against mine. I could see the need in his eyes. He needed to kiss me ; to fully explore my mouth with his tongue. His eyes caught my gaze and he stared into them as he gently lapped at my top lip. I had never experiences anything so erotic in my life. I caught his tongue in my teeth, then gently sucked the length of it into my mouth; then released and slowly sucked it back in again, Jake closed his eyes and moaned into my mouth. _

_He brought his hands to rest on mine then began to trace his fingers along the length of my arm and across my collar bone as he continued his assault on my mouth. I wanted to feel his hands all over me; to have him hold me close and never let go. _

_His hand continued on its journey grazing my breast through the thin material of my pyjama top. My nipples rose to meet his touch. He gently circled them with the tips of his fingers and planted a tender kiss on each, before meeting my hungry gaze and bringing his lips down on my collarbone again, sucking gently on the taught skin that covered it._

_His hand inched down towards the top of my sweat pants. He snuck a finger inside the waistband and ran it the length of the material. I was momentarily paralysed as I realised the very likely destination of his wandering hand. He chuckled into the darkness as he sensed my apprehension and withdrew his finger. He stealthily moved himself onto the bed beside me and locked one of my legs in his; then he slowly dipped the tips of his fingers underneath the flimsy material that covered my breasts and stomach sending a million butterflies bashing around inside me. He lingered there for a moment as if deliberating on which direction to go, north or south._

_He raised my top slightly before drawing his nails tenderly across the sensitive skin just above my waist band then he dropped his head and started to draw circles on my neck and collar with his tongue, increasing the pressure he applied with each flick, The movement was driving me mad, I could feel a pool of wet warmth gather in my underwear. Jake drew a lung full of air "hmmm, nice...inviting... " he could smell my readiness and liked it. An ache was gathering between my legs and I knew in that instant that I wanted to Jake to ease it. Tonight. _

"_hmmm... north for now I think" his voice was dripping with sex and he was being quite the masochist. I could feel the hardness of him against my thigh as he gently pressed himself against me seeking temporary relief . His hand journeyed up towards my breasts. A thought flashed through my mind. No one's ever touched me like this. _

_His hand toyed with the sensitive skin under my breast and then he relented and teased my nubs alive to meet his touch. The feel of his rough finger tips circling my nipples was tantalising. I wanted to feel him against me with no barriers. I wanted to him rock his throbbing hardness into me and find relief in the warmth of my wet core._

_I stripped the top away and arched my back; giving him the invitation to do what he pleased, I was his now, he could have me any way he chose._

_He dipped his mouth and mirrored the movements of his fingers with his tongue, gently lapping at each nipple and almost sending me over the edge. He could feel my need for him now and I could tell from his increasing pressure on my leg he was also getting off on the frantic noises that were now escaping from me with each passing breath._

"_Behave Bella or you might get something your not ready for" he teased, his breath was hot against my breast. I could feel the wetness flood into my panties again. He inhaled, shaking his head before releasing a deep growl, "Fuck Bella, I swear to god, if you don't stop that I'm going to fuck you right now." Now that's what I was talkin about. I wanted Jacob Black inside me, filling me up and thrusting against me. I had a feeling I was going to get my way._

_He drew his tongue down the length of my torso and licked the patch of skin under my waist band. Flashes rippled across my eyes, the anticipation building like a fire in my belly. I lifted my hips so he could remove my sweats and panties with ease. He gently pulled off the offending items of clothing and tossed them onto the floor. I watched as he took in the sight of me writhing on the bed. I needed him inside me now. He read my mind, "Uh-uh Bella... you're not ready yet" he was going to tease me to death, I swear. He cocked his eyebrow at me before settling himself back on the bed, positioning himself in between my legs. _

_I gasped as he made contact with my wet lips. His fingers glided over my clitoris; a spot of divine torture I was now discovering. I arched against his touch, willing him to increase the pressure. He sensed what I wanted and settled a finger on either side of the sensitive little nub and begun to stroke it and give it gentle pulls as his fingers slipped over it, I rose and fell under his touch. Jake was an expert with his fingers_

_Slowly I could feel the pressure building and the wetness increasing between my legs. I bucked my hips to match his movements and looked down towards him; meeting his eyes with mine. He continued to stroke me, as he did, I felt him run the fingers of his other hand around my opening, threatening to touch me in places no one had ever been. _

_I deepened the movements of my hips to let him know what I wanted. He gently slid the full length of his finger inside me, continuing to tease my clitoris. _

"_Uh... fuck... Jake...fuck..." I let the words fall from my lips. _

_He started to increase the depth and speed of his assault on my core, wetness spilled once more from within me. His fingers continued to dig deep inside me, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my veins. My thighs began to tighten as my body begun to surrender to his touch. _

"_Uh....fuck... Jake... I'm gonna cum" No sooner had I breathed the words; I felt myself spill over the top, a cool breeze washed over my body as my internal muscles collapsed one on top of the other in a surge of heaven. Jake dipped his head between my legs and gently licked around my sensitive nub whilst continuing to slowly stoke my core. _

_He was touching my soul. _

I was jerked out of my dream with that uncanny feeling that I was being watched. It took me a moment to realise what was happening. Jake was standing at the foot of my bed with a longing look in his eyes, holly shit, he was butt naked and very obviously turned on.

He had just watched me jacking off, to what was now officially my favourite fantasy of all time.

"Bella... fuck... sorry...I..."

Before I could stop him, Jake jumped out of the window and ran towards the woods.

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**Hmmm...I wonder if SM has Dreams like this one?**

**I appologise now for the sickness that is my obsession with Jacob Black**

**Only review this one if you want to...hmph.**


	12. That's really scary! JPOV

**WARNING Lemon Meringue Pie Included, those sensitive to either Lemons or Pies look no further. Lots of OOC Lemonyness. You have been warned!!**

**Those who find themselves indulging in the pie and finding themselves thinking WTF? stick with it all will become clear.**

**Trust me Stephenie Meyer wouldn't want it.**

* * *

12

That's really scary...

So here was the real reason the leech had returned to Forks.

_Oh fucking excellent..._

"Well I think we can handle danger; we have been able to protect Bella from anything that has came our way since you left" The small dark haired leech huffed air into her chest.

"This thing is different Jacob... I have seen that it won't present it's self as an immediate threat, it won't be an entity that you will be able to fight or track in the way I would imagine you do"

"You say that you can see it, yes? Then just tell us what to look for" I was getting annoyed with the pussy footing around now.

"I can't actually see who or what it is, but more that I can see that there is a malevolent intent to what it is planning"

"Ooh, malevolent intent, well that's _really_ scary" I faked a shiver. "That sounds kinda serious. So what? You all felt it was necessary to make a grand return to Forks in a bid to protect Bella from malevo...whatever?"

"No..." I cut the little leech off before she could screech any more.

"Good, because from what I can see; there's only one thing Bella has ever needed protection from, and that's been you and your family." My words cut into her and she bowed her head in shame.

"Jacob...Don't judge the rest of us on the actions of my brother, we are all very upset by how things have worked out, and god I'm sure if he thought for a moment she would end up in the arms of a juvenile werewolf he would never have left her." _Ouch that hurt. _The leech expelled a sound that I took to be a giggle. "See, I have a sharp tongue too dog"

"You listen to me you little bitch, if you think for a minute that I am going to worry Bella over some 'feeling' you have, then you can think again. She's only just started to move on with her life after the mess he left her in."

"If you don't tell her I will" Okay, so this was how she wanted to play.

"I you set one foot in Bella's direction I swear to god I will..."

"You will what dog? I'm pretty sure Bella will be thrilled to know that you had withheld the fact that I was here to warn her that she was in danger." I could feel myself start to phase with temper. This little leech was going to call my bluff and although it made me sick to admit it; she was right, there was nothing I could do. I had to tell Bella.

"You have until morning Jacob" she turned away from us and stepped through the glass doors she had exited moments earlier. I watched her as she moved her way through the room; looking for any sight of other house guests. The rest of the place seemed to be empty. I phased and turned back towards the guys.

_Did any of you get a look inside the house, can you sense anything else in there with it. _I was frantic, did this mean they were back for good, and by 'they' what I really meant was Edward. Was he back too? I knew that if he was, Bella was going to take it hard. It would be goodbye Jacob Black for good. I'd already witnessed the hypnotic effect he had on her there was no way I could compete with that. I'd be back to being Bella's sometimes friend Jake. There was no way I was going back to being 'look but don't touch' Jake.

If that motherfucker was back for Bells then he was going to have a fight on his hands. I wasn't going to back away, not this time.

I was pumped.

_Jeez Jake, calm the fuck down, your freaking Quil out. _The panic in Pauls' voice drew me out of my stupor. Quil was cowering close to the ground, his ears pealed flat against his head; he was snarling and bearing his teeth. I was freely unloading all my fears and insecurities onto them and now he was ready to rip my throat out if I didn't stop.

I barked instructions to the others_. Get back to the res, tell Sam and the pack about what's happened here, I'm going to go and warn Bella and make sure she's ok._

oooOooOooOooOooo

I raced towards Forks as fast as I could. The clouds had finally won over the clear night sky and there was a steady drizzle. The ground was starting to soften under foot, and I could feel the moss and mud gather between my toes I was grateful for the temporary distraction it provided from what I was about to do.

If there was something out to hurt Bella then it was my job to protect her, to let her know about the danger she was in; but she would want to know how I found out about it and therein lay the problem. I couldn't figure out how to tell her about the bloodsucker being back; although I knew that that wasn't the most important issue here; Sam had ordered me not to tell her and there was no way around that. This wasn't like the time where she worked out the whole shape shifting werewolf thing, there was no way I could hint my way around the subject without her thinking I was trying to dig up painful memories; memories she now seemed content to forget.

My heart ached for Bella; she didn't deserve all this shit, vampires hunting her down, unseen forces after her. She was the most generous and gentle person I knew. He had started all this by letting his selfish wants and needs get in the way of what Bella needed, which was for him to walk away. When he did eventually go, it was too late, the wheels had been set in motion for every mythical being within a thousand miles of Forks to seek out and destroy Bella Swan. Okay so maybe that was an over exaggeration, but the fact that her life had been at risk at all was enough to make me hate him.

I was so lost in thought about what I was going to say to Bella that I over shot the tree line and careered into her back yard. I dug my claws into the grass to stop myself and only succeeded in spinning my back legs out in the mud and sliding into the foot of the tree I was about to climb. I quickly phased to human form then wondered if this was a good idea, if Charlie was still awake and looked out the window which image he would rather see? A giant wolf or me as naked as the day I was born?

I climbed the tree in record time, only making contact with three branches on my journey to Bella's window.

This time the house was silent and most definitely in darkness. I reached out to the window; it was slightly ajar, just enough room for me to get the tips of my fingers underneath the frame and pull it open the rest of the way. It opened easily, Charlie obviously maintained them well.

I took a last look around just to make sure there was no one hanging around the street. It was all clear; save for a cat that was having some fun toying what looked to be a small mouse. I slung my leg through the open window and pulled myself in the rest of the way..

My heart started to thump in my chest as I started to acclimatise to the smells and sounds within the room. Something was wrong, Bella was whimpering and her breathing was out of sync, something was wrong with her, was she having a nightmare? I moved to the side of her bed and stretched out my hand to wake her, she started to shift around and the quilt slid onto the floor.

The blood drained from my face so fast I felt lightheaded, her scent drifted around me like a warm mist, invading my senses and rendering me catatonic for a few seconds. Her arousal was so strong I could taste it. _What the hell?_ I scanned the length of her body, my mind frantically trying to decode the scene I was faced with. _Breathe Jake, breathe for fuck sake..._

Bella's eyes were flicking frenetically from side to side, a smile played at the corners of her mouth but her face sporadically contorted like she was in pain. I scanned further down. Her shoulders were straining against the mattress , lifting her torso clear off the bed. The noises that were now tumbling from her mouth were beautiful yet painful to hear. I wanted to sooth her, to take away whatever ache she was suffering. I reached towards her again. Suddenly she moved her hand closest to me onto her abdomen and started to stroke the bare patch of skin between her top and sweatpants. My senses were bombarded again by the smell of her wetness.

I was mesmerised, rooted to the spot and no matter how hard I tried I could not tear my eyes away from the sight before me. _**Fuck Bella, I swear to god ,if you don't stop that, I'm gonna fuck you right now.**__ Oh shit, where did that come from? _I was overcome by the urge to lie beside her on the bed and hold her as close to me as I could so I could slip my length inside her. I would have had she not at that moment slid her fingers below the waist band of her sweats and started to caress the warm moist folds between her legs. _Oh fuck I've died and gone to heaven. _Bella suddenly gasped and arched again, before continuing to slide her fingers back and forth. _Shit, this is torture_. I couldn't move, the more she groaned the heavier her pull on me became.

Her movements became frantic and she started to buck her hips to match the pace of her hand. I watched in agony as her hand descended further and she started to plunge her fingers inside herself.

"Uh... fuck... Jake...fuck..."_ Uh oh, here we go _. My mind ran riot. God damn it I wanted to push her hand out the way and replace her fingers with mine. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I could hardly breathe. I let my eyes roll back as they closed. A red mist swarmed over my mind and I was there with Bella, stoking her so deeply it was insane, sliding the fingers of my other hand over the little bump nestled at the top of her opening. Her body glistened and shone with sweat. Her stare was so intense, all I wanted to do was slip my throbbing member deep inside her and make her cum furiously. I could feel her internal walls start to flex and tighten around my fingers. She was ready.

"Uh....fuck... Jake... I'm gonna cum_"_ _She said that. Out-loud_. My eyes flashed open and I stood with my eyes fixed on Bella's tiny frame as she brought herself to climax. It was the most stunning sight I had ever seen. Her legs clenched together, thrusting her pelvis forward. Her face was angelic, peace and relief flooded across it then her body finally relaxed and She ended my torture with a gentle sigh. _God I want you so much right now_. I stood and watched as Bella slipped back into a peaceful slumber. Suddenly her eyes flicked open and she looked directly at me.

_Oh... fuck... this looks great. I've just stood here watching her masturbate_. I looked down. _With a massive hard on_. I looked her in the eye, suddenly the gravity of my actions became clear. I had violated her in the worst way possible.

"Fuck... Bella... sorry...I..." there was nothing I could say or do. I run to the window and threw myself out. I'd fucked up again.

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**Poor Jakey Boy!! **

**I like to toy with him sometimes :)**


	13. Rush BPOV

**Review Please:)**

13

Rush

I jumped out of the warm bed and dashed towards the window just in time to see Jake phase midair. He yelped as he hit the ground, sliding on the mud and rolling onto his back, "Jake! Stop!" he turned and looked at me with mournful eyes then raced into the forest.

_There is no fucking way __**he**__ is doing this to me. _I had just about had my fill of cock blockers to last me a lifetime. Edward had just about driven me insane with his dismissal of my urges and now it looked as if Jake was headed the same way, the look of disgust that spread over his face when I had woken up made me sick to the pit of my stomach. There was nothing wrong with having a sexual appetite for Christ sake.

I dropped onto the floor and searched under the bed for my sneakers. _Where the fuck are they?_ The urgency of my thoughts were taking over and panic started to creep into my psyche. The door to my bedroom swung open, I had woken Charlie with my shouting, "Bella, what the hell is going on?" I ignored his question and stretched right to the back of the space underneath my bed. I could feel the laces from my shoes just within my reach. I grappled with my fingers trying to grasp at the laces. _Come the fuck on shoes. _I wound the laces around my index finger yanking them hard; the shoes flew out hitting me on the forehead. I didn't care as soon as they were clear of the bed I started wrenching them onto my feet. I looked up at Charlie trying to come up with an excuse for why I was acting like a crazy person.

I met his stare and tried to make my mouth work but nothing would come out. He glanced over towards my fully open bedroom window. Then the penny dropped "Jake...? I'm gonna fucking kill him." He ran towards the window and poked his head out. Jake was gone, Charlie turned his glare on me. What was he expecting me to say?

My brain had seized. I shrugged and sprinted for the top of the stairs, I had to stop for a moment and make a crucial decision. _Down the banister ass first or down the stairs head first? Easy. Banister_. I slung my leg over the wooden handrail and slid the length of the stairs. Thank god the wooden stop had fallen off the week before and Charlie hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet.

I landed on my butt at the foot of the stairs and quickly jumped to my feet dashing for the front door. "Don't you dare set one foot out that door Bella" I gave Charlie an apologetic look and barged out the door. There was only one place I'd find Jake. The woods. I ran down the few steps at the side of the house and sprinted across the grass. It was really wet and my sneakers couldn't find any grip. I slid and fell on my side and frantically tried to get back up. This was beginning to play out like the last nightmare I had had.

I managed to get back onto my feet and ran again towards the woods. It was raining heavy now; my hair was plastered to my face and neck. My pyjamas were starting to soak through.

I kept running when I entered the forest, I had to try and get within ears shot of Jake.

I had run in a few hundred meters then the woods got so dark that I started to trip over the roots of tree's and fall into ditches that had been carved out by the rain fall. I stopped and shouted "Jake" I was greeted by silence but I wasn't giving up "Jake... please... come back." It was no use and I knew it. He wasn't coming back.

Was _there something wrong with me? Was being turned on by your boyfriend not normal?_

I let my self fall back onto the trunk of a large maple. _Why did things have to be so difficult? Why did Jake have to be so unpredictable?_

I slid my back down the rough bark of the trunk and settled into a seated squatting position. I hugged my legs into my body and rested my head on my knees. _Why does life need to be so fucking complicated?_ All I wanted was to love and be loved by my number one guy, Jacob; mythical beast status aside.

I felt his gentle hand on my shoulder. "Bella. I'm really sorry..." I opened my eyes and gazed at the bare, muddy feet before me, he'd came back.

Jake came to crouch in front of me, naked and beautiful. He raised my chin then played thoughtfully with a lock of my now soaking wet hair then tucked it behind my ear. He had been crying.

"Jake... what's wrong?" I searched his face for an answer, but he just dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Bells I'm so sorry, I just...I...couldn't ...when I... I didn't mean to..." Jake was struggling to get out a simple sentence. I could tell he was trying to apologise for watching me but it just wasn't happening. The look of disgust I had registered on his face back in the room had been for himself; not for me after all.

I was not ashamed for feeling the way I did about him and I was not going to make him feel ashamed for watching me feel that way.

"Jake, what are you apologising for? For watching me? Or for looking so sexy when you were doing it?" I stared at him for a moment. "You're beautiful and you've got no idea how good you make me feel." He continued to stare at the ground, his face fixed in a shameful preset.

I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. Our skins, monochromatic against each other in the fleeting moonlight. His glistened from the rain.

I gently ran my fingers up his arm. The veins were raised and his muscles strained against his umber skin; they rippled under my touch. I moved my hand along to touch the dip where his collarbones met, then slid my fingers up his neck to his strong jaw and brought them down to rest on his perfectly formed chest. Jakes expression remained fixed. I reached out and took his enormous hand in mine and trailed it along my arm, letting him feel every bump and scar along the way. His hand felt like velvet against my skin.

I slowly drew his fingers along my collar and mirrored the movement I had made against his own skin only moments before. His breathing hitched as I gently placed his hand against my chest. He resisted for a second then allowed me to graze his fingers over my breast. My nipple rose for him. "This is okay Jake." I searched his face, he slowly raised his gaze from the forest floor, I locked his eyes with mine and moved his hand to the other breast; again the nipple came alive under his touch. "This is okay" I shook my head gently then drew both his hands down my belly and rested them against the bare patch of skin above my sweats "this is okay". With my own hands I grasped the hem of my top and pulled it over my head and dropped it onto the floor.

I took his hands in mine and slid them back over my torso; placing them on my bare breasts, "this is okay" He traced his fingers over them like a gentle breeze and grazed the nubs. They tightened for him once more.

I slid my thumbs into the sides of my sweats and pulled them over my hips; letting them fall onto the mossy ground.

We were both as naked as we had been the day we were born. I took a step towards him, lay my head on his bare chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. "This is okay" He enveloped me in his embrace and brought his lips on to my shoulder. His warm tears fell and blazed a trail across my back.


	14. One good reason for cliff diving JPOV

**Hey, if you enjoy the chapter you know what to do..........REVIEW!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns it**

14

One good reason for cliff diving.

I don't know how long we stood in the rain like that; it didn't matter, it would never have been long enough. Bella was the epitome of perfect; her skin was like cream and had a velvety peach skin feel to it. I loved having her hold herself against me; she was so small and brave, doing what she was doing now. I had acted like a perverted oaf and my reward for that was this, Bella's tiny frame and satin skin wrapped around my waist and holding on for dear life. Now I had died and gone to heaven.

I found myself in a place that I had only dreamed of a few days ago. My mind reeled at how quickly things had changed in the last twenty four hours. Bella and I had gone from being best friends to being achingly infatuated with one another and everything in the world felt right; yet my heart was breaking.

How could I tell her what I had learned from the leech without all this changing? We had struggled to get this far and it now seemed fate was playing a cruel trick on us. After tonight I was certain I could never go back to living without her; without having her trust me the way she did in this moment. And that was why I was going to tell her, not because the leech had threatened me, not so I could be the 'man' and protect her, and but because in her pure heart she trusted me absolutely. She had given herself over to me and now things would never be the same. I would never betray her. Right now though, I had some apologising to do.

"Bells?"

"Uh hu?" her breath was cool against my chest.

"I'm so sorry for earlier, you know, in the room. It's just... by the time I realised what was happening it was too late." Bella let her head roll back slightly so her eyes met mine.

"Jake, don't ever apologise for that." she lifted her hand and stroked my cheek. I clasped mine over it.

"Bella It's just...something took over me back there, something I've never experienced before" Bella's look changed from one of concern to one of confusion.

"What? You've never..." she cast her eyes down and pointed in a comedy motion.

"Oh...oh yeah.. sure, sure.. in fact more often than not just recently." _Shit, all the time just recently._ My dick had become so reactive in the past few weeks it was embarrassing. Even the slightest thought of Bella in a compromising position sent the compass pointing north. The pack had been having great fun torturing me too.

Paul had been particularly graphic with one of the memories he had shared with me when we were out on patrol up by the cliff tops the other week. He had met this girl at the Hang-Up Tavern in Forks on the Saturday night and Paul, being a dog, didn't waste any time in nailing her. This was normal though for Paul though so when he started replay his doggy style screwing session with her in his head I just thought, "Great... here we go...again!" That was until the bastard replaced the girl in his memories face with Bella's, I got so hard so quick I nearly mounted a tree stump and started humping it there and then.

I phased as quick as I could to stop myself, and then I realised I'd been set up. I caught Quil and Embry poking their heads out of the tree's; pissing themselves with laughter. Fuck, I was so embarrassed I jumped off the nearest cliff just to get away from them; that, and to extinguish the fire that had set alight in my loins. No, I could assure Bella that that was not the first time I had had a boner over her.

"No...that's not what I mean; it was like I was paralysed by your scent, your excitement. I tried to look away but I couldn't. It was like I _had_ to watch you. The pull I felt towards you in those few moments was like nothing I had ever felt before, I even closed my eyes to try and block out the sight of you; to break the hold, but that only made it worse. It was like I was there with you, in your dream, touching you." Bella looked at me with wide eyes "Bella, I've seen what Sam experienced when he imprinted on Emily, and what I felt, watching you, it sort of felt kind of something like that, a bit," _stupid mumbling asshole,_ _sort of? Kind of? A bit like?_ What I was saying didn't make any sense.

Imprinting was absolute, final and not 'a bit' like something. Besides it was a love at first sight thing. Yeah I had fallen in love with Bella practically at first sight, but imprinting was different, it was pre destined. There was no way in this world I could have ever allowed Edward to get within five hundred meters of Bella, never mind get as close as he did, if I had imprinted when we first met. I was really confused. There was only one person I knew who could set this straight for me. Sam.

"What do you think that means?" Bella's eye's searched my face for an answer.

"I don't know ...We need to go and see Sam and Emily, they might be able to help us out" I pulled away from Bella and took her by the hand.

"uh...Jake? I think we might have a problem there." I turned to see what was wrong. Bella was standing with her legs twisted together, her hand covering the patch of downy hair between them.

"Oh..._ouw_... The nakedness... yep...that would be a problem" Bella giggled for a moment, blushing furiously. "yeah...hmm...now what are we going to do about that?" I wrapped my forefinger and thumb around my chin feigning deep thought.

"Oh I don't know... I could think of a few things" Bella's voice was thick and sultry. Yeah now I was sure she was trying to kill me.

"uh...uh, Bella, stop trying to tease me" I was sure I was going to regret this "besides I think we are about to get company" just then a flash light glimmered through the tree's in the direction of Bella's house.

"Oh fuck... it's Charlie. Quick. Jake. What are we gonna do? I'm getting grounded and your getting shot. Quick. Jake, come on, we need to go" Bella pulled at my arm, trying to shift my massive frame in the opposite direction from the beam of light. I quickly scanned the forest floor for Bella's little pile of clothes; they were just behind her feet. I dipped to pick them up and grasped Bella's legs close to my chest. In one swift movement I threw her over my shoulder, got the clothes and started to sprint towards La Push.

I ran for around ten minutes before Bella's kicking and struggling got the better of me. She'd taken a bit of a bashing as I had moved through the trees. Her butt had a few scratches on it where the branches had grazed her peachy skin. I wanted to bite it, but I was sure that would have done nothing to calm her.

"Jake... put me down!, i'm not a helples girl you can just toss around, god I think i'm gonna throw up!" Bella continued to wriggle on my shoulder, I now realised that in the heat of the moment, when I had slung her over my shoulder, I hadn't had the foresight to see the difficulty I would be faced with when lowering her from this position. She stared thumping on my back and protesting loudly. I tightened my grip on her legs to stop her from kneeing me in the face. I didn't want her anymore bruised than she probably already was.

"Bella, behave or I'm not going to let you down until I reach La Push, now that's almost another ten minutes with your ass in the air, so it's up to you" She continued to scratch and slap at my back. The woman was not going to calm down. So I smacked her ass.

"Ouch you big shit. That hurt" that might have been the case but at least she had stopped assaulting me.

"Now if your a good girl Bella I'll let you down, but if you hit at me once more you're gonna be up there all night" I tried hard to contain my laughter. She relaxed against me.

Removing angry Bella from my shoulder was going to be quite a feet in it's self. I had to navigate my way around her, so none of her delicate parts became too much of a temptation. I gently pulled her legs away from my torso so she could slide forward slightly; I placed my hands firmly above her butt and pulled her again. Now she was able to wrap her arms around my neck. I turned my head towards her neck and had a sneaky sniff at her.

Bella had a smell for each emotion it turns out. This was a fiery scent like poppies on a hot summer day, but it was angry mixed with something else. Horny. I trailed my nose along her jaw. Oh yeah, definitely horny.

She huffed in my ear as I slid her down the length of my torso. Her body moulded to mine like it was made to fit me. She stared into my eyes with fury; she was so cute when she was angry. I slid her further down my body and held her just above my growing member. I knew I was going to have to pay for this by my own hand, but I couldn't resist seeing the rosy shade of fury her cheeks would glow. I slipped my hands down her back and firmly grabbed her ass, pulling her down and grinding her warmth into my hard on. Shock registered on her face, then she blanched, then quick as lightning she wrapped her legs around me and locked herself down on me, rubbing herself the length of my member.

"ooh...yeh...Jake...babe" she continued to slide herself over my erection until I felt like I was about to explode. Then she stopped and looked deep into my eyes. "Jake?" I couldn't speak let alone move. "don't ever smack my ass again, unless I invite you to" with that she flashed me a grin and peeled herself from me.

I had made a fatal mistake. I had underestimated the wrath of Bella.


	15. Unblocked BPOV

**Major Lemon warning you've been warned **

**Stephenie Meyer Owns it. I'm just playing with them, nicely! :)**

* * *

15

Unblocked

I can't believe he just slapped my ass. It was bad enough that he had man handled me onto his shoulder (resulting in me almost puking down his back) in an attempt escape Charlie, but to slap my ass? I was going to get him back for that.

It wasn't like my legs were detached from my brain or anything; I could have run quite happily myself. Well ok, maybe I would have had a broken ankle by now but at least I could have tried. Jake hadn't given me a chance, he did what Edward would have done, he took over to save poor little helpless Bella. When were people going to realise that I really didn't need protecting? At least not from humans; and especially not from Charlie. Now Jake... he was another story, he did need protecting from Charlie.

Jake started to manoeuvre me so I could get off his shoulder, warning me that if I didn't behave he wasn't going to let me down_. Ok I'll behave... for now_. I was so angry with him for the slap and embarrassed that he was laughing at me now. _Oh just you wait Jacob Black, revenge is a dish best served hot. _I felt his breath warm against my neck; he was tasting my scent again, I could tell. Jacob seemed to loose himself momentarily every time he did that, I caught his eyes with mine and gave him a seething look. I was really pissed off.

I was just was just about to extend my legs so Jake could lower me onto the ground, when I saw something in his eyes that told me that whatever he was thinking, Jacob Black was up to no good. Before I could react in self defence he quickly slid his hands onto my butt and pulled me hard against his hips trapping his member between my soft folds and his abdomen. He was way beyond pushing his luck. With a smug look of humour on his face he started to grind my core against his erection, skilfully avoiding penetrating me. Don't get me wrong it was heaven, but I had a score to settle. Jake was about to find out how cock sure I was.

I clamped my legs around him like a vice, no matter how big and strong he was there was no way he was getting out of this. Slowly and easily I started to slide myself along the length of his shaft and, for tortures sake, I was not going to be quite as care full at avoidance as he had been. I traversed the full length of him, allowing the head of his penis to rest momentarily just outside my opening. I wanted so much to just take the tip inside myself. But I knew it wouldn't be enough. I would relent and end up fucking Jacob into a pile of dust the way I was feeling. Then he would win. And I wasn't having that.

I could tell he was really into the swing of things and he was getting close. _I should crank this up a notch._ For some reason a line my Drama teacher had said to me once sprung to the front of my mind. _Vocalise Bella, Vocalise, it gives added effect._

"Ooh...yeah...Jake...babe" this did the trick, a few more strokes and Jake would be ready to go over the top. His eyes rolled back in his head and he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, then his eyes tightened shut. _This must be it_. I stopped dead in his arms. His body seized stiff as a board. "Jake?" he pried his eyes open. I stifled a giggle and donned a serious face "don't ever smack my ass again, unless I invite you to" then I grinned as wide as I could before quickly removing myself form his clutches. I stood back and surveyed the devastation, Then Jake realised what had just happened.

"Oh...oh...ooh...you evil little..." Jake looked visibly pained but he managed to lurch towards me, I was expecting it and dived out of his range.

"Uh uh, Jakey, that's what you get for being a bad boy and slapping me and then teasing me." I shook my finger at him.

"Ooh... Bella... that was nasty" He bent over trying to draw cold air into his lungs, gently laughing and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Jake, you know, I'm not completely incapable of fending for myself, its time you and everyone else realised that, I could have run some of the way here myself, you didn't need to take over like that" he looked at me with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Okay, where'd that come from?" I shifted my eyes to a near by pine tree, avoiding the inevitable look of hurt that was about to appear on Jacobs face.

"Edward always used to do that, take over and try to protect me whenever there was the slightest chance of something mildly risky happening to me. It drove me insane Jake and now I can see that it wasn't for my benefit, it was so he always remained in control" I glanced up at Jacobs face. It was dead still, his eyes were closed. "That's not why I chose you, I chose you because you let me take risks, get hurt, fall down, and smack my head off rocks when I fall of motorcycles. You don't need to be responsible for me" what I was saying sounded stupid. I was a walking danger magnet for Christ sake. That had been proven already. But I wanted Jake not Edward.

"Jake you know what I'm like; I could find danger in a padded cell. I don't ever want you to feel responsible for my safety, it will drive you mental."

"Bella I only wanted to get us away from Charlie's line of sight and quick, I never thought for a minute you would be upset"

I was totally overreacting and not to mention, still completely butt naked; though strangely that hadn't occurred to me during my rant. I felt completely exposed now, but more than that I was embarrassed by my display towards Jake. I knew fine well he hadn't meant to upset me but the words just fell out of my mouth.

"Listen Bella we need to get to La Push and I don't know about you but this rain is really starting to annoy me so I wanna get there pretty quick, so you can ether hop in my back and we're there in like ten minutes or we can walk and it will take us around two hours, so what's it gonna be?"

"Just let me put my clothes back on then we will go." I reached towards Jakes hand to take my crumpled, wet pyjamas from him. He stretched out his hand as if to hand them to me and gently caught my wrist with the other. His eyes roamed over my body as he pulled me in close and brought his lips tenderly onto mine. He kissed me briefly before releasing me and handing me the damp pieces of material.

I hated the thought of wearing the wet items but I didn't have any other options. I couldn't go home and change, just as much as I couldn't go to Sam and Emily's butt naked. Jake picked up on my thoughts "You will be able to change when we get to mine; Rachel left loads of stuff in her closet when she moved away to college." I had replaced my top and was about to take my bottoms from him, when he caught my wrist again, catching my eye. "Let me" he said. I gave him a quizzed look before relenting and handing him the wet mush that was my pyjama bottoms back. I watched as he shook them out and held them close to his chest. He chuckled for a moment whilst he took in my look of confusion. "Built in central heating Bells, they won't be dry but at least they'll be warm" I laughed along with him.

"Yeah... I never thought of that" I looked at him shyly "Thanks"

"Come here" he held out the bottoms for me to step into, I moved towards him as he dropped onto his knees, securing his eyes on mine, a smile played at the side of his mouth.

Having his face in such proximity to my centre sent quivers radiating through my thighs. Why did he have to have such an intense effect on me? I only had to look Jake in the eyes and my legs started turning to jelly. _God he's so hot._ I stepped in closer lifting my foot to place it into the waiting warm bottoms. Jakes eyes never left mine as I manoeuvred myself into them. "You okay?" I nodded my head in agreement then he stared to pull them up, grazing my skin intermittently as he pulled them over my knees and up my thighs, his touch sending my nerves into a frenzied dance, he paused before pulling them fully up and ran his hands over my hips bringing his large hands to rest on my butt. He searched my face for consent. I closed my eyes to savour the sensations that were coursing through me. Jake ran his nose slowly and gently across the sensitive skin bellow my navel. The muscles there contracted and spasmed causing me to draw back involuntarily. Jakes grip tightened as he repeated the motion across to the hip and planted a warm, wet kiss. He traversed the patch again to the opposite hip and placed another kiss there, this time the motion raised goose bumps all over me, I shivered with excitement as he brought his nose to rest in the centre of my belly. Then he trailed his nose down towards my waiting core. My breathing soared and became ragged as I anticipated the torrent of sensations that I was so close to experiencing. Jake brought his lips firmly onto my mound and kissed it as he had with my hips. He brought his eyes back to mine. "Wow... Bella... you have no idea how much I want to touch you right now."

"D...Do it" I was shivering and shaking so violently I could hardly form the words

"Bella, you lips are blue" I looked at him for a moment trying to decipher what he was saying. Was there something wrong with me? Were my lips abnormal? "You're frozen if we don't go now you're gonna end up with hypothermia" then it dawned on me. He was talking about the lips on my face.

Jake pulled up my bottoms the rest of the way and fastened the ribbon tightly before he turned away from me and stooped down "here...jump on; it will be quicker, and warmer." I could hardly move my hands from my sides I was so cold. The rain was still battering down around us and was quickly turning icy cold. Jake grabbed my arms and pulled me gently onto his back. I clamped my limbs around his torso and savoured the heat radiating from him. I closed my eyes and held on for life.

Just as Jake had said we made La Push in less than ten minutes, he ran like the wind this time; smoothly and gently, not like floating or anything more like gliding over the terrain, following its ebb and flow.

Jake stopped when we reached Sam and Emily's back yard. The house was in darkness; Jake stood and listened for a moment. "They must still be at the bonfire, these things can go on all night" I continued to shiver and tremble against Jakes back. "Okay I'm gonna take you to mine and you can get warmed up there whilst I go track down Sam. He turned and ran south towards the little red house he shared with Billy; we were there within a minute.

This house was also in darkness; Jake showed me through the front door into the living room and directed me towards the tiny bathroom. "Bella you jump in the shower and I'll go get you a towel and something to wear. He turned about and went straight to Rachel's room, the one next to the bathroom.

I peeled the sodden clothes off of my mottled body and draped them over the ancient pine towel rail; I stepped into the shower and turned the handle hard to the right. The water sputtered as it forced its way through the air locked pipes. I knew the initial blast from the jets would be cold but I was certain that they would be warmer than the surface temperature of my skin.

The water ricochet off of my body and sent a swirling mist into the air around me. Even though the water system as verging on dilapidated it still projected deep massaging jets against my frozen body, tempting the blood back to my extremities and the surface of my skin. I was broken from my thoughts by the bathroom door creaking open.

"Bella...There's a towel for you on top of the laundry basket and I've laid some of Rachel's stuff out on my bed for you, I'm going to go and find Sam and see if he can shed any light on those things I was talking about earlier."

"Okay... Do you want me to come find you when I'm dressed?" I replied.

"No, you just make yourself right at home, I won't be long" with that he gently closed the door and left to track down his friend.

After standing in the hot jets for around twenty minutes I finally found that my joints had unlocked themselves from their frozen position and I was finally able to wash myself down.

Once I had removed all evidence of our time in the forest I reluctantly shut off the shower and stepped gingerly onto the cold linoleum floor. Jake had left what I had expected was the only feminine looking towel in the house for me. It was a thick pink number with a flowing floral pattern around the edge. I wrapped it around me and padded my way along the hall to Jakes bedroom. He had quickly tidied up before he left. I could tell the way the comforter was haphazardly arranged on the bed, and the way some of his clothing poked out from under the bed. I shook my head and laughed quietly to myself. No one could accuse Jake of not making an effort. I pulled on the stripped brushed cotton pyjama's he had left for me on the bed. They were anything but sexy but my god they were cosy. I immediately felt warmer in them.

I pulled back the comforter on Jakes single bed and lay down on my side, hugging my knees against my body. I pulled the cover over my head and drew in a lung full of air. It was heavy with Jakes scent. I was safe and warm. Yet I had a nagging feeling I was being watched. Exhaustion probably.

oooOooOooOooOooo

I can' t remember falling asleep, but it seemed that I had only just drifted over when I was awoken by Jake trying hard to close the bedroom door as quietly as he could.

"Sorry Bells. You felling better now?" I gave him a sleepy smile and nodded my head.

"Much better, did you get Sam?" he came and sat on the edge of the bed beside me before turning his gaze towards me.

"Yeah, I spoke to both him and Emily, I didn't give any details though, just the facts of the way I felt drawn to you."

"And? What did they say?" Jake turned his back to me and slouched forwards rubbing the heels of his hands against his weary eyes.

"Sam seems to think, my uncertainty about the situation, you know..." he paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "Sam says that the feeling of imprinting is definite, so definite that I wouldn't need to ask any one if it had happened." He stopped rubbing his eyed and just sat quietly with his head in his hands. He had been hoping I would be his imprint. It would make things so much easier; we wouldn't need to wait for it to sneak up on us later.

"Bella, there's something else I need to tell you, something I should have told you earlier." I felt panic rise in my spine. I wanted to run away. I could tell whatever it was it was going to be bad by the tone of his voice. "The Cullen's are back" I could feel the blood rush to my ears trying to drown out the information I was receiving.

"What? When?" My breath quickened and I started to feel light headed. Why was I reacting like this?

The news was so unexpected I had smashed face first into a fully blown panic attack.

"We only know for certain the small female one is there" Jacobs tone was one of defeat.

"Alice? Why?" I couldn't fathom out why she was back.

"She came back to warn you of some kind of danger you might be in" he raised his head and turned towards me.

"You...you spoke to her? And you didn't tell me" I could sense the fury building inside my brain as I deciphered what he was telling me.

"Bella I couldn't. Sam ordered me not to, I had to beg him to let me tell you just there. I don't want any secrets between us," I turned my anger towards Sam

"Trust Sam to let the fucking alpha status go to his head." I was on a roll now; everyone within striking distance was going to pay for this. I rose up on the bed and swung my foot onto the floor. Jake caught me by the wrist and pulled me hard back onto the bed.

"Bella it's not his fault. He did it so we could have a chance." Jake was straining the words through his teeth. "now sit your ass down and listen to me for a minute." Despite my anger I sat back down in the middle of the bed. "Now I asked you last night if Edward returning would change things between us and you told me it wouldn't, so what's different now?" Nothing had changed with my feelings for Jake, I was just angry that the Cullen's and probably Edward might be returning now after all these months of torture. I was angry because they didn't care when they left so why should they care now?

Yet again though I was acting like an asshole towards the one person who never let me down.

"Jake nothing has changed that. I choose you, now and for as long as you want me." I wrapped my arms around his muscular back and rested my chin on his shoulder. "I love _you_ now" I closed my eyes and listened as his hear rate returned to its steady thrumming rhythm. "I love you" I whispered.

A deafening silence descended over the room.

Jake rolled his knees onto the floor so that he could face me. He swept some strands of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek in his massive warm hand and bringing his lips onto the pulse spot on my neck. He sucked the skin there sending chills rippling lightly over my head and down my back. I sighed as he repeated the motion down my neck and across my collarbone. Jake leaned into me increasing the pressure of his kisses from feathery to gentle; I pulled his face up to meet mine and placed my lips on his. I hungered for his taste.

I could feel his warm breath heavy on my face when I surrendered to him. His lips moulded onto mine with passion and anticipation that neither of us was strong enough to fight any longer. I teased his lips apart by gently pulling at them with my teeth. He snaked his tongue into my mouth and circled mine with a heavenly fire. I sucked at the tip as our kiss deepened. Jake growled gently as if to warn me against idle teasing; but this time there was no purpose for me to tease him.

I lay back against the bed and tugged at Jake to lie beside me. He placed his fevered hand onto my bare stomach and started to draw tiny circles. I broke the kiss to watch his skilful hands at work. He sat up and straddled my hips so he could slip his fingers underneath the buttons and tease them open. I marvelled at how nimble his touch was considering the size of his fingers. He stared into my eyes as he removed each button, checking for a change in my face, a glint of mischief that would signal that I was playing with him; but there was none.

He grazed my breast with the back of his hand and my nipple reacted to his touch with such a force it took my breath away. He dropped his head and took it fully in his mouth administering tiny flicks of his tongue to it, sending shocks down through me that resonated within my clitoris. I moaned gently as a pool of wetness dampened the pyjama bottoms I was wearing. Jake breathed in my arousal and it halted him momentarily before he turned his attention to my other breast.

He lapped at the fleshy skin below my nipples and gently grazed the area with his teeth. I drew my fingers into his hair and tugged as he started to descend. Jakes eyes flicked open and watched me intently as I relented and ran my fingers through his shorn hair. He gently closed his eyes and continued his journey down to my fleshy centre, only stopping to place a scorching kiss wherever he seen fit. I felt his fingers begin to play around the waistband of the pyjama bottoms and I gasped with pleasure as he rolled his tongue under the band as he had in the dream. I raised my hips and he swiftly removed my last remaining barrier. I was naked with Jake for the second time in twenty four hours. Only this time I was sure this scenario was going to have a different outcome than the last.

Jake stood for a moment and pulled his tee shirt over his head in one gliding movement. His body glinted in the darkness; his perspiration only enhanced his chissled torso. He lazily unbuckled this belt and undid the button on his jeans, watching me, watching him.

He dropped to his knees at the side of the bed and pushed mine up towards my chest before pulling my hips to the edge of the bed and parting my legs so that I lay open for him like an orchid in bloom. I raised myself onto my elbows determined to watch as Jake lowered his head to my centre, I knew I wouldn't see much more after that.

My legs quivered and my heart rate soared. Waiting for his touch. My core ached for him.

He cupped my mound with his hand gently before he began. "Bella...are you sure?" All the youth in Jakes voice was gone and it was replaced by the gravelly undertones of a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. I didn't need to tell him; he knew this was my first time. I nodded and hung my head back awaiting his touch. "Bella... I want you to watch me" I raised my head again and locked my eyes with his.

He slid his long fingers along the length of my slick opening, watching my reaction intently, trying to gauge my preferences. I arched and gasped as his fingers grazed my clitoris sending waves of pleasure rolling off me; then he parted my fleshy lips with his thumbs and lowered his head to make contact with his tongue. My moans escaped. "Uh...Jake..." It was heaven.

His soft, warm tongue circled the little nub sending tiny shockwaves deep into my pelvis and blood rushing to my head. Wetness flooded from within me as he reached up and caressed my breasts again. He increased the pressure with his tongue and I felt my hips lift subtly off the bed. He rocked his tongue against me and I expelled gentle sighs as my hips rose and fell for him.

Jake run his fingers the length of my core, softening and massaging my entrance before sliding a single finger inside me and replacing his tongue with a finger on either side of my clit. He caressed me with such sensitivity I could have cried. He stoked my walls incessantly slowly and gently, encouraging them to relax. I spilled for him again. He slid in a second and repeated his ministrations, I gasped in pleasure and pain, "Bella I'm sorry... I have to...or I won't be able to..." he let his sentence trail off. He stoked me deeply with his two fingers until I was almost ready to cum; then he placed a gentle kiss on against my mound and manoeuvred himself off the floor. He removed his jeans and shorts before spreading me further with his knees, raising my butt of the bed and resting me on his bended knee. I didn't look at the size of him. I knew if I did I wouldn't let him go any further. I would be scared. I had seen his swollen member in the forest earlier, but I knew that was only a glimpse of what I was about to get.

I could hear the level of Jakes excitement in the short ragged breaths that escaped from him as he rubbed his cock along my wet lips in an attempt to lubricate it. I reached my hand down and firmly stroked the length of his throbbing member. I felt it begin to ooze at the end and I ran his fluid over the sensitive head with my fingers. Jake moaned softly at my touch.

He grasped at my thighs and pulled back slightly before settling the head of his penis against the opening. He rocked against my core momentarily teasing it open, before he pushed the head fully inside and stopped abruptly. I watched as he bit hard on his lower lip, trying to contain the animal that was threatening to tear him apart.

He slowly began to inch forward until he met resistance from my barrier. He slid what little of his shaft he had inside me, in and out of my wet core waiting for my muscles to relax again; and then he leaned into me and whispered "god Bella...I love you" and then he pushed forwards against me until he burst through my resistance, I cried out in pain as he gently glided himself in and out, again and again, until he almost filled me, all the time he whispered "I'm sorry Bella...fuck, I'm so sorry." Over and over.

The burning pain quickly subsided and was replaced by a feeling of pleasure that I had only glimpsed at before. I raised my hips up to meet him but not the full way. The heat from his member helped to relax my internal muscled enough for him to almost sheath himself fully inside me. But I wasn't big enough for him I tried to force myself hard up against him but I could feel Jake holding back, he needed to go deeper.

"I want you deeper Jake" I breathed in his ear. He ran his hand into the crook of my knee and lifted me slightly off the bed whilst he pushed my other leg wider with his knee. He continued to thrust himself inside me. I could feel every vein and bump along his shaft, breaking me in as he deepened his thrusts until I found myself gushing wetness over his member , I flushed as I felt it trickle over both of us and settled in a pool just under my butt.

Jake began to loose his fight with hiself and began to thrust himself deep into my aching centre, so deeply it sent painful shudders through my abdomen. The pleasure continued to build despite the pain and I started to cry out and moan loudly as Jake fucked me with all his being.

With his free hand He gripped my shoulder and pulled me down against him thrusting deeper each time. My climax was building furiously, I needed to have him touch my nub and finish me off. "Jake touch me please, just one more time" I pleaded with him. He settled his fingers onto the sensitive mound and stoked it gently and he thrust himself deeper and deeper into me. I cried out as the pleasure became so intense that I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Uh...fuck... Jake... I'm gonna cum" he continued to thrust as hard as he could as I felt my internal muscles begin to clamp down on his throbbing hard shaft. Just as I was about to succumb, I felt his girth thicken as he pulled me hard against himself; spilling red hot cum inside my pulsating walls. I came so hard I nearly passed out.

Fucking with Jake was heaven.

He breathed heavily into my ear for a few moments after he came. "Uh...Bells... that was...Fucking amazing" his head collapsed onto my shoulder and we both started to chuckle with laugher at the monumental under statement and cheesiness of Jake's post coital statement.

Fucking amazing didn't nearly cover it.

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	16. The Chain of Events JPOV

**So Sorry it took me so long to post. I returned to work this week after the summer break so it's been heavy going for a while, hopefully I will be able to get a few chapters down over the weekend and be able to post more often. Thanks to every everyone who's clicked and reviewed.**

**I really stressed over the last chapter and have scince edited it, despite the content I did't want it to come across as sleazy, hot=YES, sleazy=NO, so have another look and tell me what you think. The changes are really subtle but hopefully they will have the effect I wanted. I value all your input and sugestions.**

**This next chapter was quite difficult to write, How do you follow an amazing night with Jake? Hmm... Follow it with an intimate morning? IDK I wish I did though.**

**When I wrote the first two parts of this chapter (***)I listened to the song KISSING YOU by DES'RE on repeat. So if you can, I would suggest you do the same whilst reading it, it really adds to the chapter.**

**Enjoy!!!**

**S Meyer owns the Characters and all things Twilight.**

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16

The chain of Events

We lay for a while, tangled in a mass of limbs and love.

As we lay I traced the tips of my fingers over Bella's back and shoulders. A subtle electrical charge hummed between the opposing surfaces. I moved to skim the length of her body and, despite her warmth, a trail of goose bumps told of the journey my fingers had taken. The steady thump of her heart quickened as my lips and nose followed the same path, tasting and breathing in every elusive aroma that layered her milky white skin.

She watched quietly as I caressed the inside of the bend of her elbow and trailed light kisses to her wrist before I settled her arm above her head and traced the gentle slope of her breast with my lips and grazed my hand across her waist. I stopped briefly to kiss her hip and traverse her soft peachy butt, I gave it a gentle squeeze and watched as her skin quickly bound back to its flawless flow. She chuckled softly at my curiosity.

Her breathing caught as I glided my lips along her thigh to the nook behind her knee and I smiled inwardly as we both remembered how the slightest movement of such a seemingly insignificant part of Bella's anatomy had given us access to each others souls, I rested there and kissed it gratefully before thanking god for the miracle of knees.

I continued to explore every inch of her until I heard her hushed snores, then I watched as she slept. Her breath, slow and even.

I swear I had never seen true beauty until tonight.

oooOooOooOooOooo

It was the sunlight pouring through the thin drapes that hung over my bedroom window, that finally woke me from the best dream of my life, at least I was sure it had been a dream until Bella's tiny frame shifted in my arms. I hugged her close to me and basked in the feel of her skin against mine. She shifted in my arms again, turning herself in towards my chest and shielding her eyes. I pulled the top sheet from the bed over our heads, creating a translucent cocoon for us to hide from the early morning rays. There was coolness in the air that had a calming quality to it.

After a few moments I noticed the change in Bella's breathing that signalled she was beginning to stir. I leaned into her and planted a kiss on her forehead; she peeked one of her eyes open and squinted at me through her long lashes. "Hey, you." she yawned as she stretched herself out next to me.

"Morning beautiful" I whispered as I brushed back a few strands of hair from her face. "You sleep okay?" she placed her hand on my cheek and looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Like a baby, though I had a wicked dream last night, very vivid, very...nice." She smirked as I rolled into her and brushed my lips against her neck.

"Oh…yeah you wanna tell me about that one?"

"Well you see it was about this dark, handsome guy…" I started to laugh as she put her 'sexy' voice on to tell me all about her 'fucking amazing' dream from last night.

Her soft pink lips beckoned me and I leaned forward and grazed my lips against them. She wrapped her lithe arms around my neck and pulled herself up to meet me; I caught her knee and hitched it up onto my hip, drawing her in close to me as we deepened our kiss.

Bella giggled softly as she wrestled against me. I pinned her hands above her head and ran my nose along her neck and over her breast, I released her when she relaxed under my grip and I inched my nose down the little valley between her abs towards her navel. She sighed and run her fingers into my hair as I continued to descend. Her touch shot tremors rippling through my shoulders.

***

BANG, BANG, BANG.

The bedroom door shook in its frame.

"JAKE...JACOB? You up? I need to speak to you" it was Billy and he sounded pretty pissed "I want you in the kitchen. Five minutes" I listened as he rolled his way towards the kitchen.

"Uh oh. What do you think that was about?" Bella whispered even though Billy was well out of earshot.

"I dunno…, but I've got a good idea," I huffed. I knew by the fact that Billy hadn't attempted to enter my room, exactly what the problem was. I sat up and searched for my jeans, they were laying a crumpled heap on the floor where I had dropped them last night. I pulled them on and checked myself out in the mirror. My hair was stuck flat to my head so I gave it a ruffle and glanced over to Bells. She was lying on the bed with the sheet pulled up so high I could only see her eyes peeking over the top. Her hair fanned out over the pillow like a halo. I shook my head and chuckled, then pulled the door open and went to face the music.

Billy eyeballed me as I entered the kitchen, even I wasn't stupid enough to dive head first into this conversation. I strode over and grabbed the kettle before making my way over to the faucet and filling it half way. I placed it on the stove. Billy's eyes never left me as I fetched three cups out of the cupboard. "You want coffee?" _Here goes._

"Jake, do you wanna explain to me why Charlie turned up at Sues at two thirty this morning ranting and raving about you being in Bella's room and her running off in the middle of the night?" I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head as he waited for me to reply to a question he already knew the answer to.

I fetched the coffee canister from the shelf and started to spoon out the contents into the cups. The milk was already on the counter top; I splashed some in behind the coffee before hitching myself up to sit by the waiting cups.

"Jake, what the hell's going on? Charlie is going out of himself with worry." I thought carefully before I replied.

"Dad, Bella spent the night here, though I know you already know that. After me and the guys went on patrol last night we picked up a strong vamp stink right here in La Push, so we followed it and…"

"I know the story Jake, Paul, Embry and Quil filled me in. It still doesn't explain what the hell Bella's doing here." He was right. I started to squirm as I realized there was no way I could ever explain the chain of events that brought her here or tell him the reason why she was still in fact here, in my bed, all soft and warm. _Hmm._

"JAKE, _son_, you need to call Charlie now and tell him where she is or I'm pretty sure he's gonna come knocking whenever he can get a free minute from work." He was right, the last thing I wanted was for Charlie to have to come looking for us and ruin our buzz by shouting and hauling Bella into the cruiser against her will. I wouldn't be able to contain myself if he did; I knew that much for sure.

I jumped down off the counter as the kettle started to boil; I lifted it and sloshed the water into the three waiting cups. "I'll phone him directly after this okay." I handed a cup to Billy, he looked really rough, it had been an all-nighter "You keep everyone up all night with your lame stories again?" I smirked at Billy as he chuckled to himself and shook his head.

"I'll give you this much Jake, you've either got balls of steel or are exceptionally stupid, getting yourself caught in the chief of police's daughters bedroom in the middle of the night" he raised his hand and I slapped him a high five. It was an immature move but Billy had that sort of _guy_ sense of humor. Concern flashed across his face "You're being careful, right?"

"Yeah…course" I lied. That little matter had been _way_ at the back of my mind last night. I'd need to talk to Bella about that later. My little fib did the trick, relief swept over Billy's face.

"Alright then, you better go tell Bella it's safe to come out now. That way you can phone Charlie together."

"Oh…har har. That's a good one, you got me!" I feigned a belly laugh, shot him a death stare and lifted the remaining two cups before I headed back to Bella and bed.

As I creaked the door open I heard Bella let out a frightened little squeak. "Jeez Jake you almost frightened me half to death," she whispered.

"It's okay you don't need to whisper Billy knows you're here" she moved to punch me on the shoulder and then quickly thought better of it, instead she examined the back of her hand, remembering the last time she took a swing at me.

"What do you mean 'Billy' knows? Oh no he was in the house last night when we…Jake tell me he didn't hear us._ Please" _Bella's face had turned scarlet and she started to wring her hands. I grasped them in mine and kissed her knuckles.

"Bella calm down, he just got home from Sam's. Everyone had headed over there last night after the rain came on." She flopped backwards onto my bed and covered her eyes with her hands.

"I'd better go phone Charlie then, get it over and done with" she flapped her hands down on the bed before heaving herself up like a sulking child. I handed her the cup of coffee.

"Here… it's an eye popper, thought you might need it." She took the cup gratefully and slugged at the hot coffee. "So, what are your plans for the rest of the day? After you phone Charlie that is."

"I don't know I suppose it depends on what he says. He was really angry after we left the bonfire last night. I'm sure he won't be any better this morning." As she stood up to leave the room she handed me the empty coffee cup and pulled at me to go with her. She led the way out of the room.

I run hot water into the kitchen sink as Bella made the phone call out in the hall. I listened as she started to speak frantically into the receiver. I know…dad I'm sorry… it's just…uh yes…well it's hard for him… well he didn't know that did he... how long… A MONTH...no way… fine I'll be right over," my heart sank "what? Right… okay see you after seven then…okay bye" she looked at the phone in disbelief for a moment before replacing it on the cradle.

"How was he?" I asked. I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"You know what, Charlie Swan is a law unto himself, I'm grounded for a month but I'm allowed visitors and I don't need to go home until seven tonight, he's going to be fishing until then" she scrunched her nose up in confusion.

"See I told you it wouldn't be too bad. Was he mad at you?"

"Jacob Black you said no such thing to me, and no he wasn't too bad towards me, but you better run and hide because if he isn't mad at me ,that means _your_ dead" she giggled as I pulled a comedy grimace. "Yeah, well it wouldn't be that if he was here right now." She was right. I really didn't want to fight with Charlie, a bit of space might be necessary. I could do that, even if it did mean me running for the hills feigning fear.

"So, anyways I was thinking maybe we could take the bikes down the beach, maybe see if we can't get you to bust your head on some rocks, feel the freedom, you know," I snorted.

Bella grinned at the thought then quickly replied, "Jake that would be great. But don't joke about my clumsiness, that's never a good idea"

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	17. The Beach BPOV

**Okay this one is a little 's behaviour becomes very OOC, for good reason.**

**If this had been an episode of Friends it would be called " The one where Bella grows a backbone"**

**Stephenie Meyer has the rights. The imagination is all mine.**

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17

The Beach

I really wanted to get out of there before Billy made a reappearance. We were taking the bikes down to the beach today; we hadn't been on them for what seemed like forever and I was really looking forward to it. I had become pretty good - even if I say so myself. I hadn't fallen in over a month and I don't remember the last time I had been rushed to hospital. Though, that was because I had got a concussion and couldn't remember the whole journey.

Jake had tried to drive me to the emergency room with one hand on the steering wheel and the other clapped to my forehead trying to hold the gash shut. I remember the blood running into my eyes and the look of horror on Jakes face as he realised I was going to bleed all over the Rabbit's light coloured interior. Then I vomited anyway and passed out. I'm sure he hadn't quite forgiven me for that one.

Every now and then he had cussed and sworn that he was going to ceremoniously burn 'the fuckers' at the next bonfire. The bikes however were still intact, and in fact sitting all cosy and comfy underneath some heavy tarpaulins in Jakes shed. Perhaps he had thought it would not seem fitting to chuck them on Harry's funeral pyre. I giggled as I imagined the scene. Two bikes toasting in the bonfire, handle bars sticking out of the flames like the horns of two roasting buffalo. Jake dancing around like a mad man whilst the La Push people looked on in shock.

Jake looked at me with confusion, "hmm...random laughter around large pieces of machinery is never a good sign Bella, there are places for people who do that you know." He smirked at me and shook his head.

"Whatever! Are we running these down or riding them?" I asked.

"It's up to you but you might wanna walk them down, we've not been on them for a while and it can get pretty steep on the way down."

I was desperate to get on my bike already, but he was right; I would probably forget which lever was the break was and go sailing head first over a cliff.

Jake hauled the first bike out of the garage and held it out for me to grab onto the handles. I would never get used to how heavy they were. I had to push all my weight against it just it to keep it upright. Jake however handled them like rag dolls.

He pulled the other one free of the tarpaulin and dragged it out into the sunlight. He smiled at my feeble attempt to keep the bike upright, then reached over and held it still whilst I repositioned myself to take over again. "You know I could take both or we could come back for this one if you want, save you from popping a vein or something." No, I didn't want. I was perfectly capable of pushing the bloody thing down a hill for Christ sake.

I shot him my best shit eating grin and politely replied "No, thank you Jacob, I think I can manage, thanks." Laughter grumbled in his chest as he watched me fight with the beast. The shit wouldn't move and I was getting redder by the second.

"Eh...Bells -just a thought- um... you might wanna kick that little stand thingy that's digging into the ground away." Jake turned his attention to his bike and my cheeks scorched as I realised he had caught me in the act of being such a girl. I hadn't thought to raise the eff-ing kick stand before I tried to move the eff-ing thing.

There was a thick sod of earth stuck to the bottom of it. I leaned over and picked the dirt away then gave the stand a swift kick.

A blinding pain shot through my toe and a sickening crunch followed quickly behind it. I tried to hide the pain in my face with limited success. My eyes clamped shut and I cussed inwardly. I had kicked it in the wrong direction and had spectacularly broken my big toe, at least that's what it felt and sounded like. I quickly tried to regain my composure before Jake realised the extent of my stupidity.

I grimaced as the pain in my foot settled into a low burn. Slowly I moved to my other to kick the stand back; the correct way this time. It wouldn't budge. Between my trying to move it with the stand down and then my kicking it, I had managed to somehow buckle the little piece of metal underneath the frame of the bike. I huffed. _There goes an afternoon on the bikes. I really wanted to go too. Hmph...Trust me to mess it up._

The thought of going out on the bikes had kept my focus off the little discussion I had had with Jake last night, now it was starting to creep back into my psyche.

The Cullen's were back, well at least Alice was. I desperately wanted to speak to her, and despite my feelings of anger towards them I wanted to know they were okay, to know every one of them was okay.

Jake realised I was having a problem; he turned his attention to me and the bike. "Everything okay Bells?"

"No...I think I've jammed the stand some how." Jake examined the mangled piece of metal.

"Hmm...Yeah...Bells. You've killed it." He read the embarrassment and disappointment on my face, then he shot me one of his huge grins, "'s okay, we can go play on mine, I don't mind sharing, I'll even give you first go," he teased.

I bit my lip and squirmed a bit. "Sorry Jake, I'm such a klutz, you should never let me near machinery, of any kind. Seriously, it's like I'm jinxed or something." He laughed gently at my rambling, shaking his head then pulled the bike back towards his workshop and bounced the door shut before returning to me and planting a warm kiss on my forehead.

"You okay?" He looked at me with concern.

"Yeah I banged my toe on the stand that's all." I played the incident down.

We started to make our way down the sandy track towards First.

Jake pulled the bike down the track ahead of me whilst I struggled to keep up with him for most of the way. It wasn't that he was steaming off ahead; it was that I was trying to hobble along pretending that my toe was fine, and that was taking time.

I wanted to spend as much time alone with Jake as possible today; I was grounded for a month and that drastically diminish any alone time we might have been looking forward to. If I told Jake I thought it was broken, he would whip me to the hospital quicker than I could blink then all we could look forward to was three hours sitting in a waiting room. I could cope with the pain just for the extra time with Jake before the lockdown began.

We were just heading onto the beach when I noticed Mike Newton's moms SUV sitting alone in the car park. Eric, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Angela and Mike were all suiting up to go catch some waves. _Masochists_.

Jake hadn't even noticed them and he continued to run the bike across the sand.

Angela had noticed me and called over, "Hey Bella!" She was waving her hand like crazy; I pretended not to notice them and lowered my eyes to the beach. "Bella!" She wasn't going to give up. I turned to wave back, hopefully that would keep them at bay. I really wasn't in the mood for a bitch fest with Lauren; me being the target of the bitchiness of course.

Mike had picked up his board and was running towards me, _Christ he thinks he's Hasslehoff. _The rest were following after him.

Jake was a few hundred meters away by now. I desperately wanted him to come and shield me from the barrage of questions and sly comments that were about to come flying my way.

"Jake... Wait up!" My voice was weak with nerves but thankfully he heard me. He looked over towards the approaching crowd and his eyes lit up, mischief playing across his face.

Jake had only had the pleasure of meeting Mike once and that, in reality, hadn't been pleasant for any of us. I had also filled him in a bit about the dark nastiness that is Lauren Mallory.

He sauntered over towards me, obviously enjoying watching me squirm a little. I was going to toe poke him for this later, with my good toe of course. I clenched my teeth together and smiled a crazy grin, making sure it never met my eyes.

"'sup?" he asked as he reached me. He glanced over my shoulder, "Hey... its puke boy!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Shut _uup..."_ I sang to him through my grimace, "Laurens there _too._" Jake sniggered to himself.

"Ha-ha... Puke boy and Venom girl..._Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream_. Oh... this should be fun." In truth I knew if Jake was to start with the cutting remarks Lauren wouldn't stand a chance, but I didn't like that side of him and I hoped he wouldn't bring it out to play today.

Mike was the first to reach us. He looked visibly shaken when he saw Jake standing so close to me, the colour drained from his face and his usual cheery demeanour vanished. I shot Jake a puzzled look and he shrugged his shoulders in answer.

"Hey Mike." He looked from me to Jake, and then back again, his mouth agog.

"Dude...you ok?" The sound of Jakes voice seemed to shake him from his stupor.

"Hey Bella." He didn't answer Jake, he just looked dead ahead. _Weirdo._

"Shit Mike you look like you've seen a ghost, maybe you should sit down dude." Mike still refused to acknowledge Jacob even after his show of concern. It was beginning to look like he'd spent way too much time with Lauren and Jess. Funny, I never had him pinned as an obnoxious bitch.

The rest of the guys were quickly approaching and Mike was still gaping like a goldfish. His look turned to horror and confusion as Jake reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Mike swallowed hard and looked back frantically for the others.

Jessica and Laurens eyes widened as they took in the scene before them, they assumed similar facial expressions to Mike only without the horror.

"Ooh Bella Who's you're yummy friend" Lauren cooed. She was a hoe. I was seething, how dare the fugly one even look in the direction of my yumminness, I mean Jacob.

I donned a 'happy smiley' face and took her straight on. "Of course Lauren forgive me, Jake... everyone, everyone...Jake." I gave her a smug look.

Lauren took up the challenge. She stretched her hand out towards Jake and waited for him to reach out and take it. Jake stared ahead at the others, as if she wasn't even there. He stretched his hand out as if he was going to take hers, then quickly shot his hand towards Angela, "Hi you must be Angela, Bella's told me a lot about you." He then turned his attention to the rest of the group, introducing himself and chatting to each one like he'd known them forever, eventually getting to Mike whose colour had started to return to normal. If you can call pasty normal.

"Jake?"He gulped hard. "Shit, dude I didn't recognise you before. What the hell's happened to you?" He pointed to Jake and waved his hand up and down. "Ouch. You've grown a bit and laid down a few pounds in muscle too... Steroids?" he raised his eyebrow in question.

"Hell no. Growth spurt or something" Jake didn't elaborate on his transformation any more than that.

Lauren was still holding out for a hand shake, but it was in vain, Jake had started to converse happily with the rest of the group. She shot me a nasty look that said everything she felt about me. She was seething so much I thought she was going to start spitting teeth_. Oh Joy._ I was going to pay for this at school on Monday.

We stood and talked for a while. Angela and the guys were going boarding whilst the surf was good and then they were meeting up after six to have dinner at the diner and then go catch a movie. So we were cordially invited, and of course had to decline because I was grounded.

"Oh that's a pity Bella, Still it doesn't stop Jake from coming surely...does it?" _Trust Lauren skank bitch Mallory to throw that one in. _

"Oh...oh no I don't think that'll be happening; besides Bella is allowed visitors you know. So I'll be with her until her dad throws me out." Jake, my knight in shining armour came to the rescue again.

"Still, if you're ever looking for something to _do, _you can always come join us later," she purred as she reached up and stroked his cheek.

I'm pretty sure it was the way she said "Do," that really fucked with my head. In the second it took for her to say it; everyone knew exactly what her intentions were.

That was it. That was the final fucking straw. There was no way I was going to ignore this, I had put up with her shit for too long.

The red mist descended and I started to tremble. _This bitch is going down, here and now, on First Beach._

I screeched and lunged at Lauren, grabbing a chunk of her perfectly coifed hair and yanked her head down towards my fist. "You fucking bitch," I punched her square in the mouth. "Keep your skanky mind and hands off" I swung at her again. "You even so much as give him a sideways glance, and I swear to god; I'll rip your fucking eyes out." _Uh oh_, I had totally lost it_._

I could feel Jakes strong arms around my waist, pulling me off of Lauren who by now, had collapsed into a weeping heap on the ground; a sticky concoction of blood and hair matted onto her face. I was still flailing my fists and feet towards her trying to get one last hit.

Then I registered the looks of horror on the faces of my friends.

"Jesus Christ Bella, what the fuck has got into you," Mike took her side of course and scolded me like a two year old child. The rest of the group hurried over to where Lauren was lying on the sand.

I flipped him the birdie then screamed "_AND_ _FUCK YOU TOO_!" I had had enough of everyone's crap.

I stared at Jake. His face was filled with a mixture of disgust, chagrin and humour.

After all the shit and grief I had put up with from her and Jessica when Edward left, them treating me like I was a freak. Now I was supposed to act like I didn't mind that she was practically slobbering over Jacob, well not today, and not any other fucking day either.

Jake started to look at me like I had went over to the dark side, then he approached the huddle near the ground to see if Lauren was ok.

My heart split. I had to get out of here. One more disapproving look and my head was going to explode.

I turned and ran towards the waiting bike on the beach. I could here Jake and Angela calling after me, but they could go screw themselves. I was running away. _Mostly from myself._

I heaved myself onto the bike and slammed my foot down, it roared to life beneath me. I gave it some gas and eased of the clutch. The bike shot forward almost throwing me off. Then I settled into the seat and opened her up.

I looked over my shoulder to review the scene I had just left. Jake was running towards me as fast as he humanly could, but the bike was faster much faster. This was the fastest I'd ever ridden it.

I pointed the bike towards the far end of the beach. I could ditch it there and walk home to Forks, or at least try to find a phone booth in La Push and get Charlie to come by and pick me up.

The wind whirled my hair around like a tornado and blew right through me, ripping hot tears from my eyes. The ragged hole was tearing through my chest once again only with more burn and more pain than before. I had reached my limit with the whole emotional rollercoaster that was my life.

I had had enough pain to last me a life time, more than any of my so called friends would ever realise.

A girl on the edge no more, now I was a girl over the edge.

I thought Jake was different from them but now he had seen me as I was, tainted, broken and damaged; and I don't think he liked it, not one little bit.

I shot past the large out crop of rocks on the beach and leaned the bike hard to the left as I shifted my line of sight towards the farthest end of the sand.

I noticed a little patch of rocks just ahead of me and I pulled the brake lever to slow me down. The bike didn't respond. I slammed my down onto the foot brake, even though the last time I had done, resulted in a trip to hospital.

The bike still didn't respond. I was heading straight for them. They grew larger as I approached and more of them came into vision as I neared. I couldn't avoid them. There was no clear path through them.

Then the bike hit and I could fly.

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	18. I didn't see that one coming

**Okay that last chapter really got me thinking and managed to also clear a bad case of blockage.**

**So here goes **

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18

I didn't see that one coming.

Even in rage, Bella was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. In moments of extreme emotion she was free. Her soul was bared for all to see. The fact that this soul bearing exercise wasn't to everyone's liking was beyond me. Bella was kicking ass.

I had never seen her so angry but god damn it she was hot. My imagination went wild with naughty thoughts of angry Bella. Dang...

_What in god's name is that? _An urge to vomit overwhelmed me and I choked down bile as my nose hairs came alive with a smell that had no business being on First Beach, or any other beach around La Push. In fact this smell had no business being anywhere, at all, full stop.

I looked at Bella to see if I was imagining things, of course she wouldn't know whether I was imagining things or not, because she couldn't smell what I could.

I stooped down towards the bloody mess that Bella had left on the floor, then I realised where the disgusting smell was coming from it was her, Lauren. She reeked of vampire. The pungent smell was burning up my nose. I fought against my urge to puke and tried to make sense of my senses, so to speak.

I didn't get it, why was this girl stinking of bloodsucker? It didn't make sense.

"Your girlfriend's a fucking freak Jacob Black; see what you've let yourself in for?"

I suppressed a growl in my chest. If I let myself linger too long here I was going to phase, that was the effect their smell and Lauren's voice had on me. Both were revolting.

I turned back towards the Lauren, god she was truly hideous, even without the blood and snot. How this girl could ever think herself in the same league as Bella was beyond my comprehension

I turned to find Bella.

Shit, she was heading for the bike in a rage. Anger and machinery never went well in my experience.

What had happened and why was she stalking off?

Angela grasped my arm and shook me.

"Jacob, quick she's upset. Don't let her get on the bike in that state of mind." We both left the huddle and started to call out whilst sprinting in the direction of Bella and the bike. She looked at us and slammed her foot down.

The bike lurched forward as Bella struggled to maintain control. It wobbled underneath her as though trying to buck her off. The only way she was going to stay on would be if she opened up the throttle. Which, of course she promptly did.

The bike roared to life and she shot forward, spraying sand in a fan behind her. I had to get to her quick and try and calm her down, before she did herself some damage.

I looked over to Angela and then back to the rest of the group. They had moved Lauren from the sand and were trying to bundle her into the silver SUV in the parking lot. Angela was standing with her mouth hanging open as we watched Bella tear down the beach towards the rocks at the far end.

"Wow, I didn't know Bella could ride one of those," she said in awe.

Bella was going way too fast for my liking. I looked over to Angela and wondered briefly if everything Bella had said was true, if she was as good a friend as Bella thought.

Bella may be a little naive when it came to judging the intentions of mythical creatures, but she was always spot on when it came to reading the motivation and integrity of human beings. Angela was someone who could be trusted.

I leaned into Angela and whispered, "That's not Bella's only Secret." I drew back waited for her reaction; she just shrugged her shoulders.

I winked at her and started to sprint towards where Bella was as fast as I could. A few more hundred meters further and I would be able to phase without giving Angela coronary heart failure. Sure she'd still see me do it but the further I was away the less intimidating it would be, that's what I thought anyway.

I was gaining on the bike but only marginally, I pushed myself faster and let myself tear apart, phasing as I ran.

I glanced back at Angela; she was standing where I left her. A look of terror engulfed her face, her hand was clamped over her mouth suppressing what I would imagine was a blood curdling scream. _Shit, I'll need to deal with her later._

I raked my claws into the sand and surged forward. Bella was nearing the outcrop of rocks and she was showing no sign of slowing down.

Why wasn't she slowing down? She was never going to make the turn at the rocks if she didn't. Bella could see that surely.

I held my breath as I ran and watched in horror as she leaned the bike over hard...

The air burst through my muzzle as she brought it back up, she had made it and was now out of my line of sight. _Thank god she's ok_.

Then I heard the noise no one ever wants to hear. A shrill, piercing, lonely scream. Then silence.

I thundered forward.

I could hear the waves as they crashed onto the shore.

I could hear the breeze gently rustling the leaves of the cliff top trees.

I could hear the clouds float by on that same breeze.

I couldn't hear Bella.

I rounded the corner Bella had turned moments before. The bike was off in the distance upside down, the handlebars stuck in the sand, wheels still turning.

I ran towards it, frantically scanning the sand and rocks for any sign of an injured Bella. I couldn't see her, I couldn't hear her. Wait Jake... What else...?

I drew a lung full of air.

I could smell her.

I shot my eyes in the direction where the smell was strongest.

She was there, by the cliffs. Not moving, not breathing and something else...

The music of my life had ceased.

Her heart had stopped beating.

I let a mournful howl rip through my teeth. She needed help. I needed help.

Embry answered my call almost immediately.

"_Jake...what's wrong_?" Panic flooded into his voice.

"_Em, call nine one one, its Bella, there's been an accident, tell them It's urgent, she'd not breathing... or anything,_"

I quickly showed him the scene in my mind so he could tell the emergency crew how to get to us, then I phased.

I rushed over to where Bella was laying on the ground. Blood had oozed out of a gash in her head onto the light golden sand. Her leg was bent at a sickening angle, the bone protruded out of the skin on her calf at an opposing angle.

I fell to my knees beside her, gently cradling her like a baby against my chest and wiped the matted hair off her forehead. Blood had seeped from the corners of her eyes like crimson tears.

I didn't know what to do; I didn't know how to save her life.

I was overcome with grief and frantic loss. My heart was tearing it's self free in my chest. It was breaking. _Where the fuck are the paramedics_?

An eternity was passing and I still couldn't hear the sirens.

"Jacob, put her down on the ground and get out of my way," Angela commanded. I hadn't heard her approach.

"She's gone," I sobbed, grasping Bella tighter to my chest.

"Jacob, please let me try," Angela pleaded.

I didn't want her to touch her. I wanted to hold Bella close and never let her go. I wanted Angela to go away and let me have these few moments with her alone.

I felt Angela's hand on my shoulder.

"Jake, please, I've got to try." Her voice was barely a whisper.

I kissed each of Bella's eyes and then her soft pink lips, knowing this was likely to be the last time I would.

I swallowed hard and blinked the tears out of my eyes, then placed her gently back on the sand.

Angela shoved past me and went to work on Bella.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven..."

I pulled my knee's up into my chest and pressed my forehead against my knees. I couldn't watch this. I couldn't place futile hope on Angela's efforts. If I did and Bella died anyway, I would end up blaming her for the rest of my life. And that wouldn't be right.

For an eternity Angela continued to pump at Bella's chest and breathe for her.

I tried to shut off the sounds from Angela's attempt to bring life to my loves body. The sound of her lungs inflating; like a latex balloon. Her blood slugging around her veins; thickening with each pump of her chest.

Blackness descended until I could hear and see no more....

Some while later I felt another hand on my shoulder.

"Come on son, you can ride with us to the hospital," I didn't recognise the voice and I didn't want to look at the source of the voice. I didn't need to see the face of the man who carried my Bella's dead body away from me. I would only try to hunt him down later.

Hot tears spilled from my eyes and ran down my thighs. I pressed my face harder onto my knees.

"Is there anyone who can come for him?"

"I... I don't know," Angela whispered.

"Maybe those guys there know him."

"Jake? Jake, I'm going to ride in the ambulance with Bella." Angela rubbed my shoulder.

"Are you Jacobs friends?" I heard her ask.

My brothers had come to take me home.

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	19. No news is good News? EPOV

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19

EPOV.

What's that saying, No news is good news?

I stood by the window waiting for them to return. Sam and Paul had left over an hour ago and they still hadn't returned. No one had called to let me know how badly injured Bella was, and I was starting to worry.

I could tell by Embry's reaction to Jacob's visions that it had been bad. He had been in a panic when he had burst through our front door, trying to get to the phone. Still, you never can tell how severe an injury is or isn't unless it's there in front of you.

I thought back to when Sam had clawed my face. To tell people that I had my face scratched was a dire understatement. When people had heard about it I'm pretty certain they thought "Oh it's just a scratch, get over it." The reality was much more disturbing than anyone could imagine. 'Just a scratch' had left one side of my face hanging in shreds, like fleshy ribbons. The look of shock on friends' faces when they first got a glimpse of my injuries was enough to make me realise that people often underestimate when it comes to these things.

'A bang' on the head had the potential to be so much worse.

I gnawed on my thumb nail and stared out of the window, contemplating just how badly injured Bella was. Was it a just bad bang? Was it her face? Did she have a bruise? Was there blood? Was she conscious? Knowing how clumsy Bella was made me secretly suspect Jacob was just overreacting and being super cautious with his new love's wellbeing.

He was funny to watch when he was around her. All the machismo Jake displayed when he was with the pack evaporated completely in her presence. He would watch her with doe eyes, hanging on every word Bella said and if she dared look in his direction, he would shoot his eyes to the floor.

He went all soft and gangly whenever she was within a few feet of her and he mirrored her every move. In my experience that tells a story in it's self. Sometimes when she wasn't watching he would look at her like it hurt and when she spoke to him, he listened so hard you would think his life depended on it.

Bella, however much she had wanted to keep Jacob as just her friend, was just as bad, every now and then we would catch her gazing longingly at him, or she would watch him intently, chewing her lip and getting all breathy whenever he wasn't looking in her direction.

For the last few months they had conducted this dance like two planets orbiting around each other, the invisible force field that kept them apart was thinning day by day, ultimately vanishing altogether yesterday.

Yes they were still dancing, but now it was the same dance within the same orbit. They had each found peace in the other; connected together in a way that made me envious. They chose to be like this with each other and nothing could rival that; not even imprinting; of that much I was sure.

Yeah imprinting gave you security and certainty that you were meant to be together forever, but it also eliminated the freedom to chose. Being the subject of an imprint made me feel like the runners up prize.

Knowing that Sam never chose me played on my mind all the time, he didn't _want_ to be with me, what he _wanted_, what he _chose_ was to be with Leah, he had chosen to dance that dance with her. It's not that he didn't love me; it was that he didn't choose me of his own free will that made me feel like the runners up prize.

I started to feel restless; you know the way you do when you're expecting something big to happen. Butterflies were fluttering about in my stomach and I started to fidget.

I began to move about the living room tidying away magazines and plumping cushions on the sofa, anything to keep my mind busy and stop me thinking through unthinkable scenarios.

I finished in there and headed towards the kitchen, repositioning flowers and books on the phone stand in the hall way as I went.

God I was feeling nervous. I wiped the work surfaces over with a damp cloth. _Why were they taking so long? What's that saying_? _No news is good news? _I drew in a deep breath and attempted to calm myself.

It suddenly occurred to me that no one had phoned Charlie. I crossed back into the hall and dialled Billy's number. He would be able to tell me Charlie's and well, you know, I could call him and let him know.

The phone rung out on the other end for what felt like an eternity and I was seriously considering hanging up and driving over there when Billy eventually answered the phone. It was obvious he had been caught snoozing.

"Uh...um hello?" his voice was thick with sleep.

"Billy? It's Emily here. I'm sorry to wake you, but I really needed to call"

"That's ok honey, what can I do you for?" despite my wakening Billy from his slumber, he was his usual cheery self. I was about to send him crashing.

"Billy there's been an accident and I need you to give me Charlie's telephone number," I held my voice steady, trying to hide the panic that was threatening to surface.

"What is it now? Bella fell over what?" His voice was droll, no doubt accustomed to this type of news by the numerous times Jake had had to take Bella to the emergency room.

"It sounds really bad Billy. She and Jake had taken the bike down on First and she's come off onto rocks, Embry called in here to phone the emergency services. That's as much as I know." I held my breath and waited for the information I had just parted with to sink in.

"Shit..." he whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear it. "Gimme a minute Emily I'll see if I can find it."

I could hear him rummaging by the phone, obviously looking for his address book. "Just let me get my glasses Ems, I won't be long, hang on," he called towards the phone.

There was silence for a few moments whilst Billy did the necessary. I could hear clattering in the background. He must have knocked over a dish in his search but he was soon back at the phone, fumbling with the receiver.

"You got a pen and paper handy?" he asked.

"Yep, hit me."

Billy read out the phone number as I jotted it down. "Emily, you might not get him on this today. He mentioned to me last night that he was thinking of going fishing on Lake Pleasant."

"That's okay, does he have a cell?"

"Not that he's ever mentioned to me honey"

"No worries, if he's not at home I'll ask one of the guys to go track him down."

"Ems, keep me posted okay."

"I will do Billy."

I pressed my finger on the button to end the phone call, and then quickly dialled Charlie's house, praying that he would answer. He didn't. Billy had been right, Charlie had seemingly gone fishing.

I placed the receiver back on the hook, and paced back over to the window. The sky was darkening in the west; grey, black clouds were rolling in off the ocean. A stark contrast to how the day had started.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was only two fifteen in the afternoon, but it was growing so dim you would swear it was closer to six thirty at night. I slurped on the coffee had left sitting on the sill earlier, it was stone cold.

As I peered back out of the window I saw them, there, in the distance. Three figures walked towards the house. Sam and Paul flanked Jacob, holding him up. His head was bowed onto his chest and his legs gave way every few steps. Sam and Paul would halt alongside him and support his weight, stopping him from collapsing on to the ground.

Their faces held a story themselves, both were ashen and grim.

I turned away from the scene and ran to fling the door open for them.

Jacob lifted his eyes towards me, they were red and swollen from crying and it looked like the life behind them had seeped away with the tears.

He removed himself from Sam and Paul's grip and stumbled forwards towards me, falling to his knees and grasping me around the waist like a vice; sobbing so hard that he shook me to the core. I hugged his head to my belly, like a mother would a child.

"She's gone Ems, She's gone..." he heaved and shuddered against me.

I looked aimlessly from Sam to Paul and back again. Both their faces were etched with grief. I stared wide eyed at Sam waiting for him to deny what Jacob was saying. He swallowed hard and let his eyes roll shut, shaking his head.

I was wrong, whatever had happened was bad. Very, very bad.

I felt the tears well in my eyes and spill over onto my cheeks. I remained silent. This was Jacobs's grief, not mine. I had no right to claim it.

The three of us stood for what felt like forever watching Jacob fall to pieces. I held him tight against me, stroking his cheek until his tears were spent.

Eventually his grip loosened and he released me. Sam and Paul stepped forward and raised him off the ground.

They moved him into the house and took him to the spare room. He curled up on the bed, hugging his knees into his chest like a foetus. I grabbed the quilt off the chair and tucked it around him. Jacob stared blankly at the wall.

Sam was the first to speak. "Ems go fetch Billy," I nodded and turned silently from the room and quickly made my way to the door. I grabbed the truck keys off the phone stand as I went.

Once outside I ran over and heaved myself in ramming the key into the ignition and slamming my foot on the gas, all actions within a heart beat of each other. I felt the back end of the truck spin out. But it found grip. I sped off in the direction of Billy's.

As I neared his little shack a large grey wolf with black spots skidded out onto the road. I slammed on the breaks and swung open the passenger door.

"Embry... get in!" I hollered.

The large wolf jumped onto the seat and curled into a shaking ball letting out a mournful whine. He was really freaked out.

A few moments later we pulled up at the front of Billy's place I jumped out of the truck and yelled at Embry to go change. I was going to need his help.

I battered on Billy's door and let myself in. This was no time for hanging about waiting for the door to be answered. Billy was just finishing a phone call as I entered his face was grey like Sam and Pauls had been.

"Where's he at?" Billy turned to meet my stare.

He turned to Embry who was now stood at my back. "Good work son." What did he mean by that? Embry had only done what anyone of us would do under the circumstances.

"Billy he's at mine that is why I'm here. He's distraught. Billy, Bella's dead." He looked at me and shook his head.

"Embry grab my hat," Billy was so random at times. "Right, take me to where he's at."

I hauled Billy over towards the truck and Embry run over after us.

"Embry I need you to get Billy in the van." Embry stepped up and did as I asked.

We drove back over to my place as fast as I'd left it; each of us remained silent on the way.

Sam was waiting when I drew up. He pulled the door open and lifted Billy then carried him back towards the house and into the spare room. I jumped out and fetched his chair, wheeling it in behind Embry.

Paul shot his eyes towards us as we entered. "Charlie?"

Embry piped up, "'s okay dude, he's with her at the hospital, I drove him there myself."

I grabbed my rain jacket and keys and headed for the door.

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**Har...Har... I totaly had you all going there with the EPOV thing didn't I. Well didn't I?**

**You should know by now what it is I crave.**

**Revieeeeeeeeeeews!!!!!**

**In the imortal words of salt 'n' Pepa**

**Ah, push it,**

**Ah, push it.**

**p-push it real good! **

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	20. Harbinger Of Bad News EPOV

**Thanks for the fantastic reviews folks.**

**Yay I just noticed I've reached 200. WOW!**

**I feel a little wicked for getting you all flustered with the EPOV thingy in the last chapter.**

**When I replied to all the reviews I sent a link to you all to say thanks for reviewing. **

**I am aware that Many of you didn't get it, however you might notice that I have since changed my avatar.**

**This was what the link would have taken you to.**

**So Check it out. If your anything like me you will have already made it into wallpaper for you desktop, your i phone or your apple touch.**

**I think you'll all understand the sentiment behind the word scrawled across it.**

**I own nothing!**

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Enjoy!

20

Harbinger of bad news.

E(mily's)POV. AGAIN!

I grabbed my rain jacket and keys and headed for the door.

Bella must have been taken to the Clallam County hospital up in Forks; it was the only one around with a trauma unit that could deal with anything anyway serious.

The hospital was only a twenty minute drive From La Push. I slammed on the gas, wanting to make the twenty minute drive in ten, knowing it would probably feel more like forty.

The panic I had felt earlier was sitting heavy in my stomach as I flicked through images of the scenes I was rushing to face. _Bella pale, cold to the touch; hardening from the rigour settling into her limbs. Her lips blue, her veins stark against her now pasty skin. Charlie, in the family room, slumped on the floor, sobbing. Sobbing so hard I think his heart will burst. Then he's shouting, screaming "let me see her!" _His tears burning valleys in his cheeks.

I swallowed hard and shook the images from my mind.

I had never seen a dead body, but I now realised that I'd watched way too many Saturday nights watching N.C.I.S re-runs. Well, enough to conjure up images that in moments like this; no one should have in their heads.

_Shit Ems, get a grip._

The tree's passed by in slow motion, binding me in their sticky resinous hex. They were mocking me, knowing where I was headed and drawing out the suspense.

I passed by the big wooden sign outside Forks and turned right onto the 101, following it until it met with Bogachiel Way. I turned right again at the intersection and travelled the short distance to the hospital parking lot.

Clallam County hospital was in no way imposing like big city hospitals. It consisted of one-two story building; it had four additional extensions that had been built on in recent years to accommodate Forks' growing population. It was clad in greyish white siding and to be honest; looked more like an office complex than anything else.

I pulled the truck into a space and walked towards the main entrance. The trauma unit lay off to the left through glass sliding doors. I could see a reception desk in the middle of the foyer. I made my way towards it.

My legs wobbled like jelly beneath me. Dread was creeping over my shoulders, winding its gnarly fingers into my hair and scratching at my scalp. My heart thumped hard against my ribs.

"Take a seat." The well rounded nurse didn't even look up. She pointed towards the waiting area.

"I... I don't...," she didn't let me finish.

"Take a seat. A triage attendant will see you when one becomes available." Again, without raising her eyes, she pointed in the direction of the waiting room chairs.

That really pissed me off. I hitched myself straight and tall, "I don't need to see a nurse. I'm here to enquire about someone." I was almost shouting. Jeez what does it take for people to show some sort of decency to their fellow human beings?

She raised her eyes form the magazine she was reading and looked at me over the top of her designer spectacles. "Is it a family member?" she sneered.

"No it's my friend, Isabella Swan. I believe she was brought in around an hour and a half ago."

The nurse, who, I noticed from her ID badge, was called Doreen, donned a look that could only be described as the cat that got the cream. "I'm so sorry," she said in a sickly sweet drawl, "I can't give you any information if you're not a family member." She returned her attention to the gossip magazine lying on the desk.

I wanted to leap across the desk and slap the shit out of her, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. I turned away from the desk defeated.

How was I supposed to find out about how Bella was? I wanted nothing more than to go right home and tell Jacob she was fine. The longer it took for me to get the information we needed, the further into a dark depression Jacob would fall.

I didn't doubt for a minute that if Bella was dead, Jacob would blame himself for the rest of his life, a life that I also didn't doubt Jacob would want cut short, by his own hand.

I'd saw the death behind his eyes. Bella was his life. He needed her to live so that he could go on.

I didn't want to think about that anymore. If the worst came to the worst. We would have to support him and help him through the rough times ahead and try to help him find a life without her.

The one saving grace was that he hadn't imprinted on her, so there would still be hope of him finding someone else.

Christ, I was thinking Bella into her grave already.

I walked back towards the sliding doors, trying to focus on anything but what I would have to face when I got home.

"Emily?" I didn't recognise the voice, so I kept walking.

"Emily Young?" This person was definitely talking to me. I looked back over my shoulder as the glass doors closed behind me. It was Jimmi Hobucket; wearing a porter's uniform. God I hadn't seen him since I'd left school. He was walking directly towards me, I suddenly became flustered.

"Gosh...hey Jimmi. Hi... how are you?" I had noticed him wince as I turned to face him. I immediately shot my hand up towards the ragged scar on my cheek.

"I'm good...how's life with you?" he asked.

"Not great actually. I was just over at reception there asking about my friend who was brought in earlier." I hooked my thumb towards the nurse behind the desk. "She isn't very helpful is she?"

"Doreen? Hell no. She's a dragon." He chuckled to himself and smiled at me sympathetically.

I had dated Jimmi throughout high school. We split up the summer before I went to catering college. It had been difficult. The both of us knew that it was for the best, what with me being so far away. I hadn't even tried to contact him after I returned to La Push that summer. The summer I met Sam.

"How have you been Emily?" he asked timidly.

I really didn't have the time or energy for small talk but I didn't want to be rude. "I've been okay, well you know...apart from this," I said, pointing to my face. Jimmi looked at me intently.

"You're still beautiful Ems." His reply was blunt and unexpected, verging on inappropriate. I blushed like a little girl. Also very inappropriate.

"Listen Jimmi, I'd love to stay and talk but I really need to be getting home. I've got to try and find out how my friend is."

"Who's your friend?" he asked, his eyes suddenly filled with inspiration.

"Bella Swan." I squeaked.

He raised his hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "Go wait outside. I'll go and see what I can find out. Gimme a minute." He turned and headed for the computer station next to the reception. I turned again and headed for the main doors.

The sun had started to make its presence felt. Warmth was starting to filter through the clouds. I spotted a metal bench close to the doors and sat down on it absentmindedly, forgetting to wipe it dry. I immediately felt the rainwater seep through the seat of my pants.

As I sat there I looked around. Emergency room entrances really were sorry places to be. Family members and patients alike mingled together, dragging on cigarettes and chatting on cell phones. The scene was truly ironic.

Jimmi approached the door. I could see him scanning around the grounds for me. I stood and called out to him. He wove his way through the people and dodged the cloud of smoke that seemed to hover in the air.

"You better sit down." Why did he say that? This was going to be bad, I could tell, I fell back down onto the cold metal bench. "Your friend Bella. She gave the EMT's a really hard time on the way here in the ambulance. They managed to stabilise her in the rig before they left the beach but she crashed on the way here. They got her heart beating again and brought her here as quick as they could.

Her injuries were real bad Ems. She had a badly fractured skull, smashed up leg and some internal bleeding. She's had to be transported by air to Harborview in Seattle. They have a level one trauma room and a neurosurgery unit on site. All we could do here was stabilise her for the journey.

Ems she's in a pretty bad way." He looked at me solemnly. "You should let whoever might need to know to prepare for the worst." He leaned forward and rubbed my shoulder. A pointless attempt to comfort me, because I was already trying to figure out how I was going to tell everyone how Bella was alive now; but she might not be in the morning.

oooOooOooOooOooo

It's funny how the return leg of a journey never takes as long as the getting there does, well it would be mildly amusing if you weren't the harbinger of bad news. I was going to prolong Jacob's agony even further by passing on this information. But he had to know that whatever happened to Bella now, it wouldn't be his fault.

I sat for a minute gathering my thoughts. I didn't even notice Embry rushing over to the driver's side of the truck until he was yanking the door open. "Well?" he asked franticly.

"Inside Embry, what I have to say isn't something I want to have to repeat. Besides Jacob needs to hear this first." He swallowed hard, forcing his emotions into check.

As we walked towards the house he placed his hand on my back and guided me towards the open door.

Every one but Billy and Jacob, were assembled in my shoebox living room. They were waiting for whatever information I had, knowing whatever it was, it would determine the priorities as well as the dynamics of the pack for however long it existed.

I remained tight lipped as I passed by heading towards the guest room at the back of the house.

My soft knock echoed throughout the house.

"Come in," Billy muttered softly. I gently opened the door and peered in. Jacob was still in the same foetal position I had left him in. Billy was sitting in his chair, his arm draped over his sons ribs, their hands entwined in an unyielding fist at Jacobs hip.

Jacobs forearm rippled and his knuckles blanched as I entered the room. He was very much awake, waiting.

I walked towards him and placed my hand on top of theirs where they were connected. Jacob began to sob and shake. He was already thinking the worst.

I swallowed down my pain for him.

"Jacob... she's alive."

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**Sorry for dragging that out, but it added a little drama to the story. I think! **

**So in the imortal words of The Sugarbabes:**

Yeah I know. your probably thinking

_Who the fuck are the sugarbabes?_

**If your ready for me boy,**

**you better Push the button and let me know.**

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**go on!!!!!!**

**Please :)**


	21. I'm Yours POV

**Well guys I just want to take the time to thank my avid reviewers for sticking with it and Reviewing EVERY chapter. I really appreciate it. You know who you all are. **

**This chapter should be the last from an alternate POV (for a while anyway!)**

**I must admit i'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but I can't put my finger on why exactly. IDK**

**Anyways I thought I'd treat you to a little insight into how I imagine other characters, at different stages of a relationship help each other to deal with grief and offer comfort.**

**You get a little insight into what motivates Emily in her relationship with Jake, from anothers POV. **

**I ask again that you remember to review. Let me know what you think. **

**I'm a little skittish over this one.**

**Gaaaahhhhh!**

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_I may not have the softest touch, __I may not say the words as such,_

_And though I may not look like much_

_I'm Yours_

_And though my edges may be rough, __I never feel i'm quite enough,_

_It may not seem like very much_

_But I'm yours._

**I'm yours**

_by The Script_

21

S(ams)POV

I heard the clatter from the bedroom and I leapt to my feet. Emily was in danger. The room was no more than eight feet by ten. If Jacob phased with Emily in there, he would kill her. I had to get her out.

I sprung over the couch and flew to the door at the end of the hall, tearing the door away, ready to do whatever it took to protect her. Three pairs of stunned eyes stared back at me.

"She's alive Sam; we got to go... now." The transformation in Jake was spectacular. He had gone from desperate and desolate to ecstatic and excited within the matter of a few minutes. I watched as he hopped around the room trying to dress in the pile of clothes that Emily had left for him earlier.

"Dad, are you coming with us?" Billy glanced at Emily with a worried look on his face. She nodded at him discreetly, conveying a message that was about more than him going on a road trip to Seattle.

"Yeah... Sure, sure son." He reached for his hat. "Just point me in the right direction."

"Ems, you don't mind me stealing Sam for a couple of days do you?" He stared at her expectantly.

"Of course not Jake, I've never complained before and I'm certainly not going to start now. Look, why don't you and Billy go home just now and grab an overnight bag. I'll get Sam ready and pack up some food for the trip. Okay?" Emily was trying to keep her emotions in check. I could hear it in the way her voice broke when she said okay.

"Thanks Ems, what would we do without you?" What set out to be a simple thank you; turned out to be like a stab in the heart for me. What would I do without her? What if I was in Jacobs shoes, dealing with the hand that he had been dealt? How would I have reacted?

The tiny bedroom we were all standing in would be lying in shreds by now. Of that I was sure.

It's not that I loved Emily more than he did Bella. It was that he was more of a man than I could ever hope to be. He had been born to not only be a shape shifter but to embrace that birth right, to lead others into embracing it rather than just accepting it as a curse.

Jacob managed to maintain an air of calm normality when dealing with the full range of human emotions, whilst the rest of us struggled to deal with one emotion at a time. That ability alone was why I had decided to relinquish my Alpha status to him once all this shit was over.

He would be a fearless and fair leader. What was happening to him now, and the way he was handling it, would only served to strengthen these qualities and confirm what I already knew. Jake was designed to lead the pack. I had no choice but to step down.

"Sam, will you come and help me?" Emily floated towards the door, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me to follow her. I paced down the hall behind her.

"Right guys you need to go help Jake and Billy get ready to go to Seattle." Emily addressed the waiting crowd that has assembled in the living room. Everyone stood up and filed towards the door.

"Paul, give Jake a hand with his dad," I barked.

Paul turned towards me obviously thinking about whining. I glare at him. "Sure thing boss." He huffed, dropping his head.

I told Jake and Billy I would drop by their house and collect them when I was ready. I closed the door after everyone had left and leaned back against it.

This was a day I never wanted to repeat. I had a horrible feeling though that this was the calm before the storm. The next couple of days were going to be rough.

I went to look for Emily in the kitchen. She was hunched over the counter, wiping away dirt that wasn't there. That's what Emily did when she was anxious, she cleaned. I was sure if I stood still long enough she would be so lost in thought she would clean me.

I walked up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders and she slumped over, breaking into a fit of soundless sobs. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in close to me. I loved her so much and I hated to see her like this. She was so empathic towards Jacob it hurt to watch.

I knew she would feel everything Jake felt. They had a close bond and although there wasn't that much of an age gap between them, Ems mothered him. She too had grown up without her mom. It drew them close to each other. Yeah... sometimes I was a little envious of their closeness, but now wasn't one of those times.

I spun her gently around to face me and crushed her to my chest. "What is it Ems? What haven't you told me?" she looked up at me, tears were brimming in her eyes.

"Bella's in a bad way Sam, they've lost her twice already. The guy that gave me the information asked me to tell everyone to expect the worst. Jacob's just elated by the news that she's alive. I can't bring myself to tell him that she might not even make it through the night, hell she might even be gone already." I hugged her closer to me as she disintegrated into fits of tears again.

I had been struggling with my own grief for Jacob, but it was getting too much with Emily's piled on top. I cupped her face in my hands, wanting to erase her pain, and leaned down to kiss her on the lips. The salt from her tears was almost too much to bear. A choking burn ignited in my throat and tears spilled freely down my cheeks as I again thought about where I would be without her.

Emily's kiss was desperate; she wanted the pain gone as much as I wanted to take it away. Her lips broke away from mine as she frenziedly kissed away the tears that had escaped from my eyes. A pained whisper escaped from her lips, "baby..." I crushed my lips back on to hers, she whimpered as I leaned in and pinned her against the kitchen cupboard. I needed her and she needed me. We were desperate.

I grasped at her thighs and hitched her up onto the work top that she had been cleaning only minutes earlier. Emily tugged at my shirt sending buttons scattering across the tiled kitchen floor, each of them making their own tiny clattering noise as they bounced off in varying directions. I raised my fingers and gently touched each of her tired red eyes, then swept her hair behind her ears. "Emily I don't know what I'd do if..." I swallowed hard, I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Shush... baby don't. I know..." she whispered, holding me closer. We were both guilty of envisioning ourselves in Jakes shoes. I bent forward and kissed first the ragged scars I had inflicted on her, then I crushed my lips onto hers. Her breathing caught in her chest and I felt her hands run down my stomach, resting briefly before she frantically began to work on my belt. I rested my head on her shoulder, the tears threatening to burn my eyes now.

Emily quickly negotiated the belt and tore at the button before pushing my denims down over my hips. She slipped her hand down towards my shaft. I gasped, shaking my head as she stroked it firmly until it hardened for her. I ran my hands up her legs lifting her long skirt up as I went.

Her inner thighs were like velvet, I parted them gently and inched my fingers further up towards her warm centre. She gasped as I made contact with her underwear. My legs went week as I read the insistence in her breathing.

Emily hitched herself up and tore at her panties, tugging at them urgently, wanting the delicate barrier between us gone. I joined her frenzied attempt, only managing to rip the fine lace at the hip. I needed to be inside her, to show her how much I needed her.

She quickly pushed her panties to the side as I pulled her towards me. I spread her open as she slid across the laminated surface before I stepped forwards and pushed into her in one agonisingly beautiful movement, a movement neither of us were really ready for. The pain was intense, but nothing like the pain we needed to rid from our hearts.

Emily thrust her hips forwards, gasping and whimpering as she braced herself against the edge of the worktop allowing me full access to her core. I drove myself into her firmly, increasing my pace with each stroke. She cried out in grief and ecstasy.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, shifting slightly and drawing me in close, pursing her lips against my shoulder. I grazed my nose along her neck and in behind her ear tasting her scent. I felt her teeth press into my naked skin then I started to lose it. Icy cold shivers rippled over my muscles, she knew that biting me drove me insane. I was starting to fight an internal battle with myself. I slowed my pace and deepened the thrusts, just how Emily liked it. She needed to release first.

I grasped her hips firmly and continued to slowly sink my member into her soft wet folds. I could feeling every throb and quiver form within her. Soon her muscles started to clench around me making her core incredibly tight. I strained against her pulsating walls, determined to ride her climax out to its conclusion.

The friction was about enough to drive me insane, the muscles in my legs and abdomen trembled with anticipation as a delicious sucking force in my groin drew in the most indescribable sensations before that force suddenly reversed and released a warm fiery explosion into my loins that radiated throughout my body. I had never cum so violently before.

We collapsed against each other and waited for the rapture to ebb and the grief to return, which it eventually did, but without as much edge as before.

I drew back slightly and glanced down at Emily, she had her cheek pressed against my chest, listening to the thumping rhythm of my heart, each palm resting on either side of her head.

"I love you Sam, I don't know what I would do without you." Her thoughts echoed my own. I hugged her tight, wishing I could stay with her like this for ever.

I knew for Emily, life without me was something she was unlikely to ever experience, save from me being attacked by some random vamp and dying that way. However, if I continued to phase for a prolonged period of time, my outliving Emily was increasingly likely. I found a ray of comfort in knowing that she would never have to face the terrible heartache that Jacob was dealing with now.

I would just have to deal with my own grief at the end of the day.

I kissed her deeply for a few seconds before I pulled myself out of her embrace and yanked my shorts and denims back up. "Babe, I really need to get my stuff together." Emily looked at me intensely for a moment.

"Sam I need you to talk Jacob down for me, preferably before you get to Seattle. Prepare him for the worst. Please?" She looked at me gingerly awaiting my response.

"Well we've got a four hour drive ahead of us, so I've got plenty of time to soften him up a bit I suppose. Will you do me a favour in return?"

"Name it," she shot back.

"Will you call Harbour view, check ahead and maybe see if you can talk to Charlie?"

"Do you want me to do that just now?" I could see what I was asking her to do was beginning to sink in. I needed her to call ahead, test the waters with Charlie. The last time I had seen him was at our place this morning when he had been looking for Bella. Saying that he was angry then, was an understatement to say the least. The last thing I wanted to do was lead Jake head first into a fist fight with Charlie, who was by now probably about to go super nova with anger and worry.

"If you go do that I'll sort out the packing and stuff," I said with gentle encouragement.

She scrunched her eyes up and looked at me suspiciously. "Hmm, I think you might be getting the better end of the deal here."

I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Them's the brakes babes." I smirked at her as I pulled away for the final time. She totally knew she was getting the better deal here.

I strode through to the bedroom and fetched the overnight bag off of the top of the wardrobe, dropped it on the bed then started to riffle through the closet and drawers, gathering enough stuff to last me a few days.

I could here Emily chatting on the phone, from the sounds of it she had got through to Charlie. I could here her talking gently and sympathising with him. I grabbed a towel and headed for the bathroom. I was certain Emily would be able to handle Charlie, she would work a little spell on him and everything would be straightened out. Right?

I jumped into the shower I stepped back out, feeling half way alive again. Jacob would have to drive some of the way to Seattle. I had only had a few hours sleep this morning after everyone had left. He could take the first half of the Journey and I could catch some zeds. That was the plan any way.

Once I was dressed I lifted the bag and carried it through to the kitchen where Ems was working. Again.

"Well did you get through to the hospital?" She jumped a little as my words cut through the silence in the house. She turned to me and smiled at me.

"Yes I got to speak to Charlie too. Bella's in surgery just now. She remained stable all the way from Clallam to Harbour View, and after running some tests they decided to take her straight in and fix up her leg. They recon it will take an hour or so, then she needs to go for more MRI scans to see if the pressure in her brain has lessened any. At least she's stable, for now." The relief in her voice was an immense change from earlier.

"How's Charlie holding up?" I asked. Her eyes settled on the kitchen sink, her anxiety was showing again, I could see she was itching to start rubbing at it. "Ems how's Charlie?"

"He doesn't want Jacob anywhere near Bella; he's totally blaming him for the accident." I cringed, I had a feeling he would be blaming Jake. "He should still go though. Charlie will be expecting him to turn up and you never know; he might have calmed down by the time you get there."

I nodded and secretively hoped she was right. Billy would be there too. He and Charlie went way back, they were pals; that should soften the atmosphere if nothing else did. One thing's for sure, Jake would have a lot of thinking to do on the journey, mostly thinking about what to say to Charlie when we got to the hospital.

I was pretty sure he had no idea about Jake, Bella and the Bikes. Untill now of course.

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Appologies for the Big rant etc at the start, please don't let it put you off **reviewing :)**


	22. The Quickening JPOV

**So sorry this one took so long, I've had a really busy week. **

**Anyway here it is.**

**Enjoy.**

**You know the score! they are all SM's**

**Please read and review.**

22

The Quickening.

I waited, fidgeting like a mad man. _Where the fuck is Sam already?_ We had left them almost three quarters of an hour ago for Christ's sake.

"He will be saying goodbye to Emily Jake, this is hard for them. They haven't been apart all ever since he imprinted on her, give the guy a break." I rolled my eyes at Billy; I knew he was right. I was just desperate to get going, to see my girl, to see for myself that she was going to be okay.

The past few hours had been torture. When I had seen her lying, with blood pouring out of her head, all hope had left me, it seemed as though she was gone. In those few hours, when I didn't know there was a chance for her, I felt like I was hanging on to sanity like my life depended on it, every now and then I would creep over and peek over the edge of the precipice. All that was on the other side was darkness and despair.

I was certain now that I couldn't go on without Bella in my life.

We were connected in a way that ran way deeper than friendship, desire or even love. And fuck me I was stumped for an answer. I didn't know what it was that did hold us together.

I could here the roar of Sam's truck as it trundled down the road. I had to admit though it was way more reliable than my VW, that wasn't really saying much in its favour though.

I bent down and hoisted the bags up onto my shoulder as Sam came to a stand still in front of us. He looked pretty upset. I panicked, had Emily had some news?

"Sam what is it?" He looked really stressed out; I fought to keep my head above the pool of anxiety that was threatening to drag me under.

"Dude, it's nothing, it's just hard leaving Ems, knowing that it's going to be a few days before I see her again."

"We'll keep a close eye on her Sam whilst you are away with Jake and Billy." Embry smiled widely at Sam. "Where else would you expect us to eat?"

"Embry call me if things get too much for her, and don't let her worry about us, I know she will, but will you promise me you will try and keep her occupied?" Sam was quietly falling to pieces. I immediately felt guilty for asking him to come with us.

"Sam, Billy and I can go on our own if you let me borrow your truck." Sam thought about it briefly I could tell he was considering it.

"Nope, no way Jacob, I know what you're like, you drive like a maniac, and my truck would be dead in less than a hundred miles." Sam chuckled and scratched at his head.

"So that's a no then is it?" I asked as I heaved the bags into the back of the truck.

"Yep you're right Jake, that's a no." Sam yawned. Fuck! I had forgotten that he hadn't slept during the night. I lifted Billy into the passenger side of the truck and walked around to the driver's side. I pulled the door open. Sam looked at me with confusion.

"Dude, your wacked, move over and I'll do some driving whilst you get your head down. I'm not going to argue with you. Move over." Sam was in no fit state to argue anyway.

We pulled out of La push at around five thirty in the evening. Sam quickly fell asleep, he was out before we were even ten miles outside of La Push and Billy wasn't far behind him. I had lifted a few CD's from the rabbit before we set off. I couldn't stand to listen to one of Sam's crappy Ho down albums; honest to god Sam should have been born in another era, why was I the only one who could see the irony of an authentic Native American listening to country and western music. It was dire.

I cracked the newest disc I had out of its case. The Script. It was the name of both the album and the band. I think it was Embry that had recommended it to me; we had really similar tastes in music.

The car was filled with words about crying and shit, it was real earthy music. I could listen to this without wanting to cut my wrist or fall asleep. _We are onto a winner here I think_.

Before I knew it we had travelled as far as Sequim. I had to have a pee stop there. I left Billy and Sam sleeping as I relieved myself and bought some candy and chips from the gas station.

I jumped back in and was going to shake Sam awake but he looked so peaceful with his nose pressed onto my dad's arm like a pig, drool was dripping off his chin. Sam was leaving a wet patch on Billy's checked shirt. He was going to be good about that.

Billy was just as bad. His head was lolling back and forth, his tongue hanging loosely out the side of his mouth. Every now and again one of them would grunt or chuff. They even parted with a few farts, you know, just to keep me alert. Christ Billy always could bring tears to a glass eye with his offensive odour. Every time he let one drop I had to roll down the window and just about hang my head out it. Jeez he really needed to lay off the beer.

I contented myself with thinking about how Bella was for the rest of the journey. I was desperate to see her, to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her everything was going to be ok, even if it wasn't.

We reached the Kingston ferry terminal just in time to catch the eight o clock ferry. It was a half hour crossing. _Half-an-hour with nothing to do but twiddle my thumbs._

After we had boarded the Spokane I shook Sam awake. He jumped as he tried to figure out where he was.

"Jake, where the hell are we?" his voice was low and gruff.

"We're on the ferry."

Sam rubbed his eyes and tried to wake himself up. "Shit, you were supposed to wake me up at Sequim Jacob." He turned and looked at Billy, who was still snoring his head off and occasionally playing a tune with his ass. "Jake I wanted to talk to you before we got to Seattle." He seemed a little irked.

"Shoot."

He breathed in a lungful of air before he started to talk again. "Emily spoke with Charlie on the phone before we left. Bella was in surgery having her leg fixed up, but the thing is Jake, Charlie really doesn't want you near her. I realise that he's just angry and no doubt should have calmed down a bit by now, but Jake he's not going to welcome you with open arms and you need to be prepared for that, you might need to accept that you might not see Bella at all when we first arrive. You also need to prepare yourself for what you are about to face when you do see her. She's in a bad way Jake and she hasn't woken up since the accident. So don't expect her to be _your_ Bella, I guess that the important thing that I'm trying to say here is that Charlie will find this all hard enough without you freaking out in front of him. So remember to keep a grip on yourself and for fuck sake no phasing. Okay?"

I looked at Sam and snorted. _All of that from Mr Sensitivity himself._ "It's cool Sam; I'm not going in there thinking everything will be a bed of roses. I know Charlie will be pissed at me, and I did see Bella after she came off the bike and trust me anything on that will be an improvement." Sam nodded at me before he leaned over towards the glove compartment. He dug around for a few moments before fishing out a well used A-Z of Seattle.

He looked me in the eye. "I hate the fucking city," he said dryly whilst he waived the A-Z about in front of my face.

When the ferry reached Edmonds we were one of the first vehicles to disembark. Sam had taken over the driving now. I didn't have a fucking clue when it came to driving in the city. The closest I had come to driving in heavy traffic was last month when the water supply company had been working on a main in Forks. They had put up temporary traffic signals which some of the local kids decided to vandalise. This threw the towns traffic into total disarray. There were jams in the main street for days.

Somehow we managed to navigate the rest of the journey through Seattle and eventually reached the hospital. We were soon pulling into a parking space at the front of the building. My palms got sweaty and my heart started to race. Panic was setting in again.

I swung the door open and leapt out, pacing away from Sam. He was left to lift Billy out of the truck. _He can manage, he's a big boy_.

The rain was bouncing off the ground; the parking lot was all but deserted. I spotted the main entrance and made a bee line for it. The urge to run towards the illuminated sign that indicated the way in was almost too strong to resist. Knowing that Bella was inside that building, only a thin wall or window separating us, it was as though she was calling me on. Nothing else mattered now, I had to get to her; I had to see her.

I upped my pace and started to jog towards the revolving doors underneath the glowing lights. I didn't realise I was on a road until I heard the blaring horn of a taxi. I jumped back a few feet and looked back towards Billy and Sam. I could see them waving and could hear their faint calls for me to wait for them, but I couldn't. I had to get inside and find Bella. I didn't know how I was going to do that. I couldn't wait for some stuck up reception nurse to track her down, that much I was sure of.

I wound my way through the rest of the parking lot. I was soaked to the skin, but I didn't care. Besides the steam was rising off of me like a swirling mist, the clothes would be dry pretty quick once I was out of the rain.

As I walked towards the doors I could feel sets of eyes settling onto me. I must be quite a sight, all six foot seven of me, busting with muscles and soaked to the skin. I noticed a group of nurses smoking by the door, they eyeballed me appraisingly, each one of them was faceless to me. There was only one reason why I was here, there was only one face for me now and I was on my blinkered way to find her.

I stepped out of the revolving door and into the warm hospital environment. I stood silently for a moment inhaling the alien smells and sounds that were attacking my senses. Shit, I would have to sift my way through a whole pile of crap before I would be able to pick out Bella's sweet scent in this place. I closed my eyes and tried to block every thing out.

Bella was my proverbial needle but instead of having to rummage one haystack looking for her, I had to work through ten. Every scent, every breath, every whiff of anaesthetic or antiseptic and every bleep of every fucking machine was a barrier to me finding her as fast as I needed to.

I tuned everything out until all I was left with was the thump of my own heart. I waited and then felt her call coming. I was almost there when my heartbeat was interrupted by some incessant fuckwit pulling on my shirt and screaming, "Sir, sir. Can I help you sir?" in my ear. I opened my eyes and glared at the short, red haired woman, who was still tugging at me. I felt my lips curl back over my teeth. The little woman backed away quickly. "Security... Security... We've got a live one."

I watched as two overweight, retired cops lumbered their way towards me across the crowded reception area. "Please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude, it's just... fuck it" I turned on my heels and ran.

I didn't have a fucking clue where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get away from here, before someone called the cops. I burst through some swing doors and headed towards what was sign posted as the cardiology unit. I was pretty sure Bella wasn't in here. But I had to find a quiet spot somewhere in this fucking hospital. As I ran down the corridor I noticed a janitor's closet lying open. I quickly checked around to make sure no one would see me going in. I entered the tiny space and closed the door behind me. I clamped my eyes shut tight once more and let the tension ebb away from me.

Once again I started to filter through all the random noises and smells of the hospital. I could hear breathing stop and start, machined bleeping rhythmically, others not so much. Newborn babied took their first breaths and dying patients took their last. New parents cried with joy, sons and daughters cried with grief at the passing of their parents, some doctors healed, others fucked nurses in cupboards. Hospitals were the one place where life bristled with a raw edge that was absent from most quarters of every day life.

I tuned them all out one by one until I was alone once more with only the sound of my own heart beat for comfort. I felt myself quicken, that's the only word I can think of to describe the sensations that swarmed over me. In a beat I felt my heart speed up as every hair on my body simultaneously stood on end, my breathing became shallow and laboured. A light vibration hummed on the surface of my skin. Again, I could feel her call coming for me...

Then I heard it, her heartbeat. I fixed the sound in my mind and burst though the door. I didn't need to look for any directions I let her lead me to her. It was like I was in a trance. I passed through a maze of corridors and bed bays like I had lived most of my life in this building. With each step I took, her heartbeat became louder, stronger.

I soon found myself pressed up against a glass wall that overlooked a bay with six beds, over the door were the letters I.C.U. This was the place. I cast my eyes over the beds. There was no sign of her, but I could still hear her. I closed my eyes again and followed what I felt in my heart. I scaled my way over to the glass door and pushed against it. It gave way easily under my touch. I stepped into the room and opened my eyes. This room was the most disorientating place I had been in my life. Each machine had a different purpose to the next. It was hard to discriminate what was a real human function from that of a controlled mechanical function. Some machines drained fluid away, some breathed for the patient others just recorded and charted other functions. I still couldn't see Bells. I gave up trying to look and decided to go on instinct. I closed my eyes again and let my body drift towards the source of the heartbeat.

I stopped when I felt the metal frame of the bed press against my shin. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down. She lay there in front of me, dead still. Her leg was wrapped in a thick plaster cast and suspended from a hoist. Her pale hands rested on the white blankets. There was an I.V line attached to a canola on the back of her left hand. I cast my eyes down. A urine bag was attached to the side of the bed. Her tiny body was covered in sensors and pads that had wires shooting in all directions, meeting up and connecting to different machines, like a tangled skein.

As I roamed my eyes across her frame I realised why I couldn't see her before, there was a mass of tubes taped over her mouth and nose. A large machine at the head of the bed forced air into her lungs. Her face was blackened and bruised. I wanted to throw up, right there on the floor.

Her head was swamped in a mass of medical dressings and from what I could see her hair was all gone, shaved away. I fell to my knees and took her right hand in mine. It was the only part of her that didn't have something sticking out of it. I brought my head down and held her hand against my cheek. I would have swapped places with her, in a heartbeat.

I could hear a commotion coming from the family room, right now though I was with Bella, and whatever was going down back there, well it would need to go down without me. I wasn't leaving her side. Not now.

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	23. Bella on a Bridge JPOV

**hi guys thanks for being so patient and waiting for this update.**

**this chapter becomes a little strange in the second part, you shoud see the angle i'm coning from, hopfully!**

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**23**

Bella on a Bridge

"GET OUT...GET OUT NOW...GET. HIM. OUT. OF. HERE. NOW!"

"Charlie calm down." Sam tried to defuse Charlie's rage. I couldn't bring my self to turn and face him. Despite my overwhelming relief at Bella being alive and the intense feeling of contentment from finally being alongside her, I was, for the first time since arriving in Seattle, beginning the feel an incredible burden of guilt for letting this happen to her in the first place. And it hurt like hell.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN! If it wasn't for your buddy here, Bella would be safe and at home now, not lying here in a strange place hooked up to who knows what types of machines just so she can stay alive." Charlie's teeth clicked shut. "I mean look at her, what the hell did she do to deserve this? After all that shit last year with that Cullen boy when he went to bring her back from Phoenix, she broke the same leg for Christ sake, and for what? So he could walk away a few months later, leaving her for dead." Charlie's voice was breaking with each word.

Billy was the next person to speak. His deep tone was strong yet comforting, for me anyway. "Yep Charlie, your right Bella didn't deserve any of that and she certainly doesn't deserve to be lying in a hospital bed like this. But you cannot put any of this onto Jacob. Bella is nobody's fool, she knew what she was getting into with the Cullen boy, she knows what she is getting into with Jacob and she knew what she was doing when she got on that bike. And who knows, if she hadn't come off the bike, then she would have probably went cliff diving on her own again." Charlie audibly gasped at that. Of course he knew nothing of Bella's insane cliff diving escapades from the other day.

"What do you mean cliff diving?" Charlie scoffed slightly at the thought.

"Oh yeah Charlie, if it wasn't for our Jake pulling her out of the sea you would probably be arranging her funeral right now." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I couldn't believe Billy was spouting this insensitive crap at a time like this. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Jake, is this true?" Charlie waited for my reply. What was I going to say? I didn't want to tell him the truth. If I did I would be betraying Bella, I decided not to reply. "Jake... answer me god damn it!" I felt Charlie grasp at the collar of my tee shirt and try to drag me off my spot on the floor beside Bella's bed. I turned towards him. His fist was raised in the air ready to strike.

"Yes, it is true, I saw him do it myself" Sam's voice filled the room before Charlie could unleash his fist upon my face. Not that he would have done me any damage, but he would have hurt himself badly, then I would have a shit load of questions to answer. I knew Sam only spoke up to protect me and the pack from any unwanted attention.

Charlie continued to glare at me with his fist raised. His face had softened slightly and reflected more confusion than anger. I nodded once to confirm what the two others had said. His hand immediately relaxed and he brought his hands to his face.

"Tell me they're lying Jake, please, tell me she didn't try to kill herself." Charlie tried to hold himself together; he had misunderstood Billy's insensitive blabbing of the events. I quickly gathered my thoughts together.

"No, No! Charlie that wasn't the case, lots of the kids do it in La Push, it's just that the day Bella decided to give it a go, none of us were with her and there was a bit of a storm." I tried to convince Charlie of this version of events although I had spent a lot of time thinking the very words he had just uttered.

"Why in the hell would she want to do that? It's just so out of character for her, god she wouldn't let me push her too high on a swing just a few years ago. I can't understand what would motivate her to do something like that." Charlie stared incredulously at me for a moment as if he was waiting for me to provide him with the answers he wanted, but I couldn't, because I was just as confused as he was as to the motivation for the risky behaviour.

Granted I didn't really get to know Bella as well as I do now, until she turned up at my place with the busted up bikes, but I knew her well enough to know that high octane adrenaline sports and events were not her thing. I secretly suspected the most risky thing Bella had done before then might have been reading a book that was outside the genre of Classics. Well, that and dating a vampire.

"I don't know Charlie," I hung my head.

"What about this motorbike she fell off, where the hell did that come from?" Charlie stared at me, suspecting there could only be one answer.

I told him the whole story, minus the intimate details. He just looked sad as I finished telling him.

"Here I thought she was getting better, but really she was getting much worse, Christ Jake her behaviour was verging on self harm. Why didn't you stop her?" Again the blame was on me.

"Charlie, I knew if I tried to stop her or wasn't with her, she would just go do it on her own and probably do more damage to herself than she has."

"Really, More damage than this?" he pointed to Bella's lifeless body on the bed.

Billy coughed. "Like I said Charlie, if it hadn't been for Jake the other day..."

Charlie's shoulders slumped forward. I had never seen him look so exhausted or defeated in all the time I'd known him. He sat down in the chair next to Bella's bed and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands.

"Charlie... I know you hate me right now, but you've got to believe me. I will never let anyone or anything hurt Bella ever again." I turned back towards her and wrapped her tiny hand in mine, then kissed the tips of her fingers.

Billy spoke once more. "Charlie you look exhausted, why don't you come along with me and Sam and help us find a place to stay for the night? Jacob will stay here and call us if there are any changes."

Charlie huffed and looked at me once more, then placed his hand on my shoulder. "You ok with that son?"

I looked up and nodded before I softly answered, "Yeah."

They hung around for a few minutes debating where the best place would be to stay, then decided on a motel just outside the city. Sam and Emily had spent a few weekends at it and it seemed to have their seal of approval. They left.

I drew the chair that Charlie had been sitting on over to the side of the bed and sat down. I examined Bella starting at her head. She would be devastated that her hair was gone; it was like she used it as a shield to protect her from life.

I had lost count of the times she had hidden her soft pink blushes behind it. Then of course her chocolate mane held memories for me, like when Bella had first returned to Forks and I had to introduce her to her new truck. I joined her inside the cab and helped her familiarise herself with the dodgy, double pump clutch and was overcome with the sweet smell of strawberries, never a favourite of mine until that very moment. I can't believe she didn't notice me having an uncontrolled sniffing episode as I sat there beside her. I so wanted to burry my face in her hair right there and then and get lost in the blissful scent of hers.

Then there was the time we were on First beach together, when she'd tried her hand at a bit of flirting, she needn't have bothered with the façade, I would have told her anything she needed to know, I would have done anything just to spend those few moments alone with her. But that day, that was the day I swore to myself that I would strive to be whatever she needed me to be, whatever it took to win her heart. She had tossed and twirled her hair between her fingers in one of the lamest come-on events I had ever witnessed, but dang, it worked a treat. She had me from that moment.

Then of course there was the way her hair felt like silk when I had ran my fingers through it last night, the way it flowed through my fingers and tumbled around her face as I kissed her, the way it curled onto her shoulders and brushed across her breasts, the way it hung across the bed as I held her close and melted into her. I longed to hold her close and feel her softness against me.

I cast my eyes down her body towards her broken leg. Now that could pose a few problems in the future, she would have a lot of healing to do before I would be able to go there again. I chuckled into myself, it's true what they say, you know, about guys thinking about sex every two minutes, it was really inappropriate at times like this though. I immediately felt guilty about that, which effectively cooled any ardour I was beginning to experience. I was truly sick in the head.

I lay my head on the bed beside her and curled the fingers of her good hand over and around my cheek. I pressed my hot hand over hers and held it there firmly as I watched her. Sleep came quickly.

oooOooOooOooOooo

_I see her, she is standing on a bridge, waiting in the dark, wringing her hands together, and she is worried beyond belief. Suddenly she disappears and a child with flowing curls replaces her. She wears a flowing white sundress. The rain pours from the sky. The child calls out "Isn't any one trying to find me?" _

_The image changes, It's Bella once more. I try to move forward but I'm stuck, I call out "I'm with you, Bella, can't you see me?" She doesn't. _

_I watch in horror as images fill the air behind her, she doesn't watch, she stares blankly ahead. _

_Edward is walking past her, he is the image of beauty, his golden eyes pull me in and I am struck with awe. He is beautiful. Bella raises her hand and the image disappears like a wisp of smoke._

_She sits next to him in a classroom, I think, hiding behind her hair, he is angry, I want to kill him. Again, she dispels the image with a wave of her hand. Her face remains stoic. _

_I stand helplessly as one by one images of Edward appear and evaporate. Bella waves each one away with flick of her wrist. _

_I vomit as I am overcome with feelings of desperate love for the man I hate with all that I am. The images continue, he kisses her and holds my Bella. Then he is kissing me, his hands are in m_y _hair and I want to grind myself against him but he holds me still, he denies me I am desperate for his touch. _

_I am flying through the air, landing on a table as shards of glass bite into my arm. Then I am with him in the forest and he is telling me goodbye. All that I feel is catastrophic loss of the beautiful being before me. I want to kiss him and hold on to him forever and never let him go._

_Then the burn begins, a terrifying gaping hole tears at my chest. Suddenly all the lights go out. _

_I stand for a moment, gasping as I try to regain control of myself and figure out what the hell is happening to me. Bella is still on the bridge, staring into space, only now she clutches at her body, trying to hold herself together. I look down and notice that I am mirroring her stance. __**So this is how it feels. **_

_Suddenly the sun sears through the sky, binding me with its light and fixing me with its warmth. The light is so bright I can't look directly at it, Bella on the bridge smiles as tears roll down her cheeks from behind closed eyes. _

_The whole sky comes alive with images of Bella and the sun, her own personal sun; it follows her wherever she goes, only leaving her for brief moments of darkness. I can see and feel her love for it._

_The sun towers over her, but she has no fear of it, only love. It kisses her and touches her soul and brings to her the most intense feelings of pleasure. _

_I hate it, I want to be the one to do that for her, what is this fucking sun doing here anyway? All the things I am witnessing are things that I have done with her or places we have been together. I mean who in their right mind takes a fucking sunshine to the cinema to watch a gory movie?_

_I look towards Bella on the bridge. She looks directly at me now, she grins at me insanely before morphing into the familiar little girl from before. Somehow I love this little girl. In a heartbeat she morphs back and holds her arms out for me. I come unstuck and go to her._


	24. Awakening BPOV

**Happy weekend guys. I know my postings have gotten a little drawn out recently but there is good reason for this. I am a Kindergarden teacher and we recently recieved word that we are due a big Government (HMIE) inspection, so most of my attention has been focussed on this for the past few weeks and will continue to be untill the 21rst of October, and at that point this story will have my undevided attention. yey!!!**

**I was havin a search through some Jacob and Bella stories earlier today and I came across one that i think has HUGE potential it's called DREAMING OF BUTTERFLIES and it's by an author called STRETCH now i don't normaly do this but i think it's gonna be a fantastic story. There are 10 chapters on already and it's well worth a look especially if you like stories with a different slant on them.**

**I don't own anything apart from your awsome reviews so gimme more, please!**

**Here's the one you've all been waiting for.**

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24

Awakening

Somewhere, in the background, I can hear the steady beeping of my alarm clock piercing through the heavy haze within my head. I try to reach towards it, to turn it off but something's not right. It sounds different, foreign. I attempt to reach once more to turn the incessant thing off, but I am stuck; in a place between awake and asleep.

I struggle to break through the thick fog and open my eyes; they won't open to more than a peep. My vision behind my eyes registers a red glow, like the red glow that appears behind your eyelids when basking in the light of the sun on a summer day. I try to force them open, but the light is too bright.

I begin to register sensations that are unfamiliar and unusual. I hear the sound of balloons inflating followed by a sharp click.

_What the hell is that_?

I try in vain to peep again but my lids won't budge.

_Okay lets try again Bella, it's only a dream, just nip yourself and you'll be fine._

I try to move my hand again, my limbs are like lead; I can't move anything.

_Okay now I'm feeling more than a little freaked out. Please god, let me wake up now._

I can feel the panic start to rise in my chest. The beeping noise quickens in response to my worried state. It drills into my nerves, only serving to heighten the panic that grips me like an iron vice.

My throat burns, dry like the desert, I have a thirst that feels unquenchable. I try to swallow, to ease the burn, but I can't, something stops me and now I feel like I'm suffocating, something long and flexible is jammed in my mouth and it snakes down into my throat. I try to reach for it to pull it free, but I can't, my hands wont move.

I am washed over with grief. I just want to be able to escape this nightmare. The sunshine from my dream has gone from view but I can still feel the heat from it. Something within me has changed, altered, but I can't put my finger on what that something is. I am lost.

I feel the tears spring to my eyes; it seems they are the only thing I have control of.

They seep through my disobedient eyelids and burn a path down behind my ears, I feel them trickle through my hair and soak into the pillow behind my head.

Something shifts beside my leg. I search through my mind, trying to figure out what it could be. The alarm begins to speed up again, only this time, it doesn't even out; it races like an express train.

My heart thumps in time with the beeps and now I realise it's not a dream or a nightmare at all. This is real.

Sounds and smells fall into place as my heart accelerates further, sending the monitor into frenzy, and whatever is lying on the bed beside me shifts again and stumbles onto the floor.

"Bella...Bella can you hear me?" I recognise the voice but I can't match it with a face, my thoughts are all scrambled. Nothing fits into place.

"Bells wait a moment I'll go get someone. I'll be right back." I hear rushed footsteps fade away, whoever that voice belongs to he's here to help me.

A few moments later I hear feet re entering the room, there are more this time. A woman speaks to me gently as she wipes the tears that have escaped from me eyes.

"Bella just bare with us for a few minutes, there are a few things we need to do before we can make you comfortable." I feel her cold hand slip into mine, it is the polar opposite of the warmth I had been feeling against my leg, I try to process this, it seems significant but I can't seem to follow the thought through to any depth.

"Bella, if you can hear me I need you to try really hard and squeeze my fingers." I muster all the strength I have and try to wrap my fingers around the invisible woman's hand. My fingers twitch against her skin, which isn't great but it's better than before.

"Yep, she's coming too. Quick, take the tape from her eyes and prepare to remove the intubation."

I can feel someone remove small strips of micro pore from my eyelids, it tugs gently at my eye lashes sending rays of light searing into my pupils, and the pain is indescribable. I clamp them shut and begin to retch as the tube invading my windpipe takes on a new level of irritation, I can feel it rub and slide against my epiglottis I try to swallow against it and only succeed in causing further retching.

"What the fuck is happening to her? Help her for Christ sake." The warm voice calms me even though it is very obviously worried and I still can't picture whom it belongs to.

"Jacob, calm down or you will have to leave the room." The woman's voice is stern and commanding, whoever she is though, she had the measure of Jacob, whoever he is, because he does what he is told, he shuts up immediately.

I feel a warm hand slip into mine and gently squeeze my fingers. It's comfortable and familiar.

"Bella don't try to open your eyes for a while, it's too bright in here. My colleague and I are going to remove the tube in your throat. It will be uncomfortable and you will want to vomit just try to relax as much as you can, it will be easier that way."

The thumb of the warm person begins to rub circles on the back of my hand, I relax under its touch, again I am bewildered by the feeling of familiarity I have for the man they call Jacob.

The medical staff begin to remove tape from around my mouth and gently tug at the breathing tube that is now threatening to choke me. It burns intensely as they pull it from my windpipe. My leaden body retches again and again until finally, the tube is out.

I try to praise my eyes open once more, it is still too bright for me to see and all I can make out between blinks are shadows. "That's all you can expect just now Bella," the nurse explains. "You haven't used them in almost six weeks." Six weeks? What the hell happened to me?

"Jacob, can you draw the blinds and dim the overhead lights? It will be easier for Bella to see if you do." I hear the man move around the room, carrying out his instructions from the nurse.

I blink my eyelids heavily and at first only blurry shadows appear. I hear Jacobs smooth tone cut through the silence. "I best go call her dad, let him know she's awake."

"You do that Jacob, and take your time, Bella won't be going anywhere." I hear his footsteps leave the room.

I look over to the woman and whisper, "Who is that?" her grip on my hands tighten and she chuckles gently.

"Honey, that is who is making you the envy of the hospital right now."

"Wh...What happened to me?" I croak. My bottom lip starts to tremble as the confusion starts to pull me under again. The nurse hugs my shoulders gently for a brief moment.

"Don't worry about whose and what's just now just relax and it will soon come back to you. It's normal for someone who's had a head injury to forget some stuff for a while; if you want I can ask Jacob to fill you in."

I don't want some stranger filling me in on the last six weeks of my life; I want Charlie or better yet Renée to tell me what happened. "No it's ok thanks, I'll wait for my dad. I think it would be better coming from him than a stranger." The nurse pats my hand and I can see lines of concern spread over her face.

"Bella, Jacob is no stranger, I can assure you. He's never left your bedside for more than a few minutes since you returned to forks over four weeks ago, gosh he's cared for you more than we ever could have given our current staffing levels. He has even spent the last few weeks reading Emily Bronte and Shakespeare to you whilst you were out of it, now if that's not devotion, I don't know what is." The nurse smiles sympathetically at me and lifts herself off the side of the bed. "Now you go easy on him you hear," she giggles. Before she left the room, the nurse places the call button onto the bed next to me and tells me that a senior doctor will call in and see me soon.

I lay my head back against the pillow and close my eyes. Whatever has happened, it doesn't matter right now; I am safe. And despite the obvious fact that recently, this had not been the case, something tells me I am safer now than I have been in a long time.

My mind flicks through the facts that I know with regards to my current predicament.

I:-

* Have received quite a significant head injury

* Have been in what I suspected was a coma, although no one had actually called it that.

* A strange man (who apparently isn't a strange man) has been caring for me for the past few weeks.

* Said strange man is partial to classic novels.

* My eyes hurt

* I want to puke

* My head is cold...

_My head is cold? Why the hell is my head cold?_

I lift my now responsive hands up to my head.

_Oh godohgodohgod no, please no, not my hair, please god no_.

All I can feel is short velvety stubble as I rub my hand back and forth in a frenzy. Tears spring quickly to my eyes.

"You know...it actually suits you." I almost jump out of my skin as I register the voice in the corner of the room. In the dim light I can't see his face but I know his voice. He steps from the shadows and I realise in an instance that I know him; he is the man from my dreams.

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**Sorry it's just a shorty!**

**Review please :) :) :)**


	25. Eyes on Fire JPOV

**Hi guys some where in my busy schedual I managed to find a few spare hours to write another chapter this week. Hopefully I will be able to maintain this. I must say a big thanks to _WendyJH, Preciousfairymom80, beckyboo100, Yankeerose, Fyshnikki, KittiHakubi and luvinJazz_ for having faith in my writing and for reading and reviewing my new story, Forbidden. **

**It's another BXJ story. Very much darker than First Beach though and still in the early chapters. It does come with a content warning and most will find the first few chapters distressing. **

**You all know how much I love your reviews so please be generous with them, and if you haven't already done it, get your butts over to my new story and let me know what you think :)**

** I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate your advice and messages of encouragement.**

**Again it's all hers.**

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25

Eyes on fire

My heat sank in my chest and I stopped dead in my tracks as I stepped outside the tiny side room. The disappointment at what I heard was fighting to outweigh the relief that the nightmare of the past six weeks was drawing to a close.

"Who is that?" she whispered to Annie. She didn't remember me.

I had been about to go and phone Charlie, we were just back on speaking terms following the police investigation into Bella's crash. He was still finding it difficult to drop the blame game, even after the tests on the bike had been conclusive.

Following Bella's transfer back to Clallam County the week after the accident, I had been taken in for questioning. Turns out the brake pipes on the bike had been cut.

The pack and I had searched all over the peninsula for some kind of clue as to who could have done it. We knew it wasn't any one from La Push; the guys had been all over my place since we had gone through our transformations; one of them would have easily picked up an unusual, or even a familiar scent that was out of place and there was no question of it being one of my brothers. We just couldn't figure it out.

Anyway as I mentioned, we had searched all over the peninsula searching for something, anything that would give us an inkling of what had went down, who, what, where and most of all why.

The only comfort I gained from the whole experience was that it looked as thought whoever had done the deed seemed to be targeting me. Bella's own bike had been taken for testing straight after the accident too, despite the obvious damage she had done to it by kicking the stand into oblivion, everything else on her bike had been in perfect working order.

I had given my statement on several occasions, to several different detectives, Quil and Embry even had to give statements as to the ownership of each bike, my relationship with Bells and some of the locals were questioned about repairs I had carried out on their vehicles. Every line of investigation against me was a dead end like I knew it would be. Charlie had pulled out all the stops to investigate why this had happened to Bella, but he, like me, was left without any answers.

With my heart in my shoes a moved to the pay phone and called Charlie with the news. He was getting off shift early and heading over once he had showered and changed.

I rested my head against the pay phone and clenched my eyes shut, bracing myself for the realisation that my reoccurring nightmare was about to come true, back to the same old story, Jacob Black, disillusioned shape shifter and loner in love. I should know by now that my luck with Bella was to be short lived. Still I can fight a busted brain and crappy memory. At least I hadn't lost her to the bloodsucker. No matter how long it took, I was patient; I could win her heart again.

I had been through hell over the past six weeks. I couldn't eat, could barely sleep, all I saw when I did eventually get over was an action replay of the moments I found Bella lying lifeless on the sand. Only the blood was everywhere and the stench of vampire was over-powering. My brain was fucked.

The fatigue was getting me down, the only time I could rest without the graphic Bella brain splat dreams was on the occasions when I fell asleep drooling on Bella's hospital sheets. Even then though, I experienced a whole new Bella-esq brain fuck. But it was easier than my own memories though, and in every one of those dreams I got to be with Bells.

They had started out very dark, after the one I had in the hospital that first night in Seattle, the main theme had been cliff diving, of all things and despite my not seeing her jump that day in La Push, I had very visual dreams of her doing just that. The point of view seemed to shift from watching to doing, one minute I was watching her run, me, frozen in some crazy glue- floppy leg style dream state, the next I'm flying through the air and trying to prevent my muscles from tearing themselves apart as I shatter through the icy cold water. All the time I have this absurd feeling that I'm looking for something important whilst wave after wave of despair washes over me. This mind vomit eventually ends with me lying on the beach being blinded by the sun.

Over the weeks though this dream had eventually moved over for a series of new ones, some I hasten to add had got very, ahem, graphic, mostly involving a sun doing very unspeakable things to me. Like I said. Brain...fucked.

More recently though the dreams had become sort of prophetic. Dreaming that I was about to wake up, but then not. This was worse than the brain splat dream as I always woke up feeling exhausted and irritated, I'd even growled and shit at one of the nurses when she hadn't changed Bella's pee bag before it had leaked onto the floor. Bella would have died of embarrassment if she had been conscious. Don't get me wrong I realised how short staffed they were but there was no excuse for that. I eventually convinced Annie, the lead nurse, to show me how to change the bags over. I wanted to maintain Bella's dignity whilst she was out of it. I knew she'd never see it that way if she ever found out that I had changed her pee bag, so I bribed Annie into secrecy by getting the rest of the pack to go around her house, give her back and front yard a good tidy up and put up a wooden shed she had bought. She had been widowed at a young age and had no kids of her own to help with that type of stuff. So she had happily agreed to our secret.

As I stood with my head resting against the pay phone I began to debate with myself on whether I should seriously consider getting a CAT scan, surely my raised body temperature had the potential to cause brain damage or something. The more I thought about the absurd dreams I'd been having, the more convinced I was that they would find a tumour the size of a baseball.

I was drawn from my musings when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Jacob, you should go be with her, she needs you right now." Annie's soft tone told me that she knew I had over heard Bella ask about who I was. "Things will become clear to her soon, but she needs you right now, even if she doesn't think she does."

I raised a faint smile as she patted me on the shoulder.

As quietly as I could, I pushed Bella's room door open and tiptoed silently inside. The room was very dimly lit and the blinds that I had pulled before leaving the room; provided an effective black out, so much so you would think it was the dead of night.

Bella lay very still on the bed and I worried that she had left us again, the only signs of life, was the steady rhythm of her self sufficient breaths and the constant thump of her heart. I was overcome with emotion for the slight beauty that she was. I wanted to hold her and feel her body close to mine, but now I couldn't, she didn't know who I was. I battled with myself to keep my composure and not frighten the life right out of her by scooping her up and kissing her until fire and love consumed both of us. My heart longed to hold her but my head was desperate not to frighten her by giving myself to the over whelming emotions that I had for her. Whatever happened in the next few moments would be at Bella's pace, on Bella's terms.

I pressed myself against the wall of the room and watched intently as her eyes slowly opened, she focussed on a spot on the wall and peered intensely at it then she flicked her eyes from side to side trying to force her weak eyes to find details in the wall paper. Then she layback against the pillow once more and closed her eyes, her face scrunched and contorted as she thought deeply about what I suspected was her current predicament.

As I watched I could see a look of confusion swarm over her face then she quickly raised her hands and rubbed them over her head, her heart rate soared and panic gripped her. This was the moment I had feared, the moment when she would realise that her protective shield of hair was gone, the moment when I knew I'd struggle to keep my emotions in check.

Tears began to trickle over her cheeks and run off her chin, my heart broke for her. I couldn't stand it any longer, Bella's hurt was my hurt and it had begun to drive me insane, I had to make her feel better.

"You know...it actually suits you," I murmured softly, trying not to startle her. Her tears halted as if suspended in time and she raised her eye's to meet mine.

"Jacob?" The way she said it teetered between a question and a statement. All of a sudden I was over taken with nervousness. It was like all those months I'd spent comforting her and playing best friends with her had never happened, like all that followed had never occurred. And then it struck me, for her, this would be like a first meeting and if she didn't remember me then it was unlikely she would remember Edward, the vampire stuff and the fact that I was a werewolf.

I stepped slowly from my shaded haven and walked towards her. Her eyes met mine and I instantly felt like I had been punched in the gut, the look of fire in her eyes almost knocked me on my back and I had to gasp for air. The room began to constrict around me as my heartbeat banged in my ears. I couldn't speak. Something had changed in her.

The pheromones danced off her skin and attacked my senses. Something inside me was shaking me to the core, and it wasn't my werewolf self, of that much I was sure. She held my gaze and again she spoke. Her voice was surreal in my ears, like listening from underwater. "Jacob..." this time there was no hint of a question in her voice, she knew exactly who I was, and even if that was all, it was enough. I covered the final few feet between us in one stride and swept her into my chest.

And then I cried, I admit it; I cried like a baby, I had missed her so much.

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	26. What Dreams may Come BPOV

**Hi there just a wee note to let you all know that I continue to be stoked by all your reviews. I am appologising now for not replying to them as often as i want and i will try to catch up with them after the following torture had passed.**

**As i have mentioned in the last few chapters i have a big (week long) inspection happening at work beginning on 10/19/2009 there is a lot of preasure on me for this so i won't be updating this story untill 10/24/2009 at the earliest. Just so you know. **

**Anyway enjoy this one in the meanwhile. And wish me luck.**

**BTW i have just started a community in honour of our best loved wolf boy. It's called FOR THE LOVE OF JACOB BLACK. i'm trying to compile an archive of the best Jacob stories. They can be AH/AU/OC/OOC/WIP or COMP/ any pairing, you name it! they dont have to be gramatically perfect, just bloody good reads. so if you've got any you would like to suggest drop me a PM and i will give them a read. i've already put some of my favourites on there so check it out.**

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**26**

**What dreams may come.**

Over the following few weeks, I was the subject of endless prodding, testing, questions and scans. My body was healing remarkably well and surprisingly fast, but most of my memories remained shrouded in a thick blanket of darkness.

I clearly remembered arriving in Forks to live with Charlie and I remembered Jacob and Billy coming to welcome me to Forks with the truck, but that was pretty much it. I knew I had been out of it for a few weeks but even I was aware that the Jacob who was now my constant companion was very different from the boy that had greeted me that day.

I had no idea how our acquaintance had developed into the friendship it now was, which of course led to my uncertainty of what sort of relationship it was that we actually had. I knew it was more than just a fleeting friendship, I could feel that much in myself.

Jacob only ever seemed to leave my bedside to sleep, eat and wash. Occasionally he would stay and talk with me into the small hours of the morning, he had every one of the female nurses under his spell, one blinding grin from him and they turned a blind eye to his little sleepovers.

He was there to support me and offer encouragement through every examination and physio session I had. My muscles had become badly weakened whilst I had been in the coma, so not only did I have to have therapy for my almost healed fracture but I also needed to improve my overall muscle tone before I could go home.

According to the experts, my lack of memory was entirely normal given the head injury I had sustained. They ensured me most, if not all, would return depending on the intensity of the memory and whether I came into contact with an appropriate trigger, such as smells and sounds . I had to be content with that for now.

However something strange was happening in my brain that I was definitely not disclosing to anyone for the fear of a psych evaluation. The vivid 'dreams' that I had been experiencing during the coma had continued and were in-fact intensifying with each passing night, the main star of these was my one and only friend, Jacob Black. The mornings after these dreams, the tension and frustration in the atmosphere was palpable. To add to my growing frustration, whenever I tried to steer the conversation towards our friendship, Jacob stonewalled me and drove it in another direction. I know he had been advised not to remind me of the past in case I became overwhelmed and had a relapse, but I was frankly becoming so frustrated I thought my head might explode.

Apart from the one very intense, rib crushing embrace we had shared after I had awoken from the coma, Jacob had kept the physical contact to a minimum. On one occasion he even flinched away from my touch when I had tried to reassure him that I would be okay if he couldn't spend the day with me. He had some sort of tribal meeting to attend, which I must admit I found unusual given that he was only seventeen years old. Most seventeen year olds spent their time hanging with their friends, chilling out, not talking tradition with a bunch of old farts on a town council.

Anyway his reaction on that occasion had sparked something in me, suspicion.

So I decided to start pushing the boundaries with him, to test him and find out if my suspicion was right. Was he avoiding my touch?

I tried at every available opportunity to touch him in some way, you know, remove an eyelash from his cheek, hold his hand, ruffle his hair, anything just to test his boundaries, but every time I got close he would pull away. This little game continued for a few days and his tactics to avoid physical contact grew more elaborate and obvious as time went on. Whatever his problem was I wanted to get to the bottom of his incredulous efforts. So I concocted a plan.

On the second Friday after my awakening we had to make the short journey to the physio suite for my daily session. Up until this point I had been wheeled around in a hospital buggy, but today? Today I was feeling stronger, today I would walk there and today Jacob would walk with me, Annie made sure of that. She charged him with my safety and shot him a warning look, making it clear that I better come back in one piece.

We made off down the hallway. My plan was coming together nicely; well I hoped it was, because the next part depended very much on how Jacob would react.

We chatted about nothing in particular as usual, the weather outside, his friends, my dad, fishing trips and the truck amongst many other 'safe' topics. If I was going to say something, now was the time to do it.

"Jacob?" I said trying not to make what I was about to ask sound too rehearsed.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"Is there something you're not telling me? It's just that you seem to be here most of the time and I don't get why that is." I cut myself off before I started to sound too eager.

"Eh...um...what do you mean?" Nicely dodged Jacob Black, I was going to have to tread carefully here so as not to make him clam up. I turned to face him; he was easily four feet way from me.

"Well its just that I think I'm beginning to remember some stuff from before, but I'm not sure if it was a real memory or the remnant of a dream," I lied "But I'm kind of leaning towards them being memories from a dream." There it was, the line was out there all I had to do was wait to see if Jacob would take the bait.

Jacob flushed bright red and looked a bit panicked. His eyes darted from one end of the empty corridor to the other as if looking out for people listening. "What is it? What is it you remember?" he seemed anxious and moved in closely as if he was expecting me to make some life changing disclosure. I of course had nothing, this was a complete bluff. I searched through the conversations we had had over the past week and a bit, I drew a blank so I decided to bluff him some more hoping he would crack.

"Look, don't listen to me I'm raving like a loon, I'm sure if it was true I wouldn't need to ask you about it, you wouldn't be able to keep it to yourself the way you blab your every thought." He drew back and a smirk crept across his face, then the look of realisation that he had almost been duped into spilling his guts, but had realised my plan just in time. I had failed in my mission. Humph!

His smirk morphed into a chuckle, then into full blown guffawing. I raged silently, cussing myself for letting him see through me. I fought to maintain my composure and moved to turn away from him, embarrassed and defeated, only when I turned, my foot caught in my crutch and I started to fall face first towards the shiny corridor floor. My arms flailed as stumbled, then I felt him. His searing hands, clamping around my waist, touching the bare skin just at my belly.

He was hot, way too hot.

Images flashed through my head as his hands seared my skin: Me gasping for air, him pulling me free from water, kissing me, holding me, a sunset, a touch; every image softened and watery. I gasped as the memories passed by as quickly as they came. I tried desperately to gleam as much from the scenes as I could.

"Argh! Jacob! What's happening to me?" I clasped at the side of my head as the images continued to flow like a river through my head. I could feel him pull me closer, wrapping himself around me, shushing me, trying to comfort me, but his hand and arms and torso were too hot, like he was running a dangerously high temperature. I tried to push away from him to free myself from his vice like grip, but the more I struggled the tighter he held me too him.

"Shush Bella, its okay, its okay, relax, I got you." He continued to plead with me to calm down, but the more he held me the harder and faster the memories came. The feel of him the sweet smell of him, the strength of him only served to intensify and clarify each memory. An ache grew in my chest like nothing I can remember feeling before, a longing ache that was drenched with emotion, an emotion that frightened me and soothed me at the same time.

"Jake, what's happening?" I trembled and shook in his arms as the tears streamed from my eyes.

I could feel him shift me in his arms, turning me to face him, still holding me tightly as I shuddered and twitched with each passing memory.

"Bella, please, shush, some one will hear." He was still for a moment then I felt him lift me off my feet and carried me like a child. I wrapped myself around him and clung to his neck. The memories blinded me from reality, I could hear doors open and close and then felt Jacob place me on a soft surface and move away from me. As soon as there was distance between us the images in my head stopped. I sat at the side of the bed gasping for air, trying to figure out hat had just happened.

"Shit, shit, shitshitshitshitshit." Jacob danced about in front of me cussing like a sailor for a few moments. "God Bella I am so sorry, the doc's said this could happen. I knew it would, I just didn't want it to happen here, are you ok? Please, tell me, what did you see?" It took me a few moments to realise what was going on, to realise that what was happening now was real. I couldn't figure out why Jacob was so panicked.

I looked around the room that we were in. There was nothing familiar about it, beds were crammed into the corner of the room and chairs were piled up against one of the walls, it looked more like a storeroom than anything.

"Bella, tell me," Jacob whispered. He was only inches away from me. I wrung my hands together and begun to tell him of the things I had seen.

Everything I told him he took in his stride. I held the stuff about us until last, until I had seen his reaction to everything else. It seemed that what I had experienced were real memories, this piece of information was a comforting and unnerving at the same time; comforting because it meant that things were finally coming back to me and unnerving because it seems I was living quite a risky lifestyle, something that I didn't expect. Jacob didn't disturb my outpouring and only offered information when I was having trouble putting the fragmented memories together.

Once I had straightened some scenes in my head I turned to him. Jacob looked relaxed and there was a hint of relief in his expression. My nervousness started to get the better of me, here I was, plain, bald and Bella, about to put myself out there with the guy who had become my very best friend in the world, I was about to put his relief to waste. With butterflies in my belly I readied myself to ask the one question that had been slowly torturing me since before the memories had come. The same memories that, if to be believed, confirmed the validity of the question I was about to ask.

"Jacob? I saw something else, but before I tell you what it is, you need to answer me one question." Jacob shifted about uneasily and he started to chew his lower lip. "Why are you here with me?" His face flushed and a relieved smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"Bella, I'll give you this much, you're persistent if nothing else. Do you really need me to answer that?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. He shifted closer towards me; his warm breath flowed over my face and down my neck.

I looked into his deep black eyes and whispered "Yes." My heart started racing in my chest as he inched forward again.

"You sure?" he smirked at me as I started to tremble.

"Mmhhmm" I raised a small smirk myself this time. I could feel a small bead of sweat pool between my shoulder blades, the heat he was emitting was surreal. He inched in again leaving only a few centimetres between us.

"Absolutely?"

"Uh hu," I squeaked as the bead of sweat trickled down my back.

I closed my eyes for what felt like an eternity before he closed the distance between us and pressed his lips onto mine. He brushed his mouth across mine tenderly for a few moments and then gently begun to suck at my bottom lip. I began to gasp again as the emotion I had experienced during my flash back flooded into my body. Jacob placed a hand on the bed at either side of my hips. My body started to shake against his as the anticipation and excitement built in me. I drew his top lip lightly into my mouth as he mirrored my actions with my bottom lip. My heart thumped against my ribs as he leaned into me, closing any distance there was between us, deepening the kiss, skimming my lips with his tongue, teasing me to open up. Anxiety took over me and I froze for a moment. The emotions coursing through me were both foreign and familiar. Jacob felt me hesitate and wrapped his warm arms around my hips and pulled me closer. I felt my face flush and the tension build in my muscles. I was fighting the onslaught of feelings threatening to overwhelm me. He pulled his mouth away from mine and pressed hot kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I leaned my head back and surrendered to the sensations that were assaulting me for what felt like the first time.

Jacob run his hot hands up my back pulling at my sweat top and softly palming at patches of exposed skin as he explored my frail frame. I released my hands from their frozen position by my side and traced my fingers the length of his upper arms, along his neck and into his hair just as his hands moved onto my head, it was Jacobs turn to freeze this time. He paused as his hands felt the fuzz that was my hair, it was only briefly though and if I hadn't been so sensitive about it, I would never have noticed.

He lifted his lips from my collar bone and brought them crushing down on mine before he broke away and left a trail of kisses cooling on the path to my ear.

"God Bells, I've missed yo so much," he gasped.

"Me too Jake," I whispered back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After my physio we strolled back to my room, hand in hand. Jake never left my bed side after that, we hardly broke contact never mind anything else. Every night I spent in hospital after that, Jake would crawl onto the bed beside me and hold me close whilst I dreamt of werewolves.

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**Please leave a review . I love them :)**


	27. The dreams that do Come JPOV

Hi folks, I'm back! After the week from hell I just needed a few more days to recover and get my shit together, but it's over now Yay!!

**huge appologies for all the review's i've yet to reply to, just so you know, i'm on it :) you will all be getting replies in the next day, so hang on, i will get there. so if you get a few replies in your mailbox, it's just me catchin up:)**

**I'm aware that a few of you have been interested in getting involved with the blog spot i'm putting together. it's still a WIP but expect an IM soon to knock some ideas around.**

**good news, i've been writing like a woman possesed over the last few days so expect another update really soon. i've go another 6000 words down and waiting to be led up to. Also there may be a few big chapters coming up. Hold onto your seats it's gonna get interesting.**

**Happy day Jake and Bells are together again.**

**Appologies for their actions though. Must say Jacobs Creek and sexy music fueled their sillyness. Hey! don't judge me it's friday night here :) **

**'sall Steph's**

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Chapter 27

When I wasn't with Bells at the hospital, I was busy organising her homecoming celebrations.

After lots of persuading, Charlie had agreed to let me organise something for her and said he would drop a pile of invitations off at the high school for people in her classes. I knew she wasn't close to many of them but all of La Push was going to turn out for her. I figured she would want some of her class mates there, even if she couldn't remember any of them. So the invitations went out.

It was a going to be a typical La Push celebration, big bonfire, lots of food, good company, you get the picture. Billy had even managed to exploit his position on the town council and let me have the function marquee free of charge. It wasn't pretty to look at and it had been well used over the years, but Emily had assured me that she would have it looking great come Saturday night.

Every one was pitching in one way or another. Ems, Sue and Leah had agreed to see to the food and the decorations, Sam and the rest of the pack, dealt with the marquee, Embry's cousin was starting out as a DJ, he had agreed to play so long as I provided the girls, food and beer, so it was looking to be a night to remember or at least for Bella, one she would never get the chance to forget.

She was due to be discharged from hospital on the Friday after lunch. The doctors wanted to give her a quick once over before they signed her off. I headed off to Clallam County at around eleven thirty. Charlie's cruiser was already parked in the lot when I arrived. It was turning out to be a typical, Forks, wet and dreary afternoon. I really hoped the weather picked up over night. June days on the North western seaboard could be unpredictable and the weather could range from scorching dry heat to monsoon style downpours, today was the latter.

Many of the days and weeks that had passed since Bella's last visit to La Push had been filled with that much despair and dread that I had all but forgotten the events that had happened that day. It had only been when I dropped off the class invitations to Charlie, and he had mentioned her school friends, that I remembered the significance of some of them. Lauren Mallory stinking of vampire, Angela witnessing me phase, then her subsequent actions that saved Bella's life. I hadn't even thanked her for that yet, or discussed what she had seen, and whilst I hoped she would make an appearance at the party, I really didn't want to have _THAT_ conversation with her. As for Lauren Mallory, I had Jared and Quil keep a close eye on her to see if anything out of the ordinary showed up.

I jumped out of the rabbit and made my way towards Bella's room. When I arrived in the ward I could hear Billy laughing and chatting away to the nurses. He and Annie had become good friends over the past few weeks and so I knew the person on the receiving end of his lame sense of humour was sure to be her. I hung back for a moment, curious as to who was the source of the tall tale this time. He chatted and she laughed like they were old time friends. It was good to hear him goofing around with someone other than Charlie, someone of the opposite sex. The chat between them died away and a few moments passed.

"Well I'd best get back to work Billy, it's a good thing Bella there is getting out today. I don't think my bosses would put up with much more of my slacking whenever you're around," she laughed, but the laughter was hollow and empty. _Come on Billy_ I willed. I held my breath and considered putting them both out of their misery by interrupting them. The atmosphere that hung in the air was palpable. Billy, desperate to say something that would make her stay for a while longer, Annie desperate for him to say something so she would have an excuse to stay.

"Say Annie," he paused for a moment, "You know how Jake is organising this do for Bella? Well I was wonderin' if you weren't working tomorrow night or anything, well I'm sure you probably are, but if you weren't then I was going to ask if you would like to join us." Now I knew where I got my way with the ladies. Billy had managed to mumble out his first pick up line since he had met my mom, and I was bursting with pride for him. I held my breath and waited for her to answer him.

"Billy Black, I could think of nothing I'd rather do. I'm off tomorrow and although I had planned a night in with the love of my life, my cat, I'm sure she will survive without me for one evening." Billy and I both sighed simultaneously with relief.

After the doctor met with Bella, I offered to take her home. Charlie wasn't overly keen on the idea, but after the last few months of watching me pay penance for letting anything happen to her in the first place, it only took gentle persuasion from Billy to make him change his mind. Billy had some plan to get him roped into the preparations for her party the following night. I just wanted a few hours with her to just be alone, no interruptions just Jake and Bells, hanging out like we always did.

I had raided Rachel's stack of chic flicks for something light hearted to watch with her and had settled on The Hot Chick and 50 First Dates. Rob Schneider was a funny guy and I thought we could do with a laugh after the past few months.

Bella was enthusiastic when I told her what I had planned, pizza, Doritos, DVDs and just us, pigging out in front of the TV, Bella still looked like she needed a good feed after eating hospital crap for a few weeks. I knew she had struggled with the food they offered, it didn't help that she only ever ate enough to sustain a mouse.

We stopped of at the store and picked up some supplies. Charlie had given me a list of stuff to get, so I set about retrieving the items on the list whilst Bella went off to get the Doritos, dips and popcorn. Once I had everything on the list I went to meet up with her before going to the till.

She was at the front of the store chatting to some girl. It looked to be someone she knew or at least remembered. As I walked towards her she met my eyes and nodded towards me. "Jake, quick come and meet my friend Angela." My stomach started to churn when she said her name. This was not the way I wanted to face Angela after that day on the beach. I had so much to say to her, so much to try and explain.

Angela turned to face me and gave me a friendly smile; it put me at ease a little. "Bella, Jake and I have already met, the day of your accident, you introduced me to him." Bella blushed slightly, perhaps realising that her life was unfamiliar to her alone.

I thrust my hands into my pockets and turned to Bella's friend. "Hi Angela, how are you? Listen I've been meaning to call you and say thanks for everything you did for Bells, it just..."

Angela stopped me mid sentence, "No worries Jake, god you had enough on your plate making sure this one was ok." she reached out and rubbed her hand up and down Bella's arm. She really did seem as nice as Bella had said before. " Listen Bella, it was great seeing you, but I don't want to hold you guys back any longer, but wait and I'll give you my number and you can call me, anytime mind, and maybe we could do some stuff together." She reached into her bag and pulled out a pen and piece of paper, saying the number out loud she scribbled it onto the little note then pressed it into Bella's hand. Bella smiled at her then unzipped her bag and pressed the numbers into the cell phone Charlie had bought her. I looked at Angela for a brief second whilst Bella was distracted. She mouthed "Call me," silently as Bella plunked on the keys.

I took notice and attempted to commit the number to memory so I could call her later when I got home. I knew it had to happen I just didn't want it to be now.

We said our goodbye's then made our way to Bella place, stopping off at Dominoes to pick up a Hawaiian with extra cheese.

Bella had no problems remembering the layout of the house and after unpacking all her stuff we settled down to watch our movies and eat our pizza, which was now cold.

We watched the first, laughing our heads off together as Rob Schneider's character has a try at peeing in a urinal for the first time, Pee spraying every where, Hilarious.

Bella was yawning by the end of the first movie.

"Do you want to go to bed now?" I asked. Bella looked at me a little surprised and I quickly added, "I can go just now if you want, let you get settled for the night." Bella looked saddened by the idea.

"Uh.... no, it's ok. Unless you need to go that is." She looked at me nervously. I could smell the adrenaline spike in her blood. She bit her lip as she waited for me to reply.

"No, I'm good, just let me know when you want me to leave," I couldn't figure out why she was so stressed or why I was so nervy come to mention it. It slowly dawned on me, this was the first time we had been alone with each other in almost two months. For Bells it was the first time we had been truly alone, ever.

I relaxed back into the corner of the couch and pulled her to lie against my chest. She settled her head just below my shoulder, her muscles softening as she expelled a little sigh. I hit the play button on the remote and inhaled deeply as the movie started.

About twenty minutes in I realised what a big mistake I had made with picking this one. It was about a girl who had suffered a brain injury and was going to suffer from life long amnesia. I cussed myself for being an insensitive prick and reached for the remote. As I did Bella caught my hand and wrapped my arm around her stomach. She guffawed as the girl in the movie beat the shit out of a guy with a baseball bat. Giggling like crazy she looked up at me from my chest, I laughed along with her for a moment then we reached to each other and kissed for a bit longer than necessary. I rubbed my hand back and forth across her stomach as we broke away. She hummed with contentment and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch, shook it over us and returned her attention back to the movie. I breathed a sigh of relief. My stupidity hadn't upset her.

After the movie finished Bella turned back to me, looking thoughtful. "Do you think I will remember everything from before Jake?"

"I dunno Bells. Why? Does it bother you if you don't?" I don't know why I ask stupid questions. Of course it would bother her, her and any other normal person. Obviously I didn't fit the criteria for normal.

"Well some things do, I suppose, well some things more than others anyway."

I looked at her, concerned for a moment about the direction of this conversation. "Anything I might be able to help with?"

"Well I do wonder about us, how did we get to be together? What things, other than bike riding and cliff diving did we do together? How close were we before, well, you know, before my brain was turned to mashed potato? Where did we go on dates? What were we on like first, second base?"

"Alright, okay, so you're saying you want all the intimate details then?" I laughed.

"JAAKE, gosh I feel like such an idiot, these are things I should know. I'm just curious" I hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head then leaned my chin on the same spot.

"Can I ask the reason for the sudden curiosity?" I murmured.

"Hmm.... I suppose, uh it's like this. I know we're close, but I don't know just how close, sometimes I feel like I've known you forever, other times I am terrified to show you how strongly I feel in-case I frighten you off and you leave. I don't want to seem needy; it's just that at times I am so overwhelmed by emotions that I can hardly function. I just need to know how you feel about me, about us I suppose." I died a little inside as I realised the one thing Bella hadn't forgotten from before the accident was how to feel insecure.

"Bells, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, ever."

"Jake, don't take this the wrong way, but those are just words, this thing between us I, I feel like it's something huge and words just don't cover it. I adore that you can say that you love me, but if I'm to be honest Jake there are no words to describe how I feel about you." She halted briefly, gathering her thoughts. "You sense things and react to my thoughts before I have time to verbalise them, sometimes I swear it's like you read my thoughts." she laughed nervously.

"I know! Make way for the crazy lady! I swear to god I can't stop thinking about you, ever. Even when I'm sleeping, I'm dreaming about you, you and wolves for some strange reason. You and.... well you and other things, intimate things." She stopped and blushed crimson.

"Well.... Shoot, ask me anything you want, I'll answer everything I swear." It was all I could think to say as my mind started racing over what she had just said. She was dreaming of me, more worryingly, she was dreaming of wolves.

For the next half hour she asked and I answered questions in a 20Q stylie, they ranged from our first date, to what was my favourite colour. By the time I had finished telling Bells about the 'first date' we had with Mike Newton; she was giggling hysterically, jiggling about on my chest and pressing comfortably into my groin.

Laughing so hard it hurt, I wrapped my arms around her waist and tried to steady her movements, stopping her from stimulating me further. We were doing what I had set out to achieve. We were having a laugh, hanging out; I didn't want my dick to get in the way of that.

Bella lay back and rested against me, as she did, her top pulled sneakily away from her waist, leaving my hands resting on her bare skin. She hummed quietly.

"Hmmmm."

"Hmmm?" I replied.

"Hmmmmmmmm," she shot back.

"Hmm?" I questioned.

"HMMMMMMMM" she confirmed, giggling along.

I rubbed my nose to her scent spot just behind her ear and inhaled, kissing her gently. She squirmed about pressing her but against my....

"Grrrr" I exclaimed.

Bella giggled again, "HMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

I sucked on her neck and slid one hand up to cup her breast. She hissed and scooted back further, leaning into my hand and pressing her nipple against the rough of my palm.

"Jake, show me how muchyou love me," she whispered. My love for Bella was boundless so, knowing that feet would never be possible, I rolled my hips against her butt and let her feel how hard she made me. I could hear her breath catch in her throat. I rolled her nipple in between my thumb and fore finger, gently kneading her breast and pulling at her nub. Bells legs lolled to the side and she rocked her hips against me, wantonly. I slipped the hand that was resting on her torso down into the waist band of her sports pants. I reached the soft cotton of her panties and stroked her through the fabric.

"Ungh," Bella gasped,

"Hmmmm," I replied.

She bucked her hips forward, pressing her centre firmly against my probing fingers. I slid across her centre and pulled her panties over to the side so I could fell how wet she was for me. I dipped my fingers into her soft folds and almost cried out as she ground her ass, hard against my erection. It was all the encouragement I needed, I eased my knees in between her legs, hitched her onto my thighs and spread her wide open, all the while I was kissing and sucking the back of her neck, palming her breasts, rhythmically rocking my hard on against her.

I didn't need to see Bella's face to know that this was ok, in fact, more than ok, she purred and rubbed herself all over me and smelled like heaven.

I slid two fingers inside her and smeared her wetness all around her soft folds then settled a finger on either side of her clit and worked her gently. She squirmed and bucked as I slipped my fingers over her erect bud, before slowly, tantalisingly, pushing them deep inside her, curving them towards her belly, making her breath my name like a prayer. I pressed my thumb back onto her clit and drew languid circles over and around it. Her pussy quickly began to clench sporadically as she spilled warm cum over my fingers, I could feel my cock harden with anticipation. Then she came hard and fast, I could feel the tremors build inside her like her own little earth quake, then she flooded again and her muscles clamped firmly around my fingers. I gripped her hips and drew her hard against me one last time, pressing my throbbing hard on against her ass, then I released, cuming just as fast and hard as Bella had, the feeling of intimacy in that moment overwhelmed me and I found myself unable to say anything to soften or atone for what had just happened. I had just relived one of my favourite dreams of Bella.

BPOV.

Ok this shit was getting freaky, not only had Jake been unbelievably attentive to my every whim recently, he just replayed one of the dreams I'd had of him when I had been in hospital. Ok it was minus the freakishly large russet werewolf, but that's where the differences ended.

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**Remember to leave you thoughts/ reviews they are my life blood :)**


	28. A Bathroom Accident BPOV

**i lost my mojo there for a long while, hope you enjoy reading and hopefully i will be updating soon :O)**

BPOV.

My heart was pounding hard against my ribs as I soaked up the warmth of Jacob's body pressed against mine, his arms held me tight against him. Jacob had been so gentle with me, but so sure of what to do.

I was confused because despite his physical demeanour he was only seventeen years old, not old enough to know all the things he did about the way my body would respond to his touch, but what the hell, who cared? Right now I was floating in the stratosphere rolling in the after glow of my climax.

Jake started to shift beneath me, his warm arm and hand gripped me as he rolled us onto our sides and pulled me back against him.

"You ok?" he whispered. I nodded in response. My face flushed crimson as I realised the inappropriateness of what we had just done together. We had destroyed an enormous barrier between us and I felt as though it was a bit too eagerly on my part, now I was embarrassed by my forwardness.

"I can feel the extra heat you put out when you're blushing you know," he quietly laughed.

"Jake, you must think I'm some sort of sex maniac, practically begging you for sex the first time we are alone. " I pressed my fade into my hands in an attempt to hide my growing embarrassment and chewed my lip. I waited for him to say something, anything to take away the feeling of guilt that weighed on my shoulders, although we hadn't went any further than touching each other, well him touching me really, I felt that by instigating it, somehow I had taken away a chunk of his innocence.

"Bella, Shit, don't ever think like that, it's not as though this is the first time we've been intimate you know, you didn't force me into doing anything I didn't want to do or hadn't thought about doing at least a hundred times in the past year. I love you. You want to know how much and it wasn't as if you were the only one who benefited from our little love-in." It was Jakes turn to turn red. At first I didn't realise what he meant and then the penny dropped. I must admit I was more than a bit turned on when I realised the effect I had had on him.

"Bella, who knew you could be so...naughty?" His laugh rumbled deep within his chest and I giggled as the tension between us eased away. "And although I love lying here with you like this, I am aware that things are staring to dry out down there and I really don't want to get glued in."

I scooted forwards to let Jacob out from behind me, as I did, headlights shone brightly through the living room window. Charlie was home.

The next thing I knew I was lying on the floor beside the couch as Jacob almost threw me out of his way, he leapt into the middle of the floor, muscles rippling as he shimmered and bristled in front of me. I squealed as he seemed to grow in height and his body bulged. He turned to me, a look of terror crept across his face.

"Jake, it's only Charlie, calm down and go clean yourself up." I tried to ease his panic by gently reassuring him.

He looked at me like the life had been frightened clean out of him. "You're right, um, I should go get cleaned up." He quickly made his way to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed behind him clattering noises followed by an almighty crash that sounded like the room it's self exploded. I raced up the stairs all too aware that Charlie was now out of the car and making his way up the path towards the house.

"JAKE! Jake, are you ok?" he didn't reply. "Jake, what's going on?" Still, he didn't reply. I could hear him moving around but as he didn't answer me I was finding it hard not to throw myself against the door and try to bust it open. As that thought passed through my head I had a vivid flash back to a scene when I was doing that exact thing, only I was naked and I was really panicking and somewhat embarrassed.

I could hear Charlie fumbling with his door keys and knew that I was going to have to make a split second decision, ram the door open or run down the stairs.

I took a step back and braced myself to thump the door with my foot when I heard Jacob mumbling and coughing, I breathed a sigh of relief and asked, "Jake, are you ok?" I could still hear him stumbling about.

"Oh fuck, I mean shit, uh, yeah I'm fine Bella. Uh, I'll be right down. You go down, see Charlie." I immediately did as he asked, aware that if Charlie entered the house and caught both of us in the up-stair area he would jump to conclusions. After what Jake and I had been up to earlier, I was aware that it wasn't entirely the wrong conclusions but things were still tense between them and I didn't want it to get worse.

I bounded down to the foot of the stairs and hit the hallway just as Charlie pushed the front door open. I grabbed him around the neck and gave him a tight hug. "Hi Dad," I squealed. Charlie humphed and pealed me off.

"Hey Bella," he croaked. The look on his face said it all. Suspicion. "Where's Jake?

"Uh, he's in the bathroom. Why?"

"The bathroom, huh?"

I looked at Charlie in the eye. "Yeah Dad, the bathroom." I laughed nervously and shook my head. I could feel that my behaviour was out of character and that I was dangerously close to giving away the fact that Jake and I had been up to something earlier. I turned on my heels and walked away before I implicated myself and Jake in a crime we had yet to commit. It did the trick. Charlie's attention moved to the scene in the living room. The pizza box was still on the floor and the Doritos pack was poking up from behind the cushion on the back of the couch.

"What movies did you watch?" he asked. After recounting what the films were and each of the story lines, Charlie seemed content once I had answered all his questions verbatim. I, on the other hand, was growing increasingly concerned over the whereabouts of Jacob, he had been gone almost twenty minutes.

Charlie noticed that I was growing agitated. "Bells, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." I looked at Charlie, quickly trying to decipher what he was trying to say. Then it hit.

"Ewe, Dad, please. There are thing in life I don't ever need to think about and that comes at the top of my list."

"Did you tell him what you did with the soda?" I almost jumped out of my skin; Jacob had entered the living room without either Charlie or me hearing him. Charlie looked just as surprised as I felt.

"Uh, no." I was suddenly left wondering where this conversation was going to lead.

"She dropped a can of soda and then opened it leaving me covered in spray."

Charlie snorted and turned to look at Jacob. "Well, at least she did the decent thing and gave you a pair of jeans and a t-shirt." I turned to look at Jacob, confused.

There he stood, dressed in an old holey pair of Charlie's jeans and a police department issue t-shirt. His hair was wet and ruffled and he looked hot. I blushed as I thought back to earlier. "Are those clothes ok for you? They are the only things that Charlie here owns that aren't checked or uniform." I decided it was best to go along with whatever story Jacob had concocted rather than arouse Charlie's suspicion further.

"Yup they're fine. Thanks Bella." I smiled up at Jacob as he stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"Anyway I'd best get going and let you get to bed. Great to see you chief." He raised his eyebrows, sighed deeply and thrust his hands into his pockets.

"Wait and I'll see you out," I said hurriedly as I jumped up off the couch.

"See you later Jake." Charlie mumbled as we headed for the front door.

Jake stepped through the door and onto the front porch. I threw a glance over my shoulder, I wanted to make sure that Charlie was well out of earshot before begun to quiz Jake over what happened in the bathroom.

I stepped out behind him onto the porch and pulled the door quietly shut behind me.

The smell of ozone lay heavily in the air, it reminded me of the way the atmosphere felt just before snow fell. It was fresh and cool. I turned to talk to Jacob only to find that he was gone. I quickly scanned the kerbside to see if the Rabbit was still there, which it was. Suddenly I felt Jakes warm hands grasp me from the dark shadows cast by the porch light. He pulled me onto his chest , lifting me clear off my feet and crushing me in a balmy embrace.

"I love you," he whispered. It still caught me off guard how easily he let those three little words slip past his lips, but that was only because this whole situation with Jacob was still so new to me. Hmm, new to me. What does that say about the type of person I am? We had a serious make out session no more than half an hour ago. I blushed furiously. Jacob laughed quietly. "Blushing again Miss Swan?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure that will get old pretty soon."

"God I hope not. I feel all warm inside when you blush like that. It makes me think I'm doing something that makes you feel all hot and bothered." My face lit up again and laughter rumbled deep in Jacobs's throat. "See what I mean. I just need to suggest hotness and your face glows."

"Shush, Jeez Jake, I don't know it seems like a better way to handle thing than crashing about then hiding in a bathroom. Hey, talking of which, what the hell happened with that?"

" I tripped up and crashed into the cupboard," he answered quickly, too quickly to be honest. "I cleaned up, the rooms perfect, just as I found it." Jake scanned every available surface surrounding us , not in an outright obvious way, but in a way that made it clear to me that his explanation of what had happened was closed, and there would be no more talking about it. "Anyway," he continued, " I was thinking, we should go out on a real date, how about the little pizzeria on the 101 tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure a night in front of the TV doesn't account for a date these days and I did promise you a proper date."

I immediately reached for my head, feeling the shorn hair that now sparsely covered my scalp. If I agreed to go on a date there with Jacob it would be my new hairs first outing around people I know. It unnerved me to know that people who knew me would be shocked or surprised to see me looking so different. They would ogle me and I have never felt comfortable being the centre of attention.

"You look beautiful, a proper little pixie. All that's missing is the pointy ears..." Jacob teased. I guffawed loudly. Had it not been Jacob that had said it, I would have probably taken offence to the teasing. But it wasn't anyone else, it was him and his teasing warmed me from within "I'll take that as a yes, hmm?"

"Yeah, that's a yes," I replied, still giggling.

Jacob quickly stole a kiss. "Anyhow, I better get going." He untangled his arms and stepped backwards off the front porch. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at six thirty?"

"Yeah, six thirty is good," I replied.

"Okay, see you then."

"Ugh Jake,"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be late." I giggled.

I don't know why but this exchange with Jacob felt like it should, you know, when someone asks you on a date for the first time. Our love was messed up, like chicken noodle soup. All the elements were there to make it fresh, warm, comforting and satisfying, you just didn't know what combination each mouthfull would bring.


	29. Sparkles and Glimmers JPOV

I was really surprised to find that so many people were still prepared to pick this story up where i'd so bluntly left it. Thanx to everyone who left a review.

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It wasn't until I was safely inside the rabbit that I could finally begin to relax. I couldn't believe that I had almost phased in front of Bella, right in the middle of Charlie's living room.

The stench of vampires as Charlie had arrived home had overwhelmed me and I had immediately jumped into protector mode. Bella had been in the in a really vulnerable position a few minutes before. Fuck. What would have happened if Charlie had been just those few short minutes earlier? It wasn't worth contemplating. I wouldn't have been able to control myself at all. I would have phased right under Bella and probably hurt her badly or maybe even killed her.

I could feel the sweat bead on my brow as my mind skimmed over the countless outcomes that had thankfully failed to play out.

I had been foolish. I should have known better than to ever let my guard down.

On the vampire front, things had been very quiet here in Forks for a few months. Following the Visit from the little leech Bella called Alice and the brief encounter that I had had with the vamp stench that had came from the girl Lauren on First beach, there had been nothing, not a whiff of anything un-dead.

Charlie was saturated in the foul, sickening smell, so-much-so I was guaranteeing that he had had an up close and personal encounter with one blood sucking, mother fucking leech.

Just like the day on the beach this leech was not one that I could identify in the heat of the moment, but there was something about the stench that put me in mind of how the girl had smelled that day.

When I had phased in the bathroom I was unable to connect with any of the guys, so I immediately knew there was no threat in La Push. They were all helping with the preparations for tomorrow night. I had a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Maybe a party wasn't such a good idea after all. I was about to lift my cell to call Emily and tell her to cancel the party when it suddenly lit up and begun to blast out its incessantly aggravating electronic tune. The number that flashed on the screen was not one I recognised and it was obviously not one I had programmed into the memory. I wasn't in the mood to talk to any random person. I briefly considered opening the window and throwing it into the bushes. No one ever called me, ever...

I stared at the phone as it played its ditty. Maybe if I stared at the number long enough I would have an epiphany and figure out who the caller might be. I answered the phone, one half of me expecting it to be a wrong number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is that Jacob Black?" The voice was nervous and unsure.

I didn't recognise the voice on the other end, and so answered cautiously, "Ugh... who's that?"

"Jake that is you, isn't it?"

"Ugh... yeah, yeah , this is Jake. Who's this?"

"Oh, thank god, it is you. I was so afraid that this was the wrong number that I didn't want to say anything until I was sure who I was talking to. I hope you don't mind I got your number from Mike's dad. I think you did some work on his car last year. Jake its Angela." The fact that it was Angela tilted me off balance.

"Ugh, Angela, right...Um what can I do for you?" I knew exactly why she was phoning, and despite her basically telling me to call her when we had bumped into her at the store, I now realised this was a conversation I didn't wasn't to have over the phone.

"Jake, I know things have been tough for you over the last few months, but I really have to talk to someone about what happened that day on the beach, and given what I remember I think it should you I speak to and not some random person that would probably have me committed at the first mention of werewolves." I almost shushed her as she said the words, to smite whatever she was going to say before it became audible, but I had to admit, she was being sensible although very blunt about it.

Truth was, she could have easily informed anyone who would listen, but she hadn't and I wasn't sure whether that was out of friendship to Bella or whether it was out of self preservation.

"Listen, Angela. I really don't want to talk about that day over the phone. How about we meet up somewhere and I'll tell you what I can." I could tell she was unsure of whether to agree or not; she took a few moments to decide.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked, "Us meeting up, that is?"

It suddenly struck me, Angela was right to be cautious. I had grown so used to Bella being around and, at least until the accident, being so accepting that it rarely occurred to me that people would actually fear me.

"I can bring someone along if you like, if it makes you feel better." Jeez this was going to be hard not only was I going to have to try to explain to Angela about our tribe without actually telling her, but I was now setting myself up to have to face one of my brothers and tell him that an outsider knew about me.

"Ugh I don't know Jake, I don't know if that's a good idea. Would it be ok if I brought a friend?" Her question caught me off guard and as a result my brain seized. She quickly retracted, "Oh god, excuse me Jake, that was probably the stupidest question I've ever asked in my life, it's just... it's just you've got me a little freaked out. Of course I can't bring anyone along, how insensitive of me, please forget I suggested it; of course I'll meet you. When and where would be good for you?" Angela's tone had taken a turn. She seemed embarrassed and something else, sympathetic.

I suppose individuals react differently to abnormalities in people. Some ridicule, some are repulsed, some give acceptance, but this was different. I had the feeling that what Angela was feeling, was pity. The tone she took was like that of someone who had just offended a person with disabilities. I chuckled silently to myself; this girl was almost as absurd as Bella had been before the accident.

I let her off the hook. "Angela, it's ok, I understand." I said gently, trying to sooth her. "I can meet you somewhere public and I'm sure I can rustle up at least one semi-normal friend." I could hear her quietly giggle on the other end of the phone. "Is that ok then?"

"Yeah, how about at the football field next to the high school, say about one thirty tomorrow?"

"Is it busy on the weekend?"

"Yeah it can be. The jocks have practice there, is that a problem?" The tension was back in her voice.

"Nope... the more the merrier" I lied. The idea of having to explain away the severe injury of Forks high schools star player because he thought it might be fun to harass two Quileute kids that were totally out of place on Forks high footy field, did not appeal to me in the slightest. But I suspected there was no way I was going to get the chance to explain things to Angela if I didn't meet on her terms.

"Okay, see you then."

"Okay bye..." I shut the phone off and tossed it onto the passenger seat beside me.

Fuck, not only was I going to go public to her, but there was a strong possibility that I was also going to get my ass kicked by Sam.

The only answer to that was not to tell him and to not phase until after the event. If he found out what we had planned he would just order me not to meet up with her.

I was having an internal bust up. I couldn't believe what I was getting myself into, telling an outsider about our secret was a huge no-no, but it wasn't as though she was totally clueless, she had seen all the evidence she ever needed with her own eyes, but I was the only person who knew this.

I would have to ask someone that I could trust implicitly to accompany me tomorrow. The only person I could think of, the only person that I knew would try above all to both help me out and not blab to Sam was Leah. Ok she would probably throw a shit fit when she found out what I had planned, but one thing I knew for sure, she would do anything to defy Sam and go behind his back. This would be a major point score for her, and for my benefit, it would probably help Angela to relax if I brought along another girl.

The other plus, Leah would be a nice distraction for any Jocks that might want to try to take on the unsuspecting Quileute boys from the reservation. Oh yeah, and she could kick any guys ass when she put her mind to it.

Now all I had to do was ask her.

Leah was in a particularly shitty mood when I eventually caught up with her. She was drowning her sorrows by a little campfire on First Beach. The air was heavy with brine, you know, the way the air smells just before a big storm. The waves were crashing onto the rocks at the headland, they were angry and thunderous. There was definitely a storm behind them. Leah looked up as she heard me approach.

"Fuck," she breathed when she saw me. She downed the last of the beer in the bottle in her hand before reaching into the box, pulling out another and cracking it open with her teeth. The top popped as she cannoned it onto the fire in front of her.

"Hmm...Cute," I murmured in her direction. This was the last thing I needed. Leah in a mood at Christ knows what. There was no way she was going to go along with anything anyone said to her tonight.

She gave me a death stare. "Look, just...fuck off Jacob; I'm not in the mood ok."

"Ugh, yeah... I can see that for myself." I looked at the empty bottles lying around the campfire; there was easily thirteen lying around. "What's this anyway, you throwing yourself a little party, did we forget your birthday?" I tentatively tried to keep the questions as light as possible; I could see by her demeanour that whoever got into her path of self destruction tonight was going down with her.

"Ha fucking ha... that's right, take the piss asshole. You're close but you're not close enough." This wasn't like Leah, something really bad must have happened.

It was like Leah to get pissed, yes. It was like Leah to be a bitter harpy, yes. It was like Leah to be a crass cussing foul mouth of a woman, but it was not like Leah to combine the three together and throw a full on pity party, at least not in public and definitely not somewhere that any random person taking a stroll on the beach could witness the carnage.

I realised that this occasion didn't call for false humour and caution; it called for blunt questions and a preparedness to defend myself. I continued, "Jesus Leah, what's your beef?"

"Like I said Jacob, fuck off..."

No... I wasn't going to just fuck off, I needed her to quit her shit and help me out with my problem, even if I meant that I had to deal with her shit. I stared at her, trying to force her to look at me. It didn't work; she just continued to gaze into the flames, like she was in a trance. A gust of wind blew a shower of embers up into the night sky and the flames brightened momentarily, giving away Leah's disturbing secret.

The skin around her eyes was deep red and swollen, tears sparkles and glimmered on her cheeks. I knew at that point to ask her no more questions. She drew here sleeve across her face in an attempt to hide the evidence of her self-pity. Something really bad had happened.

I crossed the few feet between us and plonked myself down beside her. She tried to shift away from me but I wrapped my arm tightly around her shoulder and drew her close into my side. She fought against me, pushing into my side, there was little force there, it was a half hearted attempt to place some ground between us.

Deep down even Leah knew she needed to maintain some thread of connection to humanity even when she didn't want it to witness her pain.

I couldn't be sure what had brought on this recent outburst, the death of her father was still fresh in everyone's mind, but Leah never let her guard down there. She had remained stoic since the day he had died. I knew she blamed herself for his death, but it was a well known fact that Harry had suffered from a heart condition for years. Only me and the other wolves knew that he had passed away after witnessing Leah phase in the middle of his living room.

Leah sat stiffly beside me unwilling to bend and settled herself firmly behind the invisible wall she had built around herself since she had split with Sam. I leaned forward to fetch a bottle of beer from the box. Leah remained tightly wound beside me. I handed her the bottle and she opened it the same way she had her own, spitting the bottle top into the fire and handing it back to me. As I took the bottle, I felt her soften into my side a little; every now and then she would sniff and wipe her eyes with the cuff of her sleeves.

I don't know how long we sat in silence, both of us thinking out own thoughts, staring at the same flames and embers dance in the night breeze, swigging the few cold beers that were left in the box.

She eventually spoke when she reached for another beer and found the box empty.

"Fucking great...the perfect fucking end to the perfect fucking day," she said hoarsely, before tossing the box into the dying fire. I took one last swig from my bottle and handed her the remains. She took the bottle eagerly and drained it of its last few drops.

"Do you know what day it is today Jake?" The fact that she was addressing me and not just blurting shit out took me by surprise.

"I dunno, Thursday, Friday?" I asked, confused. "Why, _is_ it your birthday?" I had thought Leah's birthday was around Christmas time.

She punched me so hard in the ribs it took my breath away. "No fucktard, it's not my fucking birthday. Jesus fucking Christ why do I need to be the only girl wolf in the tribe?" She paused for a long breath before continuing. "No Jake today is Friday the twentieth of August 2010."

I looked at her, trying to pick up clues as to what she was talking about. I quickly filtered through the dates I had committed to memory, every birthday and anniversary that I could think of. Little did I know how far up the wrong tree I was barking. What I should have been trying to filter through were the days when things that should have happened, didn't.

"Today," she continued, " is the day that Sam and I were supposed to get married, right here, on this very spot on this very beach." She poked her finger into the sand beneath us as she accentuated every syllable that passed her lips. "And today is the day that that insensitive prick chooses to announce to the world that his compulsory bride to be is carrying his bastard child." She whined a little as she said it.

The pain and sorrow I felt for Leah was overpowering. The two things she had wanted most in the world had been taken from her on the one day that should have been the happiest day of her life.

Her shaking began as a gentle tremor and it built and built until the convulsions cast off from Leah's grief had both of us visibly vibrating in the dying light from the fire. She pushed against me as I crushed her into my chest in a vain attempt to absorb some of the pain she was feeling, to make it just a little better for her. She thrashed her fists against my chest, but with each strike the force weakened, she was succumbing.

The wails of sorrow that left her chilled me to the bone; it was the sort of sound that made your heart stall. If I could have taken her pain and felt it for her I would have just so I would never have to hear her like that again, it was like a toxic mixture of defeat and despair. She was my pack sister, her pain was my pain.

After a while the shaking and the tears eventually subsided but the undercurrent of her unhappiness displayed itself in little burst as her breathing caught in sobs as it begun to return to normal.

"Why can't I make him love me Jacob, why can't I make his heart feel the way mine does?" I sat quietly in the darkness and listened "I try to block out the fact that he doesn't love me anymore, but it's like I'm in limbo. I still love him Jake and I'm not ready to move on. I need more time."

I had no answers for Leah. The truth was that time had run out for her the moment Sam had imprinted on Emily. There would be no more time.


End file.
